We got your messages shaming Vanessa for her Box of Shame story on Friday, so let's be clear: Vanessa did not kill a dog & we love her. If you continue sending death threats, feel bad. Especially because you are sending them to a child.

In other news, Ally somehow lost her phone in a shopping cart at Target and Klein walked into an adult store and confidently purchased the viral “Rose,” which backfired. Jake made his third attempt at getting a free donut at Krispy Kreme… and succeeded! Happy Super Saturday to all who celebrate.

Postmaster Johnny failed his forced resolutions by not drinking every day like he was supposed to, so now we need listener punishment ideas. We get 'em to us! We spin the wheel tomorrow (his birthday).

Plus, we break down the TikTok relationship “rules” everyone swears by: the 7-7-7 method, the 2-2-2 method, and the 5:1 magic ratio. Will any of them save your relationship?