Let Go and Be Free

Are you always waiting for the other shoe to drop?

And are afraid that the worst is going to happen in any given situation?

Why is that?

Did this copying technique help you survive a dysfunctional upbringing?

Or, deep down, do you feel that you're not worthy of happiness. That you feel you are broken or deserve to fail?

Sometimes it's important to let go of what may have worked in the past and grow beyond the fears that held us captive as kids. 

• Become a supporter to help the podcast continue in 2024.

More Information about Let Go and Be Free:

Want to learn more about Let Go and Be Free? Check out the Let Go and Be Free book series or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.

I’m not a medical expert. If you need help, please reach out to a medical professional.

Listen to the podcast on:

• Spotify

• Apple podcasts

• Google podcasts

• Amazon music

• RSS feed (copy and paste the link into your podcast app)

People can use guilt to manipulate you or you can use it to stop yourself from growing.

Guilt imprisons you.

How do you know when guilt is a good emotion to feel (to help you self-regulate and admit that you've done something to hurt another)?

And how do you know when you're being emotionally manipulated?

In this episode, we'll talk through some of the more common ways that people use guilt as a way to emotionally manipulate you and discuss the tools you can use to strengthen your boundaries and build your own self-confidence.

Support the Podcast:

Become a supporter to help the podcast continue in 2024.

More Information about Let Go and Be Free:

Want to learn more about Let Go and Be Free? Check out the Let Go and Be Free book series or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.

I’m not a medical expert. If you need help, please reach out to a medical professional.

Listen to the podcast on:

• Spotify

• Apple podcasts

• Google podcasts

• Amazon music

• RSS feed (copy and paste the link into your podcast app)

Make time to take care of your body and mind. But how? What if you're so used to taking care of others or focus on your work?

And what if you feel trapped in a cycle of dysfunction?  Where can you start to make inroads to living a healthier and happier life?

Resource: Compare Your Life Expectancy with Others Around the World from The Washington Post 

Support the Podcast:

Become a supporter to help the podcast continue in 2024.

More Information about Let Go and Be Free:

Want to learn more about Let Go and Be Free? Check out the Let Go and Be Free book series or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.

I’m not a medical expert. If you need help, please reach out to a medical professional.

Listen to the podcast on:

• Spotify

• Apple podcasts

• Google podcasts

• Amazon music

• RSS feed (copy and paste the link into your podcast app)

What external validation do you crave?

Do you throw yourself into work or helping others so that you feel good about yourself?

Do you know that you are worthy just because you are? 

If you grew up in a dysfunctional family and was surrounded by substance abuse, you may struggle with knowing that you are worthy.

In this week's episode, we'll explore how to answer the question: "Are you worthy?" and to sit with our feelings toward the roles we play in life.

Let's listen together and continue on the journey.

More Information about Let Go and Be Free:

Want to learn more about Let Go and Be Free? Check out the Let Go and Be Free book series or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.

I’m not a medical expert. If you need help, please reach out to a medical professional.

Listen to the podcast on:

• Spotify

• Apple podcasts

• Google podcasts

• Amazon music

• RSS feed (copy and paste the link into your podcast app)

In this second episode where I discuss work and our relationship to it, I recap Simone Stolzoff's book The Good Enough Job and how fear has fueled my desire to work hard all the time. 

I also discuss how addicted behaviors are picked up by Adult Children of Alcoholics (you may not drink, but throw your time/energy in work, etc.). 

I share my personal work history and talk about losing my job at the beginning of the pandemic.

• How did I feel not having a job?
• How did that stir up my fears of not having enough money to survive (even if that wasn't true)?
• What is the healthy balance between work and rest?
• Having a balanced approach to life (the juste milieu - middle path) is best. 
• Who are you without work?

Resource:

"The Good Enough Job: Reclaiming Life from Work" by Simone Stolzoff 

More Information about Let Go and Be Free:

Want to learn more about Let Go and Be Free? Check out the Let Go and Be Free book series or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.

I’m not a medical expert. If you need help, please reach out to a medical professional.

Listen to the podcast on:

• Spotify

• Apple podcasts

• Google podcasts

• Amazon music

• RSS feed (copy and paste the link into your podcast app)

What is your relationship with work?

Is it a healthy one?

Or do you throw yourself into your work in order to validate your own worthiness?

Why do we overwork ourselves? And is it common for those of use who grew up in dysfunctional families with substance abuse and addiction to use work as a means to try and save ourselves?

In this monster episode, we'll go through this complex and difficult topic.

Resource:

"The Good Enough Job: Reclaiming Life from Work" by Simone Stolzoff 

More Information about Let Go and Be Free:

Want to learn more about Let Go and Be Free? Check out the Let Go and Be Free book series or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.

I’m not a medical expert. If you need help, please reach out to a medical professional.

Listen to the podcast on:

• Spotify

• Apple podcasts

• Google podcasts

• Amazon music

• RSS feed (copy and paste the link into your podcast app)

Are you afraid to rock the boat? Do you settle so you don't get hurt? Are you afraid to be your true self and fear that you'll be knocked down or fail?

Why do we limit ourselves? 

In this episode, we'll explore the reasons why we try to play it safe in life and how taking healthy risks can open doors to fulfillment and happiness.

More Information about Let Go and Be Free:

Want to learn more about Let Go and Be Free? Check out the Let Go and Be Free book series or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.

I’m not a medical expert. If you need help, please reach out to a medical professional.

Listen to the podcast on:

• Spotify

• Apple podcasts

• Google podcasts

• Amazon music

• RSS feed (copy and paste the link into your podcast app)

A change is season is upon us and it's a good time to reset, reflection, and recharge.

In this episode, we'll discuss the various steps to help you recharge:

• Take stock of who you are
• Challenge your assumptions (black and white thinking: "All is bad")
• Disconnect to recharge
• Make time for yourself
• How do you want to grow?
• Take a baby step to do that.

Resources:

• Read The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner.
• Need help? Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline. 

More Information about Let Go and Be Free:

Want to learn more about Let Go and Be Free? Check out the Let Go and Be Free book series or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.

I’m not a medical expert. If you need help, please reach out to a medical professional.

Listen to the podcast on:

• Spotify

• Apple podcasts

• Google podcasts

• Amazon music

• RSS feed (copy and paste the link into your podcast app)

What are healthy ways to handle conflict?

In growing up in an alcoholic and/or dysfunctional family, we might have learned lots of unhealthy ways to handle conflict, but not healthy ones.

Do you avoid conflict? Become an aggressor during one? Or play both sides against each other?

To exhibit healthy behaviors in resolving conflict, keep these skills in mind:

• Use "I" statements and not "you" ("You're wrong, you're bad, etc.")
• Take stock of your own responsibility and accountability: Did you do anything wrong? If so, admit it, and make amends.
• Have empathy for the other person.
• Be an active listener.
• If necessary, ask for time to regroup: Do you need a timeout so that you can be better open to talking?
• Set boundaries when necessary.

Resources:

• Read The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner.
• Need help? Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline. 

More Information about Let Go and Be Free:

Want to learn more about Let Go and Be Free? Check out the Let Go and Be Free book series or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.

I’m not a medical expert. If you need help, please reach out to a medical professional.

Listen to the podcast on:

• Spotify

• Apple podcasts

• Google podcasts

• Amazon music

• RSS feed (copy and paste the link into your podcast app)

A relapse could mean that you struggle with addiction (e.g., alcohol, food, drugs, etc.) or you have a relapse of dysfunction behaviors (e.g., lashing out, withdrawing, regressing, falling into codependent behaviors, etc.).

When you have relapse, assess what has happened:

• How do you feel?
• What went wrong?
• What did you do?
  • "I make a mistake" and not "I'm a mistake."
• Reach out for help:
  • Al-Anon or ACOA meetings
  • Contact a therapist
  • Attend a recovery program
• Use the skills and self-care tools you've been learning:
  • Meditate (here's a 10-minute meditation to help you)
  • Eat healthy, get sleep
  • Exercise
  • Write about your feelings
• Read through and apply the Twelve Steps to your life

You are not alone and you are worthy of love and happiness.

More Information about Let Go and Be Free:

Want to learn more about Let Go and Be Free? Check out the Let Go and Be Free book series or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.

I’m not a medical expert. If you need help, please reach out to a medical professional.

Listen to the podcast on:

• Spotify

• Apple podcasts

• Google podcasts

• Amazon music

• RSS feed (copy and paste the link into your podcast app)