Some people refer to it as the game of love, but for me it was the game of attachment. I did it for years… in fact, for most of my life. Rules and strategies were always in the driver’s seat (while my heart was in the backseat). I was great on a first date and used to be able to guarantee a second and third. Even if I didn’t like the guy, I needed him to like ME. It was my thirst for validation. In that place of insecure attachment, I went against my own desire. So what happened? I would keep going out with him and get attached. Yep.

I built walls for so long that it was second nature; I had new walls and old crumbling walls, which kept me operating in old strategies so I wouldn’t feel pain. It doesn’t matter if you’re male or female, it’s this dance we do to protect ourselves and remain in control. We ALL crave emotional intimacy, but many of us find it difficult to open up and allow. Playing games or having rules for engagement keep us stuck in scarcity. We feel there are so few people who will answer our mating call, but that’s just our perception. We use scarcity and invulnerability to keep us stuck. Change that and you’ll change all of your relationships… not because others change, but because you will become more authentically you. Isn’t it time to ditch your rule book?