Becoming a mother cracks you open – body, heart, identity. And in the wake of that, self-love can feel like a distant, even impossible, concept. Jess shares the raw truths of her postpartum experience – including a traumatic birth, moments of disconnect from her daughter, and the painful internal dialogue that resurfaced after becoming a mother.

But this isn’t just a story about struggle – it’s a reclamation. Jess invites us into the deeply personal journey of learning to love herself in the mirror again. She speaks to the invisible threads that tie our mothers’ self-perception to our own, and how our children become both mirrors and motivations for healing.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• The real emotional and nervous system impact of a traumatic birth
• How mothering can become a catalyst for self-love
• Why your kids need you to love yourself – and how to start
• Breaking the self-worth stories we’ve picked up from our mums.
• How self-love reshapes your identity, business, and boundaries

Reflective Invitation:

What if the most radical gift you could give your children is loving yourself? What if your mirror talk became the legacy you pass down? Jess invites you to begin – not perfectly, but truthfully – with one loving word spoken to yourself today.

Links:

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What if the “solution” you’re being offered for emotional distress comes with invisible costs?

In this conversation, Psychiatrist Dr Josef Doerrin takes us behind the closed doors of the FDA and pharmaceutical industry. From his early ideals of helping people heal through understanding and support, to the disillusionment he felt watching a medication-first model dominate the field, Josef reveals what most patients (and parents) are never told before starting psychiatric drugs.

We talk openly about:

• Why most emotional suffering is rooted in life hardship, not brain chemistry
• The commercial forces shaping medical education, public health messaging, and treatment plans
• The hidden, long-term risks of antidepressants and stimulants – especially for developing minds
• How emotional blunting impacts relationships, identity, and connection
• What informed consent really needs to look like

Whether you’re a parent weighing up medication for your child, someone who’s been on prescriptions for years, or simply curious about the forces shaping mental health care, this episode is an invitation to slow down, question, and reclaim your agency.

Key Takeaways:

• Psychiatric drugs can have serious, long-lasting effects – and those risks are rarely discussed openly
• Most depression and anxiety is driven by social, emotional, and environmental factors, not purely biological ones
• The current system is designed for efficiency and scalability, not deep healing
• Emotional blunting can quietly erode relationships and sense of self
• You have more choices – and more power – than you’ve been told

Reflection:

We’re not broken for struggling. Our lives are simply asking for deeper attention. And when we start from that truth, we can choose paths – whether medication or not – with eyes wide open, hearts intact, and our wholeness in mind.

Links and Resources:

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Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify

Most of us have been told at some point to “remember who you are” or “make decisions from your true self.” But what happens when you hear those words and… nothing comes? No answer. No spark. Just a blank space.

In this episode, I share a conversation with a client who felt exactly that way – and how we traced her way back to her own knowing through something as simple as choosing tea over coffee. We explore why big, life-changing decisions can feel impossible if we haven’t practised tuning into ourselves in the small ones, and how our survival self and soul self can lead us down completely different paths.

If you’ve ever felt disconnected from your true nature, stuck in the “shoulds” of the world, or terrified of making the wrong choice, this conversation will help you start rebuilding self-trust one small, aligned decision at a time.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why your nervous system resists big leaps without small daily practice
• How to spot the difference between survival self and soul self decisions
• A simple, everyday way to practise aligned choice-making
• The link between small decisions and big self-trust
• How to stop outsourcing your choices to “what’s expected”

You already know more than you think. Sometimes, it’s just about starting with the cup of tea.

Links and Resources:

Follow @jess.arachchi on Instagram

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Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify

What if the real issue in your relationship isn’t communication... but survival mode? In this deeply grounding conversation, I’m joined by renowned clinician and author Dr Stan Tatkin to explore why love alone isn’t enough – and what it really takes to build secure, lasting relationships.

We unpack how our nervous systems interpret safety and threat in partnership, why childhood adaptations resurface in adulthood, and the science behind why so many of us end up in repetitive cycles of conflict – even with the people we love most.

I share my own patterns of clinging, fear of rejection, and emotional self-abandonment, and Stan offers a radically compassionate lens: this is the human condition. There’s nothing wrong with you. But there is another way.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why your relationship struggles are likely nervous system responses – not personality flaws
• The myth of “working on yourself first” (and why true healing happens in relationship)
• The difference between secure and insecure attachment, explained simply
• How to parent without passing on the same attachment wounds
• Small, science-backed repair rituals to bring intimacy back (even after kids)

Reflection:

You’re not broken. You’re not failing. You’re just human – in a body, with a story, and a nervous system doing its best to protect you. If you’re stuck in cycles of disconnect, it’s not because you don’t love each other enough. It’s because love alone isn’t the glue. Secure functioning, repair, presence – that’s the real work. And it’s the most powerful kind.

Links:

• Follow @jess.arachchi on Instagram
• Join the Becoming Her list
• Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

From late-night reflections to one of the most pivotal decisions of her life, Jess explores what it really means to live from your soul self, the deeply aligned, fiercely wise part of you that knows you were made for more.

She unpacks the subtle ways we stay stuck in patterns that feel “safe” but are actually stifling, and offers a new lens for understanding your decisions, fears, and inner resistance, without shame.

You’ll hear:

• The moment Jess realised she was responsible for her reality, and everything changed
• The difference between survival decisions and soul-led ones
• Why discomfort doesn’t mean you’re wrong, it means you’re expanding
• A practical reframe to help you trust your next leap, even if fear is loud

This episode is a permission slip to stop calling yourself crazy, and start calling yourself courageous.

👉 Follow @jess.arachchi on Instagram

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🌿 Leave a review if this conversation stirred something in you

In this important episode of Let Her Speak, Jess sits down with clinical psychologist and outspoken mental health advocate Dr. Roger McFillin to unpack a confronting truth: the way we’re addressing children’s mental health is failing families.

With years of experience working with children and teens, Dr. McFillin shares what’s really going on behind rising diagnoses of anxiety, ADHD, and other behavioural labels — and why medicating the symptoms often misses the point entirely.

You’ll hear:

• Why many childhood diagnoses don’t address root causes
• The overlooked impact of trauma, attachment, and nervous system health
• How symptom-focused treatment keeps families stuck
• What parents can do to support healing at home
• A more compassionate approach that empowers both parent and child

This episode offers a grounded, heart-opening perspective for parents who feel like they’ve tried everything — and still feel like something’s missing. If you’ve ever questioned the system or wondered if there’s another way… this is the conversation you’ve been waiting for.

👉 Follow @jess.arachchi and @drrogermcfillin on Instagram

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In this powerful conversation, Jess sits down with transformational coach and NLP trainer Michelle Masters to unpack the unseen patterns shaping our lives — and how to break free from the ones we never consciously chose.

Together, they explore the emotional wiring behind people-pleasing, perfectionism, burnout, and other self-sabotaging patterns that keep women stuck — and reveal how those patterns aren’t actually ours to begin with.

You’ll hear:

• How emotional and behavioural patterns are passed down unconsciously
• Why most mindset work falls short (and what actually works)
• The deeper reason we repeat cycles, even when we want to stop
• Practical ways to shift old programming and update your ‘inner system’
• Why self-compassion—not willpower—is the real secret to change

This episode is for the woman who knows she’s not broken, but still finds herself stuck in loops she didn’t choose. If you’ve ever felt like you’re living someone else’s life — or trapped in a role that no longer fits — this conversation is your call to freedom.

👉 Follow @jess.arachchi and @michellemastersnlp on Instagram

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🌿 Leave a review if this episode gave you a new perspective

Burnout. We’ve all felt it—but what if we’ve misunderstood it all along?

In this powerful episode, Jess Arachchi breaks down the truth about burnout and why it isn’t just about doing “too much.” It’s about doing everything but the things that actually nourish your soul.

You’ll hear:

• Why traditional self-care routines often don’t work (and what does)
• The real cause of burnout most mothers never talk about
• How to know when your life is out of alignment
• The surprising link between nervous system fatigue and self-abandonment
• A new way to think about your purpose, your self-expression, and your self-worth—without needing to prove a thing

If you’re tired of trying to “fix” your burnout with routines, rituals, or checklists, this episode will offer the clarity (and compassion) you’ve been missing. It’s not about doing less—it’s about choosing more of what’s aligned.

👉 Follow @jess.arachchi and @nicolekalil on Instagram

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In this powerful conversation, Jess sits down with confidence coach and podcast host Nicole Kalil to unpack the real reason so many women still don’t feel “enough” - even after doing all the work.

Together, they call out the harmful myths around confidence, reveal the hidden conditioning behind perfectionism and people-pleasing, and explore how women can start building true self-trust from the inside out.

You’ll hear:

• The #1 lie about confidence that keeps women stuck
• Why “worthiness” work doesn’t always stick—and what to do instead
• How our obsession with being seen as nice, good, selfless is costing us our voice
• Practical ways to start trusting yourself, even if you feel unsure

This episode is your permission slip to stop performing and start living from truth, not approval.

👉 Follow @jess.arachchi on Instagram

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In this grounded and soul-stirring second episode, Jess Arachchi explores why so many mothers feel disconnected from joy—and how we begin the slow, gentle return to ourselves. Through personal reflection and client stories, Jess unpacks how survival mode becomes our default setting, and how compassion, awareness, and conscious choice can begin to bring joy back into reach.

You’ll hear:

• Why so many women lose touch with their joy—and don’t even realize it
• How your nervous system is doing its job, but not always in alignment with your soul
• The survival strategies you mistake for personality traits (and how to lovingly detach from them)
• A powerful two-part path to start reclaiming joy and inner peace

If joy feels distant and you find yourself asking, “What happened to me?”—this episode is here to remind you that nothing is wrong with you. You’ve simply been surviving. And now, you get to choose differently.

👉 Follow @jess.arachchi on Instagram

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🌿 Leave a review if this episode speaks to your soul