We say we want commitment, but often our actions tell a different story. For the insecurely attached, we feel safer in relationships that have an escape hatch; a way out. This “protects” us from having to get too close. When I talk to clients who complain about the person they’re dating and his or her reluctance to commit, I always turn the question back on my client to ask where THEY are afraid to commit. Of course most of them don’t think they are; it is the other person who is solely responsible for the relationship not progressing. Sorry, folks, but not so. Even if they pledged their undying love for you, it wouldn’t matter because you’ve already got your bags packed.

Sometimes this shows up when we meet someone who is emotionally available. It’s terribly uncomfortable, so we freak out and look around for the trusty ol’ escape hatch that has served us so well in the past. Perhaps we’re afraid of this emotionally stable relationship being boring. How can we create drama and be the rescuer if he/she doesn’t need to be rescued? What if all we have to do is simply be ourselves? Scary. The escape hatch serves as an excuse to pin the commitment issues on the other person, allowing us to totally avoid our own fears and hide who we are. We put so much effort into these non-relationships, just to turn around and make sure we’re able to climb out of them. It requires a lot of energy, and it is the long, long path to a healthy, happy relationship. Learn more about how the subconscious works when it comes to commitment, and how it ALWAYS comes back to you.