Joy@Work Podcast

I've been prompted this week in my own development about setting goals rather than drifting along and hoping for the best and I wanted to share this with you. When I was a very young kid, I remember that we had an old black Austin Wolseley. I remember the leather seats and the 'horse' in the back - which is where I would sit. My sister and brother to either side of me and mum and dad in the front.
On occasional Sunday's when dad wasn't preaching or we weren't going to Grandma's, we would be treated to a Sunday drive. [player] One particular time, we went to Redhill in Kent, southern England. This was long before the M25 motorway went past this particular spot and we parked the old Wolseley at the top of the hill, unloaded the picnic blanket and the basket of treats.

I rolled down the hill with my siblings and had to be carried back up exhausted. It was a beautiful sunny autumn day and life was good. Those Sunday's were special.
We never knew where we would end up. Finding new places to enjoy. Those Sunday drives became less frequent as I grew older. By the time I was around 11, they stopped altogether. And I missed those Sunday drives. I wanted to spend the day drifting around and stumbling across some beautiful corner of England. A day when I could drift along and be taken for a journey somewhere and just enjoy myself.
I've met a lot of people who live a Sunday Drive kind of life.
They're drifting along being carried by the current and the winds of life. Sometimes they enjoy it, but most days they moan about the place they’ve ended up. And of course, it's not their responsibility to take themselves somewhere more exciting. No that's what somebody else "should" be doing for them.
Now, I'm no botanist, but in my experience, when a plant is not growing, it's dying. If you don’t water or feed your plants, or tend the garden for weeds and pests, then your plants will wither and die.
I've found the same happens to the lives of people. When we don’t feed and water our own growth and take responsibility for tending our life for choking weeds and pests, we too will begin to die. A little at a time. My ability and character as a leader similarly needs to continuously grow and mature, be fed and nourished, weeded and cleaned of pests and problems.
Of course, there's the fear that if I grow too fast and too big, well I'll just be the tall poppy and as my peers try desperately to bring me down, and my bosses chop my head off first because I'm too visible.
So I'll just keep my head down and not bother growing.
Imagine what it takes to plan a journey from Singapore to Bintan. I know that Bintan is a little south of Singapore, I know that there are ferry services to get there, so I'll just head to the coast, find the first ferry heading south and get on board." That would be crazy right? No, first you'll fire up Google and search for the right ferry, choose which service, what time, get a ticket, and so on and so forth. It takes a little planning. Every journey can be broken down into manageable steps or goals.
These act as milestones along the way to make sure we're still headed in the right direction, making good and timely progress. Any journey worth taking requires a little effort to plan and prepare.
Your journey to leadership success is no different. Each goal is a milestone on your journey indicating your progress and providing direction to the next goal. And if you go off track, you can easily get back on track.
So where would you like your leadership ability and character to be a month from now?
 INFLUENCE WITHOUT AUTHORITY Be first to know... Click here

When I started my first degree at university, I knew I had to get myself a car. Until this point, a motorbike had served me well, but I was going to university in Manchester, England, 200 miles from my job and my girlfriend.
I spotted an advert in the local paper from a local used car dealership offering a "Reliable, one careful owner, full service history, Austin 1100 in British Racing Green." It was old but almost in my price range. The dealer was friendly, kind and helpful. He took me out for a test drive and assured me that the car was an absolute bargain. He told me how thrilled he had been from the response to the advert and even forewarned me that someone else had called just before I arrived and they wanted to buy the car too. [player]
The dealer was friendly, kind and helpful. He took me out for a test drive and assured me that the car was an absolute bargain. He told me how thrilled he had been from the response to the advert and even forewarned me that someone else had called just before I arrived and they wanted to buy the car too. 
Does it matter whether I influence or persuade or manipulate, so long as I get the right result?
Does it matter whether I influence or persuade or manipulate, so long as I get the right result?
He shared a story about his own Austin 1100 that had been such a reliable little runner. Cheap to maintain and would quite happily trot up and down the motorway regularly. On top of that, it was cheap to insure and easy to get parts "should anything ever go wrong with it."
I asked if he could knock a few quid off the price because I was a little short. He tried to get his boss to help, but there was sadly now way. I borrowed the difference from my best friend and I was thrilled to head off that very afternoon down south and was a little surprised as I hauled past Oxford and an orange light appeared on the dashboard.
Does it matter whether I influence or persuade or manipulate, so long as I get the right result?He shared a story about his own Austin 1100 that had been such a reliable little runner. Cheap to maintain and would quite happily trot up and down the motorway regularly. On top of that, it was cheap to insure and easy to get parts "should anything ever go wrong with it." I asked if he could knock a few quid off the price because I was a little short. He tried to get his boss to help, but there was sadly now way.
I borrowed the difference from my best friend and I was thrilled to head off that very afternoon down south and was a little surprised as I hauled past Oxford and an orange light appeared on the dashboard.
He shared a story about his own Austin 1100 that had been such a reliable little runner. Cheap to maintain and would quite happily trot up and down the motorway regularly. On top of that, it was cheap to insure and easy to get parts "should anything ever go wrong with it." I asked if he could knock a few quid off the price because I was a little short. He tried to get his boss to help, but there was sadly now way. I borrowed the difference from my best friend and I was thrilled to head off that very afternoon down south and was a little surprised as I hauled past Oxford and an orange light appeared on the dashboard.
I had bought a lemon.
So why had I, an educated, not completely dim, and otherwise quite sensible person been duped into buying something?
Are we influenced when we are duped?
Yes we are. You'll remember from the Triangle of Influence that we are influenced when someone connects a desired result in such a way that the benefit outweighs our cost resulting in motivation. Influence is often considered to be a positive thing. But it has some closely related cousins known as:
Persuasion
Manipulation, and
Coercion
Persuasion is still considered OK, but to have been influenced rather than persuaded would be better. To have been forced or threatened into doing something is particularly unpleasant, while being manipulated to do the very same thing is regarded as wrong.
How d

Anxiety is, for many people, most prevalent when you have a need to perform in front of others. Whether you are speaking to thousands in an arena or having a private conversation with your boss. Unfortunately, your anxiety means that you perform less well than you could.
So how do you control those feelings? You may be surprised that most professional trainers and speakers and performers (actors, singers, musicians) have those same feelings of anxiety. So how do they deal wit them?
This week I'm sharing four simple brain hacks, and I really do mean simple, to overcome performance anxiety. Visit my Your Brain on Stress and Anxiety video on YouTube
I've been prompted in part, because of the responses I have been receiving about a little video I made just over a year ago now.
It's entitled Your Brain on Stress and Anxiety, and it's garnered just shy of a hundred thousand views on YouTube alone now. Which is incredibly humbling, but also a little concerning. Humbling because it makes me somewhat proud that a little whiteboard video I drew and produced has been watched quite so many times just on YouTube. But it has also been a little disturbing. If you read some of the publically visible comments, you'll get an idea of the types of questions I've been getting over the past year from those who are suffering from stress and anxiety. Some very serious stress and anxiety as well.
So, a quick caveat if I may. I am not a medical doctor and, if you are suffering from long-term stress or anxiety, please do seek professional help. The four simple ways I am sharing today will help anyone with any degree of stress and anxiety, but I am focused more on people in business or work who suffer stress and anxiety because they are about to perform in front of others. That does not mean that these simple ways won’t help whenever you feel anxious, they will. So use them. And if you have yet to watch my little video, you should do so now or later, and whilst you're over at YouTube, subscribe to my channel as well and do please share with at least 3 people you know will benefit from learning there.
The four simple ways I am sharing today will help anyone with any degree of stress and anxiety, but I am focused more on people in business or work who suffer stress and anxiety because they are about to perform in front of others. That does not mean that these simple ways won’t help whenever you feel anxious, they will. So use them. And if you have yet to watch my little video, you should do so now or later, and whilst you're over at YouTube, subscribe to my channel as well and do please share with at least 3 people you know will benefit from learning there.
Back to today. 4 Simple brain hacks to overcome performance anxiety…. But before I begin on how we overcome performance anxiety, let us understand just what is happening when we get anxious. 
But before I begin on how we overcome performance anxiety, let us understand just what is happening when we get anxious. 
I was just seven years old when I first experienced acute stage fright.
I was due on stage to sing (in my beautiful soprano) in the finals of an inter-church competition. But the room was just so huge. There were more than a thousand people out there. And this was the finals. Something I’d been preparing for and practicing all year. But this song was difficult and required that I hit the high notes perfectly. I froze at the side of the stage. It was as if my shoes had been glued to the floor. My thin shirt was soaking with sweat at the armpits, and I began to shake. My singing coach (aka church choir master) came over and urged me on stage. I got out there and stood, like a rabbit caught in the headlights. I kept my head down and made myself as small as I could, so they couldn’t see me and then the pianist started the piece. The first bars repeated five times as I desperately tried to start singing. Not a chance. I turned and ran from the stage and burst into tears. "It's just stage fright," th

When you aim for the right target, your goal becomes more possible
 You already know that you need to have a clear goal in your personal development as a leader.
Without a goal, you don't know where you are going. And that's exactly where you will end up... drifting somewhere... maybe it'll be great, maybe it'll be a waste of your time. Here are the seven steps to your new leadership development goal:
https://youtu.be/APVrdQo_wQY
Who is in your Inner Circle?
The people closest to you can raise you up or tear you down. Take a long hard look at those who are in your inner circle and fill it, if necessary with people who build you up.

Develop SMART goals in each area of your life.
Know specifically what your goal is, know how you will measure it, make sure that you can attain it (with the help of your inner circle). Make sure your goal is realistic (if someone else has done it, it is!) And put your stake in the ground for time. When will you achieve this goal? Can it change, sure it can... you can move the goal posts any time you like.

Breakdown your bigger, longer term goals into smaller, shorter term chunks.
Any goal worth having is going to take time to reach. Breaking it down into smaller steps makes it much more manageable. I recommend that you "think week' - after all you can pretty well predict a week ahead. But a month... that's tough, all sorts of things could happen in a month. For example, establish steps that you will have completed by Friday each week (time to celebrate at the weekend!)

Work with an accountability partner. Check with your inner circle regularly to review your progress.
Wouldn't it be nice if you could trust yourself to have the self-discipline to do this alone? Sure... but believe me, you wouldn't be reading this if you were that self-disciplined. Work with someone in your inner circle who will support you, cajole you, nag you... whatever it takes. You already know what works for you, so invite them to do so and return the favour.

Celebrate your conquering of each milestone.
Don't wait till the end result. Constantly promising yourself that one day you will celebrate. No, choose to celebrate every milestone. My wife and I have a stupid little dance we do... in private I might add because it really isn't something you would like to see... but we have fun and it's our shared symbol of an achievement worth celebrating.

When you reach the goal, choose to stretch yourself to new heights.
So you've developed yourself well and achieved the goal you set. Well that just proves that you are a lot more capable than even you thought. Now let's raise your game and set new standards to achieve.

Remember - leadership develops daily, not in a day. Keep on keeping on.
It won't happen tomorrow. You don't absorb new competencies or character traits by simply exposing yourself to them. No, you need to put your development into practice each and every day. Repeat what works, learn from what doesn't. Adapt, change and keep on keeping on. Eventually, it'll come 'naturally' and you may even forget that previously you weren't this good.

No-one, who ever achieved anything great truly, did it alone. Build you inner circle, set clear SMART goals and plan each of the smaller steps necessary to achieve them - this is all part of successful personal development. I look forward to hearing about your celebrations.
Which of the 7 steps do you do best and which worst?

All will be well in the morning
My mum would often tell me "all will be well in the morning." For her, it was just experience and age-old wisdom. All will be well in the morning And things always were better in the morning.
Somehow, all the clutter and stress and worry, while, not gone altogether, was, at least more manageable. As I slept, my brain was free to sort through the problem, process it entirely and put it in a suitable place close to a similar experience in memory. I had learned how to resolve whatever the issue was.
More often than not, it didn't even need addressing anyway.
How taking a break improves future learning
It's akin to my mum's advice to "sleep on the problem" so that your memories can be reprocessed, consolidate and shaped for better (faster) retrieval.
Taking a learning break gives your brain time and space to reprocess.
A paper published in Psychological Science in the Public Interest has evaluated ten techniques for improving learning, ranging from mnemonics to highlighting and shows that taking a break in learning (or 'Distributed Practice' to give a scientific title) is more effective thanany of the other nine techniques usually believed to be better. And now there's compelling new evidence from the University of Texas at Austin, recently published in the National Academy of Sciences: that supports the idea that study breaks improve later learning.
When we take a break from learning, our brain can process all the information. 
But how much is the right amount for studying and how long for a break?
I've been researching this for some time now and unsurprisingly; the results are inconclusive. However, there does appear to be a general reduction in the active learning time for younger people.
Typically, I have found that Baby Boomers study well and learn well over a 25 minute period of almost continuous study. That is; they needed a learning consolidation break at 25 minutes. Needing a 15-minute break.
Gen X'ers around 20 minutes. Needing an average 13-minute break)
Gen Y drops to about 12 minutes with a 6-minute break and then:
Gen iY (the iPad generation) around 4 minutes (yeap, just four minutes) with a 2-minute break.All of this in non-academic learning situations, by the way. Tested for learning retention 24 hours after the learning event and 21 days later.
All of this in non-academic learning situations, by the way. Tested for learning retention 24 hours after the learning event and 21 days later. But within every group there was a range, and it would change for an individual dependent on the mode of learning. That is, was the learning in a form that they preferred (reading, video, audio, kinesthetic, etc.). Sadly (from an academic point of view) even so-called learning preferences wasn't a statistically significant factor.
Our brain needs a break
When we take a break from learning, our brain can process all the information. When we are learning anything, our pre-frontal cortex (PFC) is burning a lot of energy as we evaluate the information, process it and check it against working memory. Then the new information is processed, consolidated, and linked to appropriate other memories and emotions... but for this to be held in longer term memory, it appears that the PFC needs to be less active. Perhaps because the PFC is such an energy hog, and we simply need to switch our energy resources to consolidate memories (learn).
So can't we just take a pill and learn better and faster?
To a certain extent, we can. Glucose and oxygen - the fuel we need to burn to learn. (Caffeine can assist as well if recent research is correct.)So taking a moment, munching on candy, taking deep breaths and sipping that cup of coffee all help us learn... oh, I've just described a break So taking a moment, munching on candy, taking deep breaths and sipping that cup of coffee all help us learn... oh, I've just described a break.
Better still, as my dear mum would say, "sleep on it, all will be better in the morning."

The day the CEO learned the importance of empathy
"Some people are just more naturally empathic than others" the CEO brusquely informed me.
"It's not personal, it's business" he went on quoting that bundle of joy Donald Trump.
"They should know what's good for them, and do what I suggest. Why should I have to influence them or show empathy?"
The CEO pushed back his chair as if our session were over. His company was struggling. Several key staff had recently departed and were working for a competitor. He still insisted that empathy was not something he needed to do, and he was perfectly capable of influencing his team. It was they who needed to change, not him.
You've met someone like this I'm sure. And you're wondering how I'm going to suggest that they change right? But no, there is a twist here.
How do you influence them to have more empathy and more easily influence others?
You see, it's terrific to have someone like that CEO in your life. You are not like him. You care. You show a genuine concern, and there are only a few people who, well, they simply don't deserve your love and respect.
How do you show empathy for someone and influence them when they don't "do" empathy? Especially when you know that they really need to "do" empathy so that they can be a better
Especially when you know that they really need to "do" empathy so that they can be a better influencer. You’ll recall from the triangle of influence that in order to influence someone, we need to link what we want them to do to the resources it will cost them and the benefits that they will gain for themselves by doing it. (If you need a reminder about the triangle of influence, I’d suggest you jump over there now and come back afterwards.) 
 I Colour I Listen - Developing Active Listening Skills and Empathy
Download the Be a Better Influencer PDF
Download the Be a Better Influencer MP3 audio
Download the I Colour I Listen Template
Empathy develops Trust. And Trust enables us to Influence others. When we Influence others, we lead them.
For the influencer, we are left with a causal chain:
Without empathy how will you know what is important for them?
Without you showing empathy, how am I going to trust you?
If I don’t trust you, how are you going to influence me?
If you don’t influence me, how are you going to lead me?
To be a better influencer, we really need to know how to have and show empathy.
I wrote a short while back about the usefulness of empathy and how it differs from sympathy. The difference is huge. Sympathy is passive; empathy is active. (Pop over to that article if you need a refresher.
It does a great job of describing the difference—and how empathy fuels connection while sympathy drives disconnection.) In short, if I am to influence someone, they need to have some level of trust in me.
To trust me, I will need to have, and have shown, empathy with them. That is, I need to identify with them. Let us first consider how we can have and show empathy with someone. Then how we build trust with that person, and lastly, how we can use this to be a better influencer.
But before that, let me share the dictionary definition of empathy so that we agree on what it is:
em•pa•thy
"the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another." Dictionary.com
Imagine for a moment that I am sitting opposite you and what I am about to share with you is both critically important and valuable for you. You sit up a little taller, lean your head forward and focus your eyes on me. You carefully watch every nuance of expression, listening attentively to every word. Nodding appropriately as you take in and understand each point I make.
Bring to mind two people in your life that you have known for some time.
The first person is someone with whom you have a good, strong and close relationship. You trust them to be in your corner, to support you and, they understand you well.
The second individual is someone with whom you hav

"And what do you do?"
How many times have you been asked this question? How many times have you asked it? My guess is more than once or twice. We all play a number of different roles. Some are well developed, others less so. Using the right role in relation to another is critical for healthy relationships and better leadership.[/caption] When answering this question, most people respond with their job title or their job function: I'm a banker, I'm the CEO, I'm a teacher. Or they launch into their 'elevator pitch'. We define ourselves often by the major role we play in life. And you know that you are much more than your job: I'm a CEO, husband, lover, uncle, child, brother, skier, scuba diver, teacher, sleeper, trainer, coach, friend, driver, passenger, dog-walker, saxophonist, cook, customer,
We all play a number of different roles. Some are well developed, others less so. Using the right role in relation to another is critical for healthy relationships and better leadership.When answering this question, most people respond with their job title or their job function: I'm a banker, I'm the CEO, I'm a teacher. Or they launch into their 'elevator pitch'. We define ourselves often by the major role we play in life. And you know that you are much more than your job: I'm a CEO, husband, lover, uncle, child, brother, skier, scuba diver, teacher, sleeper, trainer, coach, friend, driver, passenger, dog-walker, saxophonist, cook, customer,
When answering this question, most people respond with their job title or their job function: I'm a banker, I'm the CEO, I'm a teacher. Or they launch into their 'elevator pitch'. We define ourselves often by the major role we play in life. And you know that you are much more than your job: I'm a CEO, husband, lover, uncle, child, brother, skier, scuba diver, teacher, sleeper, trainer, coach, friend, driver, passenger, dog-walker, saxophonist, cook, customer,
We define ourselves often by the major role we play in life. And you know that you are much more than your job: I'm a CEO, husband, lover, uncle, child, brother, skier, scuba diver, teacher, sleeper, trainer, coach, friend, driver, passenger, dog-walker, saxophonist, cook, customer, eater, cleaner, golfer, author, writer, musician, listener, talker, leader, manager, accountant, salesman, communicator, website builder... and that's just the more positive ones today. Am I good at all these? Not all, and not always. There are days when my golf, for example, is fluent and near perfect; today was not one of those days. Today, I was a "shank it in the water, find every bunker, slice it out of bounds" golfer.
Am I good at all these? Not all, and not always. There are days when my golf, for example, is fluent and near perfect; today was not one of those days. Today, I was a "shank it in the water, find every bunker, slice it out of bounds" golfer.
There are days when my golf, for example, is fluent and near perfect; today was not one of those days. Today, I was a "shank it in the water, find every bunker, slice it out of bounds" golfer.
Read the rest of the article on the website here.

“Why aren’t these “young people” stepping up to the mark?” Asked the C-level executive as we discussed the problems of talent management and leadership succession. As if it’s a problem of the younger generation – most notably Gen Y. But it’s not a generational issue! Performance in the typical workplace is at least 20% lower than it could easily be. The information in this podcast is critical to your well-being, your success, your business and your health but you will probably not make it to the end, at least not without interruptions and multiple distractions.
You’re wasting your budget on talent management and development if you don’t get a few other things fixed first!
Brought to you by CELSIM and emPowered by GAPPS5While reading, you will receive at least 5-15 emails, one or two phone calls, 3-25 instant or text messages and a colleague or two may pop-by for a 'quick' chat. You may visit a Web site and get distracted though I do promise to keep this interesting enough so you come back.
You could easily raise performance by 20% with a few simple tweaks to your environment. Click the image for a full-size version.
Visit the website for the full (downloadable) article and images.

I walked to the front of the meeting room past my muttering colleagues.
My hands clammy, my shirt beginning to soak with perspiration in the air conditioned room. Blinded momentarily by the projector, I faced my audience. Their faces raptly attentive as they waited for the first words to come. I noticed my boss as he glanced at his watch. A phone buzzed in silent mode on the table and all eyes were drawn toward it. Someone muttered an apology as he picked up the errant phone and read the message. I had spent weeks preparing for this meeting. We were about to introduce a new computer system across the entire business and everyone in the room would be
Blinded momentarily by the projector, I faced my audience. Their faces raptly attentive as they waited for the first words to come. I noticed my boss as he glanced at his watch. A phone buzzed in silent mode on the table and all eyes were drawn toward it. Someone muttered an apology as he picked up the errant phone and read the message. I had spent weeks preparing for this meeting. We were about to introduce a new computer system across the entire business and everyone in the room would be
I noticed my boss as he glanced at his watch. A phone buzzed in silent mode on the table and all eyes were drawn toward it. Someone muttered an apology as he picked up the errant phone and read the message. I had spent weeks preparing for this meeting. We were about to introduce a new computer system across the entire business and everyone in the room would be
I had spent weeks preparing for this meeting. We were about to introduce a new computer system across the entire business and everyone in the room would be affected. Nobody wanted the new system. I stumbled through my slides, gave them all the facts and outlined the plan. Still nobody wanted the new system.
Nobody wanted the new system. I stumbled through my slides, gave them all the facts and outlined the plan. Still nobody wanted the new system.
I had failed to influence my colleagues to support the project.
So why had my long-prepared presentation failed to achieve the intended result?   When we link the required resources to the goal through personal benefit - we create motivation to change. That is, we influence the person to change.
The answer lies in the Triangle of Influence
When we are influenced to do something, we connect three things inside the brain:
The goal we will achieve
The resources achieving the goal costs, and
The personal benefits that we get out of achieving the goal.
When we believe that we have more value in the benefit than the cost, we will be motivated to act on achieving the goal. But if we believe that the cost outweighs the benefit, we will not be motivated to act.
[player]
Download the Triangle of Influence PDF
Download the Triangle of Influence audio
Everyone has influence!
We all have the power to affect another person. The very definition of influence. But do you have the necessary power to affect the people you need to influence? When I was presenting to my colleagues in an attempt to influence them to support my project I neglected a few critical points. In particular:
The objective of the project was not as clear for them as it needed to be.
I couldn't really explain the cost to them, nor
What was in it for them, personally.
Not surprising then that they weren't motivated to action. People are influenced when they link a clear action (goal) with the PERSONAL benefits that they will gain that are greater than the cost to them of undertaking the action in their mind. It is critical that we realise that people are influenced when THEY make the link.
Influence to act = PERSONAL Benefits > PERSONAL costs
Surely it cannot be this simple?
Well it can. But importantly, simple does not mean easy. If we wish to influence another person to undertake a particular action, to be certain that we motivate them to action, we need to know:
What they PERCEIVE to be the personal benefits
What value they place on those bene