Just Look At The Flowers: LIW The Walking Dead Review

Daniel is back and sexier than ever. He meets Jesus, confesses his sins, is forgiven and then god saves his life via lightening. It's all very biblical and unnecessary. Regardless, this episode is Phoenix's favorite episode of the series so far. This episode also doesn't feature a single member of the Clark family. Coincidence? Nope.

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This episode is super awkward followed by super awesome. Starts off with a great VHS training video in the vein of American't 6: Customer Service. Go watch that on our YouTube page. Seriously. Go. Anyway, Madison sucks. Alicia sucks. Nick is awesome. Travis is still dead. Sons Of Anarchy guy is a mystery. The Following kid is an awesome pussy. His brother is a lovable psychopath. Oh, there is a head in a cage in a bucket that can somehow make noises despite not having vocal chords. Who knows. It's just whatever you want with zombies.

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During this opening sentence, several characters on popular shows have died. This episode is strange. Shocking beginning. Incest in the center. Boring conversations at the end. Want to hold a folder for a few seconds? Okay I'll take it back now. Thanks for holding it. I don't get it. Everyone on this show seems so mysterious and weird. Not sure this show is worth watching anymore. Not sure...

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The Clark family is back and ready for more zombie killing family fun! This episode was such a letdown for a season premiere. Seriously. Who loves bottle episodes? Just sad TV watching alcoholics? That can't be true because Phoenix didn't really care for this episode. He was even admittedly drunk during this review. There is an easter egg in this one. Find it and enjoy if you can.

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It's over! It's finally over! What percentage of the plotlines were resolved in this season finale? 9%? Maybe. Here's an honest question, wouldn't the Sasha flashback scenes with Abraham mean more to you if they did it with Maggie and Glenn instead? Especially considering the entire ending was Maggie talking about Glenn's sacrifices. Just a thought. Anyway, I'll see you next season. I'll be the guy describing the boring plot into a microphone.

This episode did the cross-cutting style of writing-editing correctly. The rest of the season did not. The problem is that this episode should have happened 7 episodes ago. It is simply too late for any of this to feel like the second to last episode of the season. Negan is in it... so there's that. He has 1 scene with 3 minutes of screen time. I guess that will have to do... I'll take what I can get at this point.

Sasha and Rosita get their own comedy spin-off episode! Or something like that. You know how Negan is the main villain that the entire plot is currently revolving around? Right? Right. Let's show that character for 8 1/2 silent seconds. Literally not one word of audible dialogue. That's a great way to build up hatred for your important villain. He's so evil!....probably. Who here would watch an all-Negan spin-off if they made it? I know I would. (AMC...send me a check now.)

This episode is strange. Impressions galore. Bad ones of course. The Walking Dead is in a bad state when Morgan and The Kingdom breathe life into the show. No CGI deer in this episode but there is a CGI animal still. No, not the lion, but the terrible actress that talks to Ezekiel about plants. She isn't real.

This episode isn't worth writing anything of value here. So intead I'll use this space to recommend good recent small movies. It Follows. Green Room. Creep. I Don't Feel At Home In This World Anymore. Filth. Charlie Countryman. Dom Hemingway. Krisha. The Good Neighbor. I Am Not A Serial Killer. Don't Breathe. The End of The Tour. Swiss Army Man. Horns. Cop Car. What We Do In The Shadows. The Trust.

Finally! We got an all Eugene episode! He's everyone's favorite character, right? Right? Right! Well you're watching him anyway. This episode did not need to happen. At all. The Dwight stuff was good but the rest is just unnecessary.