You want to be who you are, but you’ve learned that conforming is safer. Perhaps you felt shame as a kid for being “different” or doing something “wrong” so you brought that into adulthood where you did everything you could to avoid that feeling. You’re smart when you’re with your smart friends, and cool when you’re with the cool ones, blending in to whatever the group dynamic is. This can happen with counter-culture as well, thinking you’re being weirdly yourself. Then you accidentally say something “normal” and your weird friends think you’re… well… not weird enough. This need for conformity doesn’t originate in society—it comes from inside and your fear of rejection. At some point in your life being YOU felt risky.

It is certainly fine to be around other people with similar interests. Nothing wrong with that. It’s when you feel the need to hide parts of yourself in order to belong that it becomes inauthentic. Your tribe needs to be created from within, even if it’s a party of one. And guess what? It won’t be a party of one forever because you’ll start attracting other people who accept themselves as they are, even if they are totally different from you. Being you creates the space for opportunities. When you deny who you are to gain acceptance from others, you build prison walls around yourself.

For the people who listen to my podcast, I don’t want them to be like me. I want them to be like THEM. My greatest wish is for everyone to be who they are and let their freak flag fly. There is no joy or freedom in hiding parts of yourself. If you enjoy peanut butter and pickle sandwiches, eat them out in the open! If you love jazzercise, rock those leg warmers! If you tell bad jokes, be known as the person who tells bad jokes… it’s ok. When you are authentically yourself, you allow other people to be authentically themselves. Isn’t that a tribe you’d rather belong to?