A couple of months ago, I sent out a survey asking which lies people struggle with the most—today’s lie came in #1: “It shouldn’t be this hard to change.”  The next two? “I’ll never change” and “I can’t do this anyway, so why bother?”

What’s interesting is that those second two lies come after repeated failure. But today’s lie—“It shouldn’t be this hard to change”—actually causes the failure.

Why? Because if we believe change should be easy, we won’t put in the work required for real transformation. Let’s dig into this idea and replace the lie with biblical truth.

This lie shows up most often when we’re trying to break a habit—but typically only at the very beginning of the journey. Once you’ve worked on change long enough, you learn (from experience!) that change is supposed to be hard. But if you’re new to the process or haven’t seen much progress yet, you’re far more likely to believe the lie, It shouldn’t be this hard to change.

So where does this belief come from?

We live in a world that constantly tells us: Buy this product. Start this program. Take this course. It will be easy! Marketing promises quick, effortless transformation. That seeps into our thinking, so we assume change should just “happen”—no struggle, no sacrifice. It shouldn’t be hard to change…

Sometimes, in the church, we unintentionally absorb the belief that spiritual growth should be easy, too—almost effortless. We think if we go to church, join a Bible study, or attend a small group, we’ll naturally glide into spiritual maturity.

But that’s not how the Bible describes transformation. It uses words like training, fighting, resisting, disciplining, and battling.

Real change takes intentional effort, spiritual weapons, and daily engagement with God.

Many of us think trying our hardest means “showing up,” like my husband did one day in high school when he told his mom he got a C on a test.

“Well, you tried your best,” she said—except he hadn’t studied at all. Lesson learned? That effort meant simply being present. But effort is more than that, especially in spiritual growth.

Breaking a stronghold, uprooting a generational sin, rewiring long-held thought patterns, or resisting a habit you’ve practiced for decades—all of that is hard work.

If someone told you to run a marathon in six months, you wouldn’t think, “I’ll just show up that day.” You’d know it required effort, planning, discipline, and sacrifice. Yet we rarely apply that same mindset to our spiritual or emotional habits—even though the Bible clearly portrays transformation as a spiritual battle.

If I’m trying to change a stronghold, a generational sin, a long-term habit, or a behavior fueled by years of thinking, it will be extremely hard—and that’s completely normal.

Hard doesn’t mean impossible. Hard doesn’t mean God isn’t with you. Hard doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. Hard simply means you’re fighting a real battle.

Hebrews 12 is a perfect picture of this struggle. It reminds us that resisting sin is painful, that discipline doesn’t feel good in the moment, and that even Jesus sweat drops of blood in His fight against temptation.

But it also reminds us that discipline produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those trained by it (Hebrews 12:11).

That harvest is coming—if we don’t give up.

When it comes to working hard on growth in the areas God wants us to change, that hard work looks like lots of renewing our mind—multiple times a day. 

Towards the end of the podcast episode, I share some different ways to renew your mind for the lie, It shouldn’t be this hard to change. I give an example for Scripture meditation, truth journaling, and using the Tired of the Struggle questions from my book, Renewing of the Project.

Here are the truths I shared in the podcast as examples of what you could write down when you’re truth journaling the lie, It shouldn’t be this hard to change. The last truth is a truth journal entry from my 2002 journal! :

Belief: It shouldn’t be this hard to change.

Truths:

Listen to the podcast for more insights and to renew your mind along with me!

If you have a friend who is struggling with change in some area of their lives, please share this post or podcast episode with them.

The post Lie: It Shouldn’t Be This Hard to Change appeared first on Barb Raveling.