Johnny recently signed up for Netflix and instantly he came down with a serious case of buyer's remorse. All he wanted was a nice movie night with his family. Instead, he got an unsteady stream of absolutely nothing. He truly cannot stand Netflix. But Dave thinks it's great. Of course, all Dave really needs is Breaking Bad on his iPad, some eighteen-year-old single malt scotch and just about anything works for him.

Do you brake for yard sales? Well then we think you're probably a used saucer short of a complete place setting. Johnny recently observed a parade of circus mutants picking through his son's collection of junk. And always remember, if it says "free stuff," nobody wants it.

Are you someone who texts while driving? Do you eat, read the paper or apply makeup when you're behind the wheel? If you are guilty as charged, we have a bone to pick with you. Can we please put the iPhone down and pay attention to the road for more than five-seconds?

If you hear some odd sounds in the background of our latest podcast, it's not because Johnny ate a whole bag of dried apricots. Dave's having a new air conditioning system installed at his world-wide headquarters all while the contractor is building a fine new house on Dave's dime.

Can Obama do anything right? He goes over to Normandy for the 70th anniversary of D-Day tribute, gives his usual eighth-grade-level speech, and then is caught on camera chewing gum during the other speeches. No respect. No class. No shame. No clue.

If we told you last week that Obama would trade five vicious Taliban detainees for one US soldier, who may, in fact, be a deserter, you would have said we were even more insane than usual. Well friends, the insanity is very real and it's emanating from, you guessed it, Washington.

A serious crisis is fermenting in our great country. We're runnng short on high-end whiskey. But fear not dear anonymous alcoholics, Dave has had the foresight and the "spheres" to stockpile enough amber liquid to get him through at least the end of next week.

Like most people, we have our pet peeves. We literally hate it when someone uses 'literally' as a superlative and mistakenly tries to convert the impossible into the literal. We can't be the only ones, can we?

As the last day of school draws near, nights at the school are filled with an endless array of concerts and shows. As much as the children are looking forward to summer, parents are equally excited to put their feet up, drink an adult beverage and not look at other kids' art for at least two months.

Have you noticed the latest trend in international crisis management? If 234 Nigerian girls are kidnapped, all you have to do is hold up a sign with a hashtag and a slogan and your obligation is fulfilled. #seriously?