Journey to Change

I may have started off with a different title in mind, but ended this with things that go with the title I chose.

We can let things into our lives in multiple ways. We think that maybe it’s different but it ends up being exactly what we should have shut the door on.

At what point in life do you finally realize that you have to choose differently or else keep seeing the same outcome?

Is it 40? 50? What a blessing to have learned it early on so as to not be at a point so late in life still trying to figure it out.

The conviction won’t be the same for everyone..

How do you do it? How do you bring yourself back when your mind goes off on its own trip?

I tell myself NO, we don’t do that anymore. Does it always work? No. But I keep on saying it because I’m not who I used to be, and I refuse to allow myself to go back and remain in a place that I was freed from.

Whew.. Self awareness and self knowledge.. accountability and all that jazz. It can be tiring and frustrating trying to understand you and why you do what you do/did, why you are the way you are/were.

I get mad because I want to know why whatever happened to me did. Why did whoever do what they did to me?

Here I am, trying every day to improve, but I think I need to get that knowledge of why about myself to fully be able to become a better me. Maybe I’m wrong, but it stems from the things that occurred in my beginning for sure.

What’s on your plate?

I had the thought that when you’re older you should be bringing something good to the table, if you’re trying to be married later in life.

You’ve had time to live and experience different things.

Are you able to relax? Travel? Enjoy everything that you’ve worked for?

Or are you bleeding onto someone with all of the trauma and debt that you have accumulated?

There’s an online whatever person (influencer?) that I used to see speak of her capacity to do things. I get it now. Completely.

I’ve given so much of myself and I’m at the point to where I want to be done. I’m not sure how I can be a believer and be that way, but surely I can.. 🙏🏽

We all have our limits, and when they’re overextended you gotta go, even if it’s for just a little while.

How can you pour from an empty cup??

Is it enough to have someone love you, even though they only love you the way that they know how, and the way that they want to? Will you be good with never being loved the way that you need to be or ask to be?

I saw a video once where this woman had been with somebody for years and she said she finally walked away because she realized this man was never going to love her the way that she wanted and needed to be loved and a bunch of people were commenting saying, but at least he loved you.

I’ll take the love of friends and family, and of course my dogs nowadays. Everything else is way too complicated haha!

I don’t know if this is going to be become a thing or not, because lately Ive been watching movies that I connect with biblical things and it has me looking at the reality of life more. I believe that the truth lies within obvious things we just have to open our eyes to see it, and we may not understand it completely, but we can apply it once we’re wise to it.

Watched a couple of different movies last night that had me thinking. There’s a few that I connect biblical references to but haven’t talked about them much. We aren’t superheroes, we’re not here to save the world, but we can overcome as much evil as possible with the good.

A neighbor pulled up blowing their horn so I had to cut it quicker than I meant to haha! I said something about being ungrateful and it sounded like I was talking about present tense.. but I am so grateful nowadays! Life be life’n but I know that I’m not alone with anything that comes my way. I want to encourage others who may feel that they are alone because sometimes our “feelings” can cause us to be blind to things right in front of our face.

The sermon today was about permission to rejoice, so I started thinking about the permission that we have for everything in our lives. How do we use it?