“This is all bad acting,” says Christi about the episode of Dance Moms titled “I Know What You Did Last Competition.” Like a pair of detectives, she and Kelly spend this episode of Back to the Barre pointing out all the behaviors that gave Melissa and Abby away as cheaters and (bad) liars. Abby and Melissa had conspired before the previous competition to scratch the cd containing Maddie’s choreography music, knowing that judges would automatically declare Maddie the winner just for completing the dance uninterrupted. In this latest Dance Moms episode, Abby wields her trademark hypocrisy, Melissa uses clever wording and the two stage an over-the-top fake fight to try to cover it up. Nobody’s buying it, though, especially with all they’ve learned in the last 11 years.

The inherent problem with Dance Moms–and one of the many reasons they both agree children shouldn’t participate in reality TV— is that the Moms are paid to fight, but Abby would take those fights out on their daughters. So Chloe, Paige and Brooke were constantly punished because Kelly and Christi carried the show. Abby knew this and took full advantage of it. Every week, the Hylands  were set up–by Abby and the producers— to look stupid. This week, Abby used the costumes to humiliate them, putting the girls in the wrong sizes and not letting Paige wear the green dress so she could stand out. 

These days Abby hocks counterfeit versions of Paige’s costumes and props online. The real ones remain packed away in Kelly’s house. Christi shares her favorite-ever Lifetime movie and the random words that make her sick. 

Quotes

• “There are a lot of little clues–if you know Abby and Melissa–throughout this episode that I really caught on to…Normally in a situation like this Abby would have thrown it in the girls’ faces, but here she wants to move on. She just dismissed it because…she would have looked guilty.” (20:51-21:23 | Kelly and Christi)
• “Abby tells the audience that she’s going to take the contract that I signed and make me read it, because she doesn’t think I read. I don’t read. And let me tell you, if I was going to read something it sure as hell wouldn’t be her contract.” (32:36-32:48 | Kelly)
• “This fight reads so insincere and fake from Melissa. Go back and watch it. It’s so not real.” (41:57-42:09 | Christi)

Links

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Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

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Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

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