I suppose the one question that begs to be answered after a conversation about a haunted house is … Do you believe in ghosts? To which my honest confession is … I don’t know.I find the conversation fascinating but I’ve never felt a compulsion to defend a position for or against. I know, kinda boring, but in exchange I will tell you three things I do believe about such things …I believe in not jumping to conclusions or forcing explanations. The older I get the more comfortable I’ve become with unanswered questions. History is littered with unexplained phenomena which we often attributed to the supernatural but later, as our grasp of the world grew, we understood as natural. But while those phenomena remain outside our grasp it’s perfectly appropriate to call them paranormal, because that’s exactly what that word means. I don’t have much use for the word supernatural because as I see it something is either real or it’s not. If it’s real then somewhere, somehow it’s part of the natural, even if we can’t see the connection. And by the way, finding out where a phenomena plugs into the natural world doesn’t rob it of its wonder the way a magic trick is ruined when you learn how it’s done. For me this life is nothing but wonder, so discovering its truths only takes you deeper into the magic.So the second thing I believe is keeping myself open to mystery and wonder. Hamlet regularly haunts the grey matter between my temples and often reminds me, “Dean, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophies.”Lastly, I am utterly dogmatic about one thing when it comes to spooks and specters. I absolutely, passionately, fervently believe in ghost stories. From Hamlet, to Sleepy Hollow, to Dickin’s Christmas Carol, ghost stories are some of the most enduring and meaningful stories. I believe in ghost stories because they have so much to teach us and are so good at doing so. They don’t just communicate dispassionate truth. They get under our skin. They stir us up; push us off balance; make us uncomfortable. Then they remind us of our mortality. Remind us that the clock is always ticking; that this life is not a rehearsal and we must live it to the fullest right here and right now. Perhaps most important to me, a good ghost story is often a cautionary tale of the danger of unfulfilled plans, unrealized dreams, misguided priorities, and the haunting power of unresolved conflict, guilt, and regret.In most ghost stories most ghosts are stuck, not by what happened in the afterlife, but stuck by what happens in this life. Stuck in time. Stuck in self-focus. Stuck in loneliness. Stuck in trauma. Stuck in a rut. You know what they say about ruts; a rut is just a grave with the ends kicked out. A rut isn’t a grave you die in. It’s a grave you live in. That’s the kind of grave I fear the most. Stuck people are like ghosts. I’ve seen them. I’ve been one. So, ok, I guess I believe in ghosts. Staying stuck eventually dilutes you. Your potency will begin to fade, a little bit and then a little bit more, until you’re just a shimmer, a shadow, a thin apparition of your former self.So, a good ghost story leaves us with good questions …Am I living my life, or merely haunting it? Am I stuck? Am I in a rut? How long before it becomes a grave? Is there something holding me in place? Something I need to let go of? What is it that I can’t or won’t move beyond? If today turns out to be the last day of my time here what kind of unfinished business would I be leaving behind? What deeds will be left undone? What words will be left unspoken?If you are to be haunted let it be by finding the answers to those questions. Let them haunt you until they unstick you. Let them push and push and push until you have no choice but to break free, step out into the light and get busy building yourself a beautiful life.
