This podcast was inspired by an email from a listener. After getting out of a toxic relationship, she noticed her knee-jerk reaction of throwing up emotional walls when someone expressed interest in her. As someone who wants a healthy, committed relationship, she knows she needs to work through her fear, dismantle those walls and let people in… but how?

Walls go up when your head takes control and runs amok with fear-based stories. For me, this happened when comparing my dates to someone I was still hooked on, or to an on-again-off-again relationship. Basically, I compared them to what was familiar: my unhealthy insecurely attached relationships. My walls also went up when someone appeared too available because I would look into the future and imagine being stuck in a relationship I wasn’t sure I wanted.

When toxic relationships are what you know, healthy ones feel foreign. Fear leads every step you take, making it almost impossible to let someone in. Breaking down those walls comes from surrendering to your fear and standing in it. Each time you stop yourself from running, hiding or disconnecting from your emotions, you pull a brick down. As you do this, you give yourself the space to handle the GOOD instead of staying stuck in pain, which then creates an opening to let others in.