Leadership Parenting- Resilient Moms Raise Resilient Kids

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Do you ever finish bedtime, get almost out the door, and hear a small voice ask whether her friend was mad at her today? You answer, you kiss her head, you leave. And eleven minutes later she's at the top of the stairs asking you the same thing again.

In this episode, I talk about what's actually happening inside a school age child when she can't put a thought down, and why it almost never sounds like worry when she tells you about it. We look at why a six or seven year old experiences a thought as a fact rather than an idea, and why that's her age rather than a problem with her. We also talk about reassurance, and why it works for about eleven minutes.

I walk you through four things to do, in order, starting with her body. This is the second half of a pair, so if you haven't heard last week's episode on your own overthinking, start there.

If you'd like to get the show notes for this episode, head to:

 https://leighgermann.com

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Do you ever lie awake replaying a conversation, going over what was said and what it might have meant? You're not alone, and nothing is wrong with you. Overthinking is one of the most common things a human mind does.

In this episode, I talk about why overthinking feels so productive while it's happening, and why the advice to just stop thinking about it so rarely works. We look at what's going on underneath the loop, and at how your body responds to the scenarios your mind creates.

Then I walk you through three ways to get out of the loop. The first one doesn't start with your thoughts at all. If you're tired of losing sleep over things you can't stop replaying, this episode will give you something you can use tonight.

If you'd like to get the show notes for this episode, head to:

 https://leighgermann.com

Send us Fan Mail

If you'd like to get the show notes for this episode, head to:

 https://leighgermann.com

Send us Fan Mail

Do you ever take the time for yourself that everyone says you should take, the pedicure, the show after bedtime, the hour alone in a store, and come back feeling exactly as tired as when you left? I want to talk about why that happens, because it isn't that you've been taking care of yourself wrong.

In this episode I walk through a difference I've been talking about with moms lately, one that separates the kind of rest that drains away from the kind that actually refills you. I'll also give you a practice that takes about ninety seconds and does more for your body than a night out.

This is the first of two episodes. Next week we look at how to fit restoration into a day that's already full.

If you'd like to get the show notes for this episode, head to:

 https://leighgermann.com

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Do you ever answer somebody before you have actually decided anything? Somebody asks, you hear your own voice saying yes, and it is out of your mouth before any part of you has checked whether you have the room for it. You are not alone, and nothing is wrong with you. 

In this episode, we look at what researchers found about the difference between warmth that still includes you and warmth that quietly leaves you out, and why a request made to your face is the hardest kind to think clearly inside of. Then I walk you through the tool I use now, including the four seconds that come before the words and the exact phrases that buy you time without pushing anybody away.

This one is for the mother who says yes too fast and cannot figure out why. 

If you'd like to get the show notes for this episode, head to:

 https://leighgermann.com

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In this episode, I name five ordinary habits that most of us picked up without noticing, and I show you which pillar of the Resiliency System each one is quietly taking from. Then I walk you through what to do instead, including the three questions I run on a thought that feels true, and a four question tool you can use on yourself in a few seconds. 

If you'd like to get the show notes for this episode, head to:

 https://leighgermann.com

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Do you ever pick your child up, ask how the day went, and get one word back? Fine. Good. I don't know. And then a few days later you watch that same child sit down next to somebody else and tell them everything you asked for. You're not alone, and it doesn't mean you've done something wrong.

In this episode, I talk about why asking more questions often gets you less, and what the research says about where a parent's knowledge about her own child actually comes from. It isn't what most of us assume, and it changes the job.

We look at why kids almost never open with the important thing, what your child is reading on your face before you say a word, and the four things that get in the way, all of which come from love.

Then I give you four things to do, and none of them are listening techniques. If your child has gone quiet and you've already tried every question you can think of, this episode will give you a different place to start.

If you'd like to get the show notes for this episode, head to:

 https://leighgermann.com

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Do you ever have one of those mornings where you can feel it going before it goes? You are doing everything you are supposed to be doing, and somewhere around the second time you say the same sentence, you hear yourself using a tone you would never use with another adult. You are not alone, and nothing is wrong with you.

In this episode, I talk about why there is no perfect morning routine, and why even the people who study this for a living cannot agree on one. We look at what is actually happening inside a child's developing brain and nervous system in the morning, and why the strategies that work for four days keep falling apart on the fifth.

I walk you through four things that have to be true underneath any morning routine, and four small shifts you can start tomorrow. If you want mornings with less yelling and a little more sweetness before your kids walk out the door, this episode will give you something you can use right away. 

Back To School With Confidence (free through the end of September)

My workshop on the five needs children have when they move from one thing to the next. Fifty minutes with a workbook, and it goes much further than the episode can into what actually helps a child through a change. It applies at bedtime, at the end of screen time, and on the first day of anything.

👉 Get the workshop here

If you'd like to get the show notes for this episode, head to:

 https://leighgermann.com

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The first day of school can feel like freedom and heartbreak in the same breath. You may feel sad that your kids are growing up, worried about how they'll adjust, relieved to have some time to yourself - and then guilty for feeling relieved. In this episode of the Leadership Parenting Podcast, I'm talking about how to handle back-to-school emotions without mom guilt. I'll explain why parenting transitions can feel so emotional, why your brain and nervous system react strongly to change, and why feeling guilt doesn't necessarily mean you've done something wrong. I'll also give you four simple emotional regulation tools to help you calm your body, understand what you're feeling, stop judging yourself for having mixed emotions, and move through motherhood transitions with more confidence. Because being a resilient mom doesn't mean having the 'right' feelings. It means learning how to hold more than one feeling at a time and keep going.

If you'd like to get the show notes for this episode, head to:

 https://leighgermann.com

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Have you ever finished a conversation with someone you love and felt like something did not quite land, even though the words went back and forth and your intentions were good? In this episode, I talk about why the people closest to us sometimes go quiet, what we are actually doing when we think we are listening, and the difference between listening to respond and listening to understand. I share what Carl Rogers and John Gottman discovered about being truly heard, and I give you three simple places to begin practicing a different kind of listening, the kind that keeps a family close through every season. This is learnable. It is a skill, not a personality trait, and you can start today.

If you'd like to get the show notes for this episode, head to:

 https://leighgermann.com