Dave and Bethlie finish up the second part of this Overcoming Challenging Events series.

3. Keep growing

1. Only God can bring beauty out of ashes
   1. Satan wants to increase the ash heap
   2. God wants to grow beauty from the ash heap
2. He does it as we grow in Him
   1. Stay in the Word
      1. Read it daily
      2. Listen to it read aloud
         1. You Version
         2. Blue letter bible
         3. Etc
   2. Pray a lot
   3. Keep trusting God
   4. Remind yourself of truth
      1. Sin is bad
      2. Sin is the reason for all the wrong in the world
      3. God is good
         1. God is continually working to enable us to overcome the wrong

4. Be prepared for people

1. When they forget
2. When they say the wrong thing
3. When they let you down

In this episode, Dave and Bethlie launch a new mini-series on overcoming the challenging events of life. Whether it's the death of a loved one, a church split, a battle with cancer, or the pain of divorce we all encoutner challenging events. Part 1 of this mini series focuses on the importance of maintaining daily rhythms and staying connected both spiritually, and relationally, and through honest conversation. Even when everything in you wants to shut down.

• What do we mean by challenging events of life?
• A death
• A church split
• A cancer
• A divorce or betrayal
• Pastor Bill Prater call it How to get through what you can't get over

So how do you overcome all of this?

We can make these suggestions:

1. Keep going
   1. Practically
      1. Remember to eat
      2. Remember to sleep
      3. Try to exercise
      4. Maintain responsibilities
         1. Work
         2. Chores
         3. Family
   2. Spiritually
      1. Stay in church
      2. Play psalms hymns and spiritual songs
   3. Relationally
      1. Keep talking
      2. Stay connected
      3. Seek counsel
   4. Illustration of Joseph in the OT
      1. Called by God to be a leader
      2. Sold into slavery by his brothers
         1. Leads Potiphar's household
         2. Winds up in prison unjustly
         3. Leads the prison (is there for 12-13 years)

1. Keep talking
   1. Talk to God

1. Be honest
2. Be real
3. Stay in the Psalms a lot
   1. They are raw
   2. They are honest
   3. They always point to truth

1. Talk to each other

1. God designed us to talk to each other
2. Sharing our emotions with a trusted friend can help bring cleansing
   1. It allows our brain to process the emotions - especially if you are a man
   2. It cleanses our brain - especially if you are a woman
3. Sharing our emotions with a counselor can allow them to point us to truth

We're finishing this mini-series on Overcoming Pitfalls of Family and Ministry!

3. Please God wholeheartedly

1. In ministry we were/are all in

1. We served as a family
2. We have gone soul winning as a family
3. We have sung as a family
4. We have worshiped as a family
5. We have sat together as a family in church
6. We have had family devotions
7. We have had long talks about life and godliness
8. We have prayed together and seen God do great things as a result

1. In family we were/are all in

1. We have Trained - it never stops until they are adults on their own
2. We have done a ton of teaching - it never stops either
3. We have played - we did a lot of this
   1. Games
   2. Walks
   3. Movies
   4. Fun Family Fridays
   5. Beach days
   6. Coffee shops
   7. We have been to Disney, Busch gardens, and Cedar Point
   8. We have hiked in Nevada, Arizona, California, Tennessee, Ohio, Michigan
   9. We have been to the Pacific Ocean, the Atlantic Ocean, The Gulf of America (or Mexico :)) and all of the Great Lakes
   10. Dr. Dave Teis - spend money having fun with your kids
4. We also attended church some 300 nights each year in revival services, conferences, and camps

So how do you overcome the pitfalls of family and ministry?

Dave and Bethlie make three suggestions:

1. Have ONE priority
   1. GOD IS EVERYTHING
   2. I know that we are taught that Family is First
      1. Bethlie and I perhaps take a different approach
      2. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, all these things will be added unto you.
         1. All these things:
            1. Refers to God's blessings and favor and provisions
         2. The kingdom of God encompasses all of our Christian lives and responsibilities
            1. Our walk with God - that is a priority
            2. Our family - that is a priority
            3. Our ministry - that is a priority
         3. This doesn't have to be about 1, 2, 3
            1. It has to be about living our lives each day doing the right thing in the right way
         4. His righteousness:
            1. What does He want?
            2. What is right according to Him?

1. Pursue all responsibilities passionately and intentionally
   1. Dr. Bob Jones Sr. famously said - Duties never conflict.
      1. Like any saying that can be challenged - it isn't the Bible
      2. But he has a point
   2. Duties must be fulfilled
      1. God doesn't want us to give up one for the other
      2. He wants us to live our life and win on all fronts
   3. Ministry is not above family
      1. Serve the Lord - with your family
   4. Family is not above ministry
      1. Serve the Lord - with your family
   5. Both are life and and both are God given responsibilities
   6. Win at both

We're wrapping up this Overcoming Fear series!

6. Fear can be overcome

1. It takes power
2. It takes love
3. It takes a sound mind

Part 2 of our Overcoming Series!

Don't forget to subscribe to our newsletter to receive our NEW KIY Magazine!

Part 2

4. Fear is caused

1. By Temperament traits
2. By Childhood experiences
   1. Basic needs aren't met
      1. Love
      2. Understanding
      3. Acceptance
   2. Overprotective parents
   3. Dominating parents
3. By a traumatic experience
4. By Anger
5. By Sin
   1. A guilty conscience
6. By lack of Faith
   1. Unbelief is failing to trust God
   2. Unbelief is also trusting in something besides God
7. Ultimately by Selfishness - the basic cause of fear
   1. Shyness (an expression of fear) - is a focus on self

5. Fear is sometimes good

1. There is a good "fear"
   1. Recognize that there is a "fear" that is different from what we are talking about here
      1. Fear God Proverbs 1:7
         1. In this passage fear is referring to having an awareness and a reverence for God
   2. Recognize that caution can be helpful, but is different from the fear we are talking about here:
      1. Caution leads an airline pilot to check the instruments carefully
      2. Caution can lead a pharmacist to check and recheck the medication he is giving
   3. Remember that Jesus told us to fear in Matthew 10:28
      1. Fear the one who can destroy soul and body in hell
      2. Fear that which is deadly or trying to hurt you

We're continuing our Overcoming series and beginning a new topic, fear.

1. Fear is universal
   1. Adam and Eve experienced fear in the garden
      1. Farther we go from God and the more disobedient we are, the greater the fear that we experience
   2. Our world offers a continual diet of fear
      1. Economy
      2. World conditions
      3. Medical concerns
      4. See Reader's Digest illustration p. 82 LaHaye
         1. Joseph Fort Newton, former pastor of St. James Church, Philadelphia
         2. Had newspaper article called "A ministers mail"
         3. His column "everyday living" reached millions of people
         4. One article was about fear and he said that "fear leads to worry and worry is a tiny rivulet seeping into the mind like slow poison, until it paralyzes us and cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained."

1. Fear is personal
   1. We fear failure
   2. We fear that our kids will be hurt
   3. We fear retirement
   4. We fear not having medical help
   5. Parents in our culture especially battle with fear
      1. Fear of leaving our kids in a church nursery
      2. Fear of letting our kids attend youth ministry
      3. Fear of losing our kids to the world
   6. Singles battle fear
      1. Fear of getting married to the wrong person
      2. Fear of being deceived by someone you marry

1. Fear is costly
   1. 92% of our fears NEVER take place
   2. Emotionally - fear leads to any number of emotional issues
      1. Anxiety
      2. Doubts
      3. Timidity
      4. Indecision
      5. Superstition
      6. Withdrawal
      7. Loneliness
      8. Overagression
      9. Worry
      10. Inferiority
      11. Cowardice
      12. Suspicion
      13. Hesitancy
      14. Depression
      15. Haughtiness
      16. Social shyness
   3. Socially
      1. Fear keeps us from speaking
      2. Fear keeps us from serving
   4. Physically
      1. Fear affects our health in a variety of ways
   5. Spiritually
      1. Quenches the Holy Spirit
      2. Stifles our soul wining
         1. Compare Paul and Silas with the Philippian jailor
      3. Prevents us from pleasing God

Don't forget to sign up for the Keeping It Young Magazine!

Enjoy this last episode of the Overcoming Hurt mini-series.

Fruit That Can Result From A Hurt

v. 14. God will use it to make you holy

v. 17 God will use it to get you to the Father

v. 21 God will use it to build your faith and hope

v. 22 God will use it to purify your heart to fervent love

V. 23 God will use it to get you saved

Part 4 and the final episode in this Overcoming series.

Don't forget to sign up for the Keeping It Young Magazine!

4. Forgive the one who hurt you

1. Forgiveness understands the wrong
2. Forgiveness understands that it will always be wrong
3. Forgiveness chooses to move on
4. Forgiveness releases the debt that I am owed because of the wrong

Let's dive in on part 3!

5. Treat others with love

6. Guard your words

1. Speak truth - but always in love

2 Be honest - lying never works

3. Control your temper

1. The wrath of man never works the righteousness of God

3. Confront the hurt Biblically -Ephesians 4:30-31

1. Grow spiritually Ephesians 4:19-24

2. Be kind to those who hurt you

3. Be tenderhearted about the hurt

1. Put away bitterness

2. Put away anger

3. Refuse to speak hurtfully

4. Forgive the one who hurt you