A lot of us live by a philosophy that we may not even be aware of. It’s called: Let me help you feel great while I feel miserable. Awesome philosophy, huh? We think it’s worth feeling like crap in order to have everything around us feel ok and controlled. But look at what you sacrifice for that to happen—and does it ever REALLY turn out ok? Are you free of resentment or do you feel like you’re owed something in return?

When you allow yourself to do things that fill you up, you start living from a place of value and positive sense of well-being INSIDE. There is a cost associated with living for others, and it won’t ever make you happy. There aren’t enough “atta-boys” to fill the void. The small amount of validation we get from making others happy is never enough, and it’s not worth the cost to ourselves. People pleasing is one of the most dissatisfying exercises on the planet. We’re constant at the mercy of others—their moods, issues, whims.

In the end, it doesn’t matter what other people think of you. Trite though it may seem, trying to please them won’t make you happy. On the contrary, there is a high personal cost to it. Is it worth sacrificing your happiness for theirs?