Just Be Cousins

The apocalypse is nigh. That’s means it’s close. When the brown stuff hits the blowy thing, what will you do? Who will you be? Will you be a survivor, or survivor food? Will you have a can opener? Because if you don’t have a can opener, let’s face it: you’re intercoursed. Tune in for tips and tricks. Or trips and ticks. Or whatever. No you shut up.

ʻO kā mākou huakaʻi hele. ʻO ka hapalua o nā poʻe holo me nā fam i Hawaii, e noho ana ma ka mokuʻo Maui. E hele mai inā hoʻoloheʻoe i ka hanaʻino i ka’ōlelo.

Halloween is here! Woohoo! Special guest and friend of the show “Uncomfortable Coffin Pillow” Shags joins the Js to talk about: senility, forests, Hawaii, and other scary stuff. Just like the last time we did a Halloween episode. A few TV shows and movies are mentioned. And so is Carla Giganadindo. Boom, mother fu**ers.

Keeping the ol’ No-Topic-Tober ball rolling by having no theme in this episode, which means we end up talking about everything. Bloody movies, ASMR, trypophobia, fast food, sex workers, shakes, frottage and getting on a health punt. There’s an argument for cancellation, and it is filthy. Enjoy.

TBH, we’re so woke on this shooketh lit episode, bruh. We talk about poop, a sick Ozzy Ozbourne, lesbian PE teachers, homecoming, and the effects that Annie Lennox has on Joe’s dog, Jesus Barking Christ. This is a no-topic-tober episode, obviously, but Fun-Times Shags special guests so it is 100 percent worth listening to. She is very on fleek.

This is supposed to be an episode about Podcasts and it sort of is because basically whenever we realize we’re off target we just say “I wonder if there’s a podcast about…” etc. Easy.

The Welcome to Autumn Episode, where we meander from topic to topic, from Mr. Roarke to the equinox, leaves, being your authentic self, scary-ass scare crows, and the like. We donkey dick the top 40, fart a few speeches, and in general, make you suffer through our sobriety. Because if space clowns can write songs about their junk, why can’t we make a podcast that you feel in your plums.

Yeah, so, this is health part 2. The thing is, I’m really too drunk to write up this synopsis. Sorry. Double Barrel Daryl (sp) special guests (verb) as we talk about: smoking, drinking, diabetes, hospitals, doctors, and other health stuff. Look, I don’t know if any of that is true, but I just projectile vomited all over my computer screen, so listen to the show and deal with it.

This is the health episode. You know how puking can be healthy if you’re sick? Yeah, this episode is us getting  healthy. Not for the weak of stomach. Unless you want to have your stomach reject everything inside it when you hear this episode. Alcohol is involved.

Sorry folks, my fault, late episode, more on Monday, I promise. Anyways. Forests, fried chicken, Stompy the bear, going solo on a Taco Bell (not a euphemism). What do they all have in common? Listen and see. Wait. Listen and hear. No, that sounds wrong too. Listen and find out. Ha. Nailed it. FANTASTIC.