Keep It Simple Boston

This or that with chief Bobby (10min)

Gucci mane or wakka flakka 

Be chased by a snail that will eventually kill you…or forget why it’s chasing you every 10 minutes?

Have a rewind button or pause button for life ? 

Kielbasa sausage or Italian sausage? 

Make a successful show based on your life or a movie ? 

Have to drink 10 coffee a day or drink 10 beers ? 

Simplest Minds of THE WEEK 5-10min

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10 Questions from a guy named Rob (10 minutes )

1. Pats announced for the 2027 season of hard knocks.  Good or bad ? 

2.  Have you seen any of the ncaa tourney ? 

3.  Thoughts on the wnba labor deal ? 

4. Why is OBJ still in the news ? 

5.  What the hell are the Steelers doing at QB ? 

6.  The NFL could be hiring hew refs will this change anything ? 

7. Tigers woods gets drunk and flips his again.  What’s up with that ? 

8. Is F1 a thing now ? 

9. 18 game nfl regular season in the news cycle yea or neah ? 

10.  

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Patriots Quick Hits

-Mike Vrabel wants to see the Patriots pick up Christian Gonzalez's fifth-year option ASAP (musket fire Sarah Marshall) how important is Gonzalez to this team?

-don’t know if you saw that Gonzalez was at the Celtics game over the weekend and when they panned to him he made the money gesture, I fucking hate that. 

You can’t have this guy hold out after what you built last offseason and currently this season. 

Other quick hits 

Won’t dive in to it to much but patriots are the featured team for hard knocks in 2027 

Robert Kraft was in the news talking about how he’s for 18 games, get rid of 1 of the preseasons and then having every team going over seas for 1 game and then having 2 byes making the season 20 weeks. Thoughts on this are you for all or this or against all of it. 

Draft is less than a month away, will the patriots keep their first round pick or do they trade it away to Philly for aj brown?

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The Boston Red Sox B-L-O-W (15 min)

The Boston Red Sox are 1-4. The one bright spot is Garrett Crochet who looked amazing on opening day. Other than that this team Blows, Bobby. 

They are in the bottom half of every statistical category - pic 

The guy you let walk because you didn’t want to wave his no trade clause is batting .235 Alex Bregman

The other guy you traded away is batting .214 Rafael Devers

The bum you replaced both of them for has as many hits as Bobby and I do this season ZERO! Caleb Durbin is what

You get when you go to Wal mart and see that cheap dvd in the bin for 99 cents and think hey why not and start watching it and 5 minutes in say this thing sucks. That is what Caleb Durbin is. 

Reality is that yes it’s only 5 games in, we are still in March. Bobby any bright spots you see? (Garrett Crochet and Connelly Early are the only right answers)

 Bad spot Jarren Duran is struggling batting .154 with 4 strikeouts, should have dealt him while you could have with that log jam in the outfield. 

Wilyer Abreu is smashing the ball. 2 home runs (Trevor story the only other player with a homer this season)

Opening day for Fenway is Friday if the Sox go down early I think the fans will be ruthless with the boos. Fans are upset about the product, fans are upset about the team not spending in the offseason, fans are upset about Nesn plus. Fans are not happy, will ownership take notice?

If they limp in to Fenway park with only 2 wins and only take 1 of 3 from the padres should this team hit the panic button?

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In What Was Said To Be A Gap Year, The Celtics Have Achieved One Of Thier Best Seasons Yet, Who Gets The Credit? 

-50 wins for the 4th year in a row, another playoff spot secured, 4th in a row, and Joe Mazzulla is in the running for coach of the year - Bobby the floor is yours on why none of the credit should go to Joe Mazzulla

-Celtics lose to the hawks 112-102 in a sloppy 2nd half with no Tatum. The hawks are a playoff team. Do we read in to this more that they have a hard time with good competition?

-Celtics have 7 games left in the regular season. Sit in the 2 spot for now. 4 games behind for the 1 seed and if they struggle against good teams the last 7 should be a test for them. 

Heat 9th spot

Bucks 

Raptors 5th spot

Hornets 10th spot

Knicks 3rd spot

Pelicans

Magic 8th spot

5 out of the 7 games left teams are in or fighting to stay in contention of the play offs. True test before playoffs 

Going back to the hornets game the last game that Tatum played and he looked like his old self 32/5/8 can he consistently put up numbers in a 7 game series?

With Cade Cunningham out and the pistons fizzling, are the Knicks the only true test to stop the Celtics from getting to a finals? 

HEADLINES with THE OBVIOUS ONE

Thank you there Richard, 

Celtics lose to the hawks 112-102 in a Tatum less game. JB led the Celtics in a losing effort. Next up, the Celtics travel to south beach to take on the heat Wednesday night at 7

As of this writing the Red Sox have only won one game this season, after losing the series in Cincinnati they traveled south to start a series with the Astros and lost 8-1. Garrett crochet goes tonight to hopefully pick up his second win of the season. 

8 games left for the bruins who are still the 1st wildcard team in the east, they look to stay in the hunt as the host the stars Tuesday night at 7pm

This has been headlines with the obvious one 

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SIMPLEST MINDS OF THE WEEK

Sk8er Boy

Stupid bike guy

Dog Lady

Coyote Dumbass

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THIS OR THAT

Be able to dunk a basketball or hit dingers ? 

Green beans or asparagus?  

Walk the countryside spreading your “seed” like Johnny Appleseed or ride dirty all day repping g unit smoking some weed ?  

Be able to teleport or be able to be invisible? 

Have to turn a straight man gay or a lesbian straight ? 

Can never drink beer again or never watch sports again ? 

Have a tribe of un contacted natives move it next door or have to teach them to forget their heathen ways ? 

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Patriots tidbits

Dobbs cut – Devito #2

Schefter says New England is the only logical spot for AJ Brown after June 1

"There aren't that many teams out there, right now, that could and would make an A.J. Brown trade work," said Schefter, who reiterated the Eagles prefer to trade Brown after June 1 due to financial concerns. "I mean, how many realistic landing spots are there for him right now? To me, New England would be logical.

" ... Of all the teams out there, the Patriots are by far the most likely landing spot, and the team that would express the most interest and have the greatest need. But that doesn't mean it's going to get done."

OT – James Hudson signed. Swing depth tackle.  Vet minimum. Worked with Vrabel in Cleveland

Zachary Pereles of CBS Sports

If the Patriots really want to add some pass-rushing firepower, though, they could find many options.

“Clowney continues to play both the run and the pass at a high level.”

Clowney turned 33 years old in February. But he is still a strong free agency option for teams searching for an edge rusher.

Last season with the Dallas Cowboys, Clowney posted 8.5 sacks with 12 tackles for loss and 10 quarterback hits. He also registered those statistics in just 13 games.

According to a report by Henry McKenna of Fox Sports, the Patriots and Gonzalez entered “preliminary conversations” about a contract extension at last month’s Scouting Combine in Indianapolis.

 the expectation is that he will become the highest-paid cornerback in the NFL once a deal is done. That title currently belongs to Trent McDuffie, who recently signed a four-year, $124 million contract

While the Patriots’ stated goal is to keep Gonzalez for the long term, they also have the fifth-year contract option at their disposal for the 2027 season. Valued at a fully-guaranteed $18.119 million, it. needs to be exercised until May 1.

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Celtics lose late

Celtics 92 – Timberwolves 102

No Anthony Edwards.

Julius Randle 9 pts shot 21%

Something called Bones Hyland scored 23 points

Brown – 29 pts Tatum – 16 pts. 6-16 3pt.  White 15 ptts. Pritchard 10 pts.  NO help from bench

4th quarter Mazzula Ball

Celtics scored just 15 points in the 4th quarter

Shot 5-for-27 (18.5%) in the 4th

Went through a stretch of 12 straight missed shots early in the quarter

Went 0-for-7 from three in the 4th quarter

4th Quarter — Celtics Offensive Collapse (Confirmed)

Jayson Tatum — 4th Quarter Shot Breakdown

Field Goals

3-Point Shooting

Jaylen Brown — 4th Quarter Shot Breakdown

Field Goals

3-Point Shooting

First 10 Celtics Shots — 4th Quarter (In Order)

·         1. Jaylen Brown

·          Missed layup

·         2. Jayson Tatum

·          Missed 3PT

·         3. Jaylen Brown

·          Made layup

·         4. Jaylen Brown

·          Missed mid-range jumper

·         5. Jaylen Brown

·          Missed layup

·         6. Jayson Tatum

·          Missed layup

·         7. Jaylen Brown

·          Missed fadeaway

·         8. Jaylen Brown

·          Missed layup

·         9. Jayson Tatum

·          Missed mid-range jumper

·         10. Jaylen Brown

·          Missed 3PT

Assisted vs Isolation

Assisted Shots

Both assisted makes were:

Isolation / Self-Created Shots

Player Breakdown

Jayson Tatum

Mix of both, but his best shots came within flow

Jaylen Brown

100% of his offense = self-created

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Opening Day – The start to the latest iteration of The over promising and underwhelming Red Sox disappointment tour other wise known as baseball season

Red Sox opening day

Line up                                                                                                 Bench

Roman Anthony                DH                                                          Connor Wong                    C

Trevor Story                        SS                                                           Isiah Kiner Falefa               INF

Jarren Duran                      LF                                                            Andruw Monasterio        INF

Wilson Contreras              1B                                                           Masataka Yoshida            OF/DH

Wilyer Abreu                      RF

Caleb Durbin                      3B

Marcelo Mayer                  2B

Ceddanne Rafaela            CF

Carlos Narvaez                  C

THE ATHLETIC - Anthony and Duran are expected to share left field and DH duties, with Masataka Yoshida perhaps getting some starts whenever Duran is in center field.

Mayer is going to platoon at second base, starting against righties and sitting against lefties (either Monasterio or Isiah Kiner-Falefa will play second against left-handers). Abreu, who’s been primarily a platoon bat to this point in his career, looks to be more of a true everyday option in right field, in part because the Red Sox no longer have Rob Refsnyder to platoon in the outfield corners against lefties.

Rafaela is the only right-handed outfielder on the roster, but Kiner-Falefa played more than 500 innings in the outfield in 2023 — left field and center field — and could go out there as needed. 

Monasterio had an .837 OPS against lefties last season, and Yoshida has a .795 career OPS against righties, and given those options off his bench, Cora said he plans to aggressively pinch hit this season, especially for his catchers. It’s a key reason Wong made the team despite his .129 average this spring.

Pitching Rotation

Garrett Crochet                 RHP

Sonny Gray                         RHP       

Jhan Oviedo (TBD)           RHP

Ranger Suarez                    LHP       

Bryan Bello                          RHP

The Red Sox have announced every rotation spot except Game 3 (Suarez and Bello are really the Nos. 3 and 4 starters, but they’re being pushed to Games 4 and 5 because their workloads were limited in the World Baseball Classic).

There’s a chance the Red Sox could shift Oviedo to the bullpen and use 23-year-old lefty Connelly Early as a starting pitcher. The team optioned prospect Payton Tolle on Monday but kept Early, suggesting he’s made the team as either a starter or long reliever. Early had a 1.59 ERA in 17 innings this spring.

Patrick Sandoval and Kutter Crawford loom as other rotation options down the road, though both are almost certainly going to open the season on the Injured List. 

Bullpen

Aroldis Chapman              LHP

Garrett Whitlock               RHP

Justin Slaten                       RHP

Greg Weissert                    RHP

Danny Coulombe              LHP

Jovani Moran                     LHP

Ryan Watson                      RHP

Connelly Early                    LHP

Tommy Kahnle was reassigned to minor league camp. 

Kahnle signed late in spring training and expressed a willingness to go to Triple A — at least briefly — to start the season, but the Red Sox have coveted him for a while, and it might be a matter of time before he’s added to the roster. He impressed with a hitless inning on Saturday and is scheduled to pitch again on Tuesday.

“I saw a good pitcher the other day, throwing 94-95 (mph) and a good changeup,” Cora said.

36 years old plus 4.43 ERA last year in 63 innings. Career 3.61 ERA. 2023 – 2024 NYY 2.66 and 2.11 ERAs 40-50 games.

Noticeable players optioned to AAA

Payton Tolle

Kristian Campbell - .220 - .340 onbase % 1 HR 4 RBI in 18 games spring training

HEADLINES WITH THE OBVIOUS ONE

 Thank you there Richard 

•we are heading to Cincinnati and it’s not for that terrible skyline chili, it’s for opening day as the Red Sox take on the reds. First pitch is 4:10 

•the Celtics lost at home to the timber wolves for the first time since 2005, simpler times, happier times, ahhhhhhhhh

Next up a home date with defending champs OKC 

•12 games left in the nhl season and the bruins hold the 1st wildcard spot. They take on the maple leafs at home while we record (score update)

•and finally fuck the Florida gators for being the first 1 seed to lose and the team I picked to win the whole god damn thing and the shit I’ve been getting because of it, fuck you too Iowa 

This has been headlines with the obvious one 

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