September 21, 2022

Learning to Love Well: Listen Deeply

23 minutes

We’re talking about our fourth lesson of loving well in this episode: Learning to Listen Deeply. Listening well is a skill and a superpower that makes us better colleagues, friends, and parents. It's also a skill that goes both ways; as you practice listening well, you'll also gain the skill of listening to yourself. As you listen, you'll start to tap into what you really want, need, and connecting with more meaning and purpose in your life. Tune in to learn more about this skill and how you can quickly apply into your own life.

Key Takeaways:

Listening well is a superpower and a skill that you can get better at.
As you listen more to others, you'll listen more to yourself.
When we listen well, there is no responsibility to "fix" the situation.
We often hide the truth from ourselves. Those who listen well to us can help us uncover these truths. As we listen well to ourselves, we can also uncover these truths.
Sarah Dessen quote:
- “This is the problem with dealing with someone who is actually a good listener. They don’t jump in on your sentences, saving you from actually finishing them, or talk over you, allowing what you do manage to get out to be lost or altered in transit. Instead, they wait, so you have to keep going.”
Kevin Kelly's "Rule of 3" in conversation:
- “To get to the real reason, ask a person to go deeper than what they just said. Then again, and once more. The third time’s answer is close to the truth…keep asking them Is there more? Until there is no more.”
Paulo Coelho quote:
- “All wisdom was the result of listening to one’s own soul.”
Dr. Carl Menniger quote:
- "Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.”

Links Mentioned:

Joy Lab Program
Joy Lab Podcast episode #6 (5 Lessons of Loving Well)
Joy Lab Podcast episode #21 (Love Yourself First)
Joy Lab Podcast episode #22 (See the Innocence in Others)
Joy Lab Podcast episode #23 (Be More Permeable)

Kevin Kelly's website
Chemistry of Joy by Henry Emmons, MD
Parker Palmer's Center for Courage and Renewal
Sarah Dessen's website.
Paulo Coelho's website.
About Dr. Karl Menninger (Kansas Historical Society)

Full transcript available at: https://www.naturalmentalhealth.com/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2147802954

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By Henry Emmons, MD and Aimee Prasek, PhD

127127 ratings

September 21, 2022

Learning to Love Well: Listen Deeply

23 minutes

Key Takeaways:

Listening well is a superpower and a skill that you can get better at.
As you listen more to others, you'll listen more to yourself.
When we listen well, there is no responsibility to "fix" the situation.
We often hide the truth from ourselves. Those who listen well to us can help us uncover these truths. As we listen well to ourselves, we can also uncover these truths.
Sarah Dessen quote:
- “This is the problem with dealing with someone who is actually a good listener. They don’t jump in on your sentences, saving you from actually finishing them, or talk over you, allowing what you do manage to get out to be lost or altered in transit. Instead, they wait, so you have to keep going.”
Kevin Kelly's "Rule of 3" in conversation:
- “To get to the real reason, ask a person to go deeper than what they just said. Then again, and once more. The third time’s answer is close to the truth…keep asking them Is there more? Until there is no more.”
Paulo Coelho quote:
- “All wisdom was the result of listening to one’s own soul.”
Dr. Carl Menniger quote:
- "Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.”