Those of us with insecure attachment issues are very protective of our beliefs and patterns. We may not THINK we are, and that we’re at the mercy of what’s happening outside of us, but that’s not true. It’s a choice to keep our walls up and remain in a protective state. In this state we remain attached to painful situations because it’s our comfort zone.

When things happen beyond our control, it can make us want to go over the edge. Parts of us may want to change and live a different life, but we don’t move in that direction because fear and anxiety overtake us. When you focus on what’s “wrong” (from your perspective) and think it’s something you can’t handle, you can bet you’re facing control issues. It’s all about trying to protect yourself from being hurt, disappointed, abandoned, exposed, etc. But the danger isn’t outside of you; it’s all happening internally.

You protect the struggle because it’s what you know. You’ve done it since childhood, whenever something painful happened. Speaking your truth and sharing these struggles with someone else can be hugely challenging, but it is how you start to remove your protective armor… which then leads to a more connected, fulfilled and happy life.