If investing your hard-earned pineapples into the ASX seems riskier than throwing them out the window and hoping they'll blow back in, then listen up, rookie. Investing in shares can seem intimidating, but it doesn't have to be. Claire Hooper finds out what the Wolves of Wall Street know that we don't. From how to get started, to how to tell your dividends from your DOW Jones, it's the complete beginners guide to the sharemarket.