Letting Go Doesn't Mean Forgetting | Ajahn Dhammasiha | Dhammagiri

A family has come to share merits with their mother/grandmother/great-grandmother, who they lost a few days ago, at the age of 96 years.

In the Dhamma discussion, Ajahn Dhammasiha explains that 'Letting Go' in the way the Buddha actually meant it differs redically from letting go out or heedlessness, negligence and 'I just can't bother'.

Often we feel like there's something wrong with letting go, because we may only be familiar with letting go based on carelessness and neglect. For example, it would be outright cruel to let go of a close loved one in the sense of quickly completely forgetting about them.

However, this is not what happens when we let go based on widom and insight into impermanence. The Buddha actually stongly encouraged to remember past relatives. He considered it a duty to share good karma with them regularly.

Even an Arahant, who has completely let go of all attachments, still has all the wholesome emotions. Only the defilements of greed, hatred, delusion and so on are abandoned. Wholesome emotions like loving kindness, compassion, gratitude, respect, rejoicing in goodness, and so on, are still there, and are even reaching their highest potential, once they are no longer impeded by the defilements.

For example the Buddha himself: Although he had zero attachments to anyone or anything after the experience of Sambodhi, he was actually better and more effective in looking after his relative than we can ever hope for. He succeeded in guiding basically all close relatives, and many of the more distant relatives, to freedom from death and suffering.

Have we been able to do anything like that for our relative, who we are attached to?

Therefore, we should never fear letting go based on wisdom, as we will be even better in practising kindness and compassion to loved ones and all beings without attachment!

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