Out of all relationships, the parental one is the hardest to change. Our parents were our first teachers about love and acceptance, so we not only pattern our behaviors after them, their opinions matter more than we care to admit. As children we thought they were always right, which meant we were wrong if we didn’t agree or feel the same way. Their worldview helped shaped ours whether we fought against it or not. Consequently as adults, many of us have a hard time trusting our feelings. Parents may also act as masters of pushing our emotional buttons. Parental guilt, anyone? In those triggered moments, we see them as people who don’t understand us, resulting in anger and distancing OR going the opposite direction and over-giving (rescuing, caretaking, etc.) to get validation.

Things start to change when you’re able to see them as people, not just as parents. They are flawed and react emotionally just like you. Having emotionally open conversations instead of slipping back into parent/child roles can help. Even if a parent is resistant, you can still find your voice and speak your truth. And if they start pushing your buttons, you get to choose your response. Instead of saying, “Stop disrespecting my choices,” you can flip it to a more empowering statement, “I feel good about my choices, so I won’t engage in a conversation which questions my decisions.” This is not about telling a parent they are right or wrong, it is saying what you choose to engage in, period.

I have a free download to help with this, providing example statements to put the focus on you (not them) so you can reclaim your personal power. You can’t change them, but you can change how you interact with them. Visit my show notes page to download “Parental Conversation Scripts: How to Diffuse Heated Conversations.” http://bit.ly/2jSKO7K