I used to try so hard to fly under the radar and blend into the background. I played small so I wouldn’t call attention to myself, and I did it in every possible situation… in my relationships, in my work, while socializing. I even played small with myself in what I wished for. It was all fear-based because I didn’t want anything bad to happen. I knew if I put myself out there, fear would greet me, so I did everything I could to avoid it. When you confront your fears, control goes out the window; anything can happen. It’s a lot safer to be a shrinking violet, right? Sure, if you want everything in your life to be small and limited and led by fear!

How do YOU fly under the radar to stay in your safe little cocoon? Do you withhold your wants and needs from your partner? Do you monitor yourself with a bunch of rules to keep things tight and controlled? Do you people-please and keep your partner happy so you can take the focus off you? How often do you try to go unnoticed so no one will criticize you? What is your relationship to fun? Do you have any, or do you limit that as well for fear the other shoe will drop and something horrible will happen? I still struggle with that one. Things in my life are going really well right now, so I catch myself looking for how it might be taken away. My awareness has grown immensely, but those fears still pop up from time to time.

To have what you say you want out of life, stop flying under the radar and start speaking your truth. Trying to control your life and avoiding the uncertainty of “going big” will ensure you stay in your small, stuck space. That’s not where joy and freedom live. You can’t outrun your fears or fight against them or ignore them without suffering the consequences of a limited life. When you come out of hiding and start confronting them, you’ll see your fears don’t kill you. Quite the contrary—stepping out to face them is how you finally live.