In today’s episode, I’ll be exploring how ADHD affects your friendships, with blogger and activist, Kate Everall. 

Friendship is the one area I really grieved when going through the diagnosis process - it was like holding up a mirror to how I’ve behaved in so many friendships which was really hard to accept. Friendships can be addled by several of the traits common in ADHD - the missing of social cues, rejection sensitivity disorder, a sense of overwhelm that can see you retreat quickly from people, the abruptness, lack of filter, mood swings, impulsive behaviours, hyperactivity – there’s a lot for you to contend with, but also a lot for a friend to manage or forgive. And then there’s the challenge of making new friends when you’re either a massive oversharer or incredibly shy and tongue-tied, depending on the day.

Kate Everall started the LesbeMums blog with her wife, Sharon in 2012 to document the journey to the conception of their little boy. Kate and Sharon’s blog has changed the game in terms of usualising two-mum families, as they continue to document their lives and travels with little T. Kate is currently exploring her own neurodivergence and is in the process of seeking a formal diagnosis.

Kate shares how challenging she has found the business of making friends and how sensory overwhelm can be the undoing of so many social exchanges. We discuss our shared habit of oversharing to establish connections with new people and what happens now we’re aware of how this tracks. We also talk about how we’ve both lost friends over the years, the conflict of wanting to feel included but so often needing to RSVP ‘no’, and how we turn to other neurodivergent people in building our own communities.

Kate also reveals how self-sabotage has held her back, how frustrating it can be to have a brain that can only accommodate a certain number of friendships, and how vital it is to be fluid in friendships. 

Kate’s Instagram: @LesBeMums

Kate's website: lesbemums.com 

Dr Mohamed Abdelghani is a consultant psychiatrist who specialises in mood disorders and adult ADHD. www.Dyad-medical.com 

Please note, your first port of call if you think you might have ADHD should be your GP. In the meantime, you can find more information here: 

Understanding ADHD in Girls and Women, by Joanne Steer

The ADHD Foundation 

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