Kick in the Panties

SHOW NOTES – Q&A 17, Season 2 Taylor writes: “Dear Panty Kickers I have a question for you, what makes you qualified to answer questions??.”

Panty Kicker Bona Fides:

* We are both in very successful and positive long term-relationships.* We’re both raising two smart well adjusted humans who don’t cry when we drop them off at school (not that there’s anything wrong with that!).* We’ve set out to do and actually achieved things we’ve put our minds to doing.* We have drama free existences. * We’re striving to be better and do so by studying a lot of other people on this mission- so yes we have read that self help book and we’re not NOT proud of it * We have our shit together and for the most part we did it ourselves (with our partners of course!). We benefitted from some advantages but we’re not rich nor do we come from rich people so we’ve scrapped and scraped to get here and that’s worth something. 

We would LOVE to answer your questions!  Please DM us on instagram @kickinthepanties or be like Jessica and use the “write to us” button on our website, kickinthepanties.com

See you next week for a really exciting Episode: Resolving Past Hurts!

xoxo Carolyn and Becca

Do we tend to choose partners who reflect upon us the image that we keep of ourselves? Does having self confidence ensure that you will pick a partner who respects and reveres you? If you feel like shit, will you pick a partner that treats you that way? The Panty Kickers go deep to figure out this important intersection of self thought and our connection with others.

Carolyn says:

* When you feel bad about yourself you tend to gravitate toward those who will verify those negative feelings.* My ex wouldn’t get the time of day now that I feel better about myself!* Look for where you’ve been responsible for what happens in your relationships. You are allowing

Becca says:

* When you’re in a shitty relationship its hard to see your way out, a little distance can give you perspective.* Your beliefs about how relationships are may be making you a bad person to be with.* Try dating someone outside of your regular circle. Understanding other cultures, views, and

Homework: Part 1: Examine your past relationships. Look where you were hurt early on, and ask yourself why you stayed. Part 2: Take 30 minutes and write down all your beliefs about yourself, men/women, relationships, dating and reasons why your past relationships have ended.

We are available on ITUNES, STITCHER, OVERCAST AND SPOTIFY!  Please rate, review, and share a favorite episode with a friend!

See you next week for Taylor’s Q&A: “Dear Panty Kickers, I have a question for you, what makes you qualified to answer questions?”, and for our next full length episode: Resolving Past Hurts

XO Panty Kickers

SHOW NOTES – Q&A 16, Season 2 Jessica writes: “I’ve recently started dating a guy I met on Bumble and he’s cancelled dates with me last minute a couple of times.  Is that a red flag, and should I stop dating someone just because of one red flag or should I wait for more to emerge?.”

Carolyn top 5 red flags:

* He’s disrespectful (of anyone!)* She’s unreliable* He’s closed-minded* She’s jealous or controlling* They’re immature

Becca says:

* You don’t go where they go or know who they know* He treats his mother like shit* She’s not serious about other “big” commitments* He talks badly about his exes* It’s never her fault

We would LOVE to answer your questions!  Please DM us on instagram @kickinthepanties or be like Jessica and use the “write to us” button on our website, kickinthepanties.com

See you next week for a really exciting Episode: Dating your reflection!

xoxo Carolyn and Becca

The Panty Kickers are back with a vengeance with loads of new insights, advice, and opinions about how to be the best you in ROMANCE.

This episode looks at bringing 100% of yourself to your relationships and focusing on becoming 100% whole in your own right.

***NOTE: apologies for the mic-brushing! Obviously, we are slightly out of practice, we will back up a smidge! 🙂 ***

Carolyn says:

* When you are relying on a relationship to fulfill you, you create an imbalance that works against reciprocity.* It’s key to recognize when you are too wrapped up in your partner’s life and are ignoring your own needs.* Identify the feelings you want to feel from your relationship and find ways you can create those feelings for yourself.

Becca says:

* If you come to your relationships with a low sense of self-worth, your partners will have a difficult time respecting you.* The more happy you are in your individual life, the more attractive you will be to others.* When you’re both there to say “I’m 100% in this” it’s a much firmer foundation than a co-dependent relationship built on fear.

Homework: Look at your current relationship or past relationships and identify one area where you could become more independent. Try it! Don’t be scurrrredddddd.

We are available on ITUNES, STITCHER, OVERCAST AND SPOTIFY!  Please rate, review, and share a favorite episode with a friend!

See you next week for Jessica’s Q&A: “I’ve recently started dating a guy I met on Bumble and he’s cancelled dates with me last minute a couple of times. Is that a red flag, and should I stop dating someone just because of one red flag or should I wait for more to emerge?”, and for our next full length episode: Dating Your Reflection

XO Panty Kickers

The Panty Kickers say, “adios muchacha!” to season 1 and reveal their favorite, most impactful moments of the season.

Thank you so much for listening, writing in, and sharing your positive feedback with us as we took on this fun project. We have gotten an incredible amount out of it and are so blessed to be sharing our thoughts on life, wellness, and self-improvement with you. <3

Carolyn’s Big Takeaways:

* Congruency. It’s important that what you think, do, say, and how you act are in sync. * Willpower VS Discipline. Willpower will get you to discipline, you won’t have to force yourself toward your goals forever – it will get easier!* Blockages, in Carol’s case her “paused” video series, are real and are often not about what you think!

Becca’s Big Takeaways:

* Little by little. Taking small steps day by day is the only way to change your life.* Live in the life you have right now. Being present in your reality can change what you think you need to do right now.* Disconnect from your phone so you can connect with those around you.

Homework: Enjoy your summer!

We are available on ITUNES, STITCHER, OVERCAST AND SPOTIFY!  Please rate, review, and share a favorite episode with a friend! Sharing helps us the MOST, please do that.

See you on OCTOBER 7th for the first Episode of SEASON 2 – Romantic Relationships! We will be tackling love, sex, marriage, and dating and BOY do we have a lot of opinions to share with you. Join us for our next full length episode: Two Halves to Make a Whole?

XO Panty Kickers

SHOW NOTES – Q&A 14, Season 1 Marissa writes: “Dear Panty Kickers, how do you deal with unforeseen obstacles or things that take you way off course? I’ve been saving to take classes at my community college and now all the sudden I went over a huge pot-hole and ruined my transmission. I’m so devastated! I’ve saved for all this time and now it’s going to be totally wiped out.”

Carolyn says:

* Try to see this as your friend’s problem. What advice would you give a friend in the same situation?* Weigh your options, is there public transportation you could use to get to get around while you save up a little more to fix the transmission? Or could you get on a payment plan with the school?* Everything happens for a reason, in life when you’re off course you may receive a little nudge from the universe. What could this be telling you? Is there a lesson here to cling to?* BOOK MENTION: The Obstacle Is The Way by Ryan Holiday

Becca says:

* Is there any way to chunk out the payments instead of emptying your school savings?* Set backs can be a positive time to get focused and reframe the choices you are making.* Use this time to re-establish faith in what you’re doing and your path. PUSH forward!* Do a gut check to see if this is about fear. Are you using this as an excuse to not move forward?

We would LOVE to answer your questions!  Please DM us on instagram @kickinthepanties or be like Marissa and use the “write to us” button on our website, kickinthepanties.com

You can try this too, but we’re on the verge of deletion: https://www.facebook.com/KITPpodcast

See you next week for a really exciting Episode 15 Season One Revelations!

xoxo Carolyn and Becca

The Panty Kickers investigate how one can truly become happy for others. You may see this coming, but it starts with your happiness with yourself.

How can you be happy for others? Be happy for yourself. Seriously! Check your own life out!  Check your confidence levels!  Get in your own head.  When are these thoughts occurring?  With which friends/family members?  Around what issues? Open the control panel and figure out what is making you tick.

Carolyn says:

* If you’re happy in your life you don’t wish negative outcomes for others. * When you’re unhappy with yourself, there’s usually one area that is the sticking point.* What’s pissing you off about other’s lives? Use that as a clue about what you may want for yourself.

Becca says:

* Develop an attitude of gratitude about your own life* Secretly own a part of their success 😉* Your friends are a reflection of you – aren’t you awesome!?* List all of the reasons you are happy for them – actually write it down and then take them out to celebrate!* GET OFF SOCIAL!!!!!! * Trust that your rainbow will lead you to your pot of gold

We are all on our own journeys, keep moving forward and don’t get stuck in the jealousy mud!

Homework: Create a mantra to say to yourself when feelings of jealousy crop up around other’s successes.  USE IT.  Becca’s is going to be, “I have such cool and interesting people in my life and amazing things are always happening to them, I wonder what neat thing is going to happen to me next” Carol’s will be, “Run your own race, you are running your own race.”

We are available on ITUNES, STITCHER, OVERCAST AND SPOTIFY!  Please rate, review, and share a favorite episode with a friend!

See you next week for Marissa’s Q&A “How do you deal with unforeseen obstacles?”, and for our next full length episode: Season revelations, the End of Season 1!

XO Panty Kickers

SHOW NOTES – Q&A 13, Season 1 Brian writes: “Hi Carol and Becca my name is Brian and I definitely need a kick in the panties. Love your podcast, especially the one about stop comparing yourself to others that was really helpful. My question is how do I motivate myself to have a better attitude at work and not hate it? I work retail.”

Carolyn says:

* Get more engaged with your co-workers. Co-workers can make or break your work environment, try to find people you connect with or who can bring entertainment into your day.* Be sugary sweet to your customers. You can create a positive energy loop.* Change the way you go into work. Try caffeine 🙂

Becca says:

* Use the moments where you are doing rote or mundane activities to let your mind wander to more productive, creative, or inspiring ideas about what you might do next!* Think about every job that your friends and family members have and see if there is anything out there you might enjoy doing more. How did they get those jobs? Could you follow the path?* Exercise and eat better. Food and working out is scientifically proven to improve your attitude. * Zone in on the parts of the day that make you proud.

We would LOVE to answer your questions!  Please DM us on instagram @kickinthepanties or be like Brian and use the “write to us” button on our website, kickinthepanties.com

You can try this too, but we’re on the verge of deletion: https://www.facebook.com/KITPpodcast

See you next week for a really exciting Episode 14 on How to Be Happy for Others

xoxo Carolyn and Becca

This week the Panty Kickers are talking about the ever-unpopular EX and how the things they said about us, did against us, or thought about us become part of our personal narrative and over-all vision of who we are and what we can become.

Carolyn says:

* Romantic relationships have the power to take you out of who you thought you were. * You put yourself in a bush! You can’t blame anyone else for your wild actions related to someone else.* Exes teach you about yourself and get you closer to knowing what you do and do not want from relationships.* Once you love yourself you stop believing that you deserve to be treated like crap.* It’s not love that makes you accept bad behavior from a lover, it’s a lack of love for yourself.

Becca says:

* What I’ve realized about the ones that do occupy my mind time to time is that I still have not gone through the stages of forgiveness necessary to move on.* Self love/forgiveness is so much harder to achieve than forgiving the actions of someone else.  * Be sure to close the door – It can be so painful to cut someone out that you are used to having around, but I promise it will also be very freeing to take ownership over your best interest.* Every relationship will bring lessons to the table, and it’s what you do with what others will teach you that matters.

Homework:  Do a gut check and find the most bothersome spot in your dating history, the thing that turns you red, that still bug you after all these years.  Now think about this in context of forgiveness of yourself and see what you come up with.  Can you see your past self?  Can you reach out with a virtual hug for this person and instead of beating them with “you should have” “why didn’t you” “how could you have” try instead to understand the road that person was traveling THEN and be compassionate for their experience.  What lead to that?  How has that person grown since?  Does your heart feel lighter?

Song mention!: Lucinda Williams’ “Metal Firecracker”.

See you next week for Brian’s Q&A “Hi Carol and Becca my name is Brian and I definitely need a kick in the panties. Love your podcast especially the one about stop comparing yourself to others that was really helpful. My question is how do I motivate myself to have a better attitude at work and not hate it. I work retail.” and for the next full length episode “Being Happy for Others” on July 8th.

XO Panty Kickers

SHOW NOTES – Q&A 12, Season 1 Jordan writes: “Dear Panty Kickers, I have a really difficult time opening up to female friends about my emotions. I pretend to have it all together because I don’t want them to think I’m a mess. I also feel somewhat competitive with them I wish I didn’t but I’m always comparing. I feel like I keep them at a distance how do I open up and still feel safe?”

Carolyn says:

* When you yourself are in a bad place it’s hard to feel happy for anyone.* If you notice that you’re keeping people at a distance it may be because you’re ashamed of yourself.* Maybe it’s time for you to take some time to yourself, take a step back and examine what you really want in life. Focus on yourself so you can get to a place of growth and you may feel better about opening up.

Becca says:

* Should your friends not share the good things that happen in their lives because they’re afraid they’ll hurt your feelings? NO!* Therapy is a very useful tool for sussing out some of the reasons why we have these hang ups around what others have/do/say.* Twenties are for dumping your problems on your friends, thirties are for dealing with your problems on your own.

We would LOVE to answer your questions!  Please DM us on instagram @kickinthepanties or use the “write to us” button on our website, kickinthepanties.com

https://www.facebook.com/KITPpodcast

See you next week for a really exciting Episode 13 on Past Loves and Relationships!

xoxo Carolyn and Becca