Have you ever noticed how quickly a desire turns into a justification?

That looks good—so I should eat it.
That sounds fun—so I should do it.
I feel like it—so why not?

This lie shows up everywhere, especially in the habits we struggle with: overeating, overspending, over-scrolling, overworking… basically anything where desire takes the wheel and drives us somewhere we later regret.

Often people tell me, “I don’t know what I’m thinking. I can’t pinpoint the lie I’m believing.” This makes it hard to truth journal because we need to begin with a lie if we want to put the truth to it.

In today’s Christian Habits Podcast episode, I cover a lie you can always use to truth journal whenever you feel like breaking your boundaries with a habit: I want to do this, so I should.

At its core, this lie is about desire: we want something. When we believe this lie, we assume that desire equals permission.

But desire isn’t a good decision-maker.

Culture constantly tells us: Follow your heart. You deserve it. Live your truth. And while that might work when our desires are healthy, it’s a terrible strategy when our desires lead us toward sin, addiction, struggles with our health and finances, relationship problems, and regret.

God never designed desire to be our leader. He designed it to be something we steward.

Romans 13:14 gives us a completely different approach:

“Put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh in regards to its lusts.”

That means:

1. Put on Christ
Talk to Him. Ask for help. Sit with Him instead of your temptation.

2. Make no provision for the flesh
In today’s words: Make your habit hard to do, and obedience easy to do.

Ask yourself:

When am I most tempted?

How can I create roadblocks that make indulging difficult?

Where can I move, limit, or remove access to the habit?

For example: If your phone derails your day, stop keeping it nearby. No social media before a certain time. Put it in another room during work hours.

Small barriers create big freedom.

Here are a few truths you can use when you’re truth journaling today’s lie:

Just because I want something doesn’t mean I should do it.

My life is better when I live by design, not desire.

One little indulgence isn’t harmless—it reinforces the idea that I have no boundaries.

If I did everything I felt like doing, my life would be a mess.

God’s desires for me lead to joy, health, and freedom.

Transformation doesn’t happen by willpower. It happens by renewing your mind—catching the lie, replacing it with truth, and practicing that truth one decision at a time.

And over time?

Desire stops driving the car. Wisdom does. Truth does. Faith does. God does.

And that is when real change begins.

Listen to the full episode on the Christian Habits Podcast! I’ll give you a chance to renew your mind and go more in depth on the topic. I also share three of my own journal entries on this lie – dating back to 2006!

The post Lie: I Want to Do This (So I Should) appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Have you ever wondered how to study the Bible in a way that actually feels approachable—and even enjoyable? In this episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, I had the joy of sitting down with Ellen Krause, Ashley Armijo, and Taylor Mitchell—the inspiring mother-daughter team behind the Coffee and Bible Time ministry—to talk about their new book, The Easy Bible Study Method.

These three women are passionate about helping others connect with God through Scripture in a simple, grace-filled way. Whether you’re brand new to Bible study or have struggled with consistency, this conversation is packed with encouragement and practical tools that can help you develop a quiet time that fits your life and strengthens your faith.

This conversation is a gentle reminder that Bible study doesn’t have to be complicated or intimidating. When we approach God’s Word with open hearts and simple tools, we find joy, peace, and the life-changing presence of Jesus—right in the middle of our busy, everyday lives.

Listen to the full episode on the Christian Habits Podcast!

ASHLEY ARMIJO is cofounder of Coffee and Bible Time, a ministry that helps women learn how to delight in God’s Word and thrive in Christian living. She is an alumna of the Moody Bible Institute with a Bachelor of Science in Integrated Ministry Studies. It is Ashley’s passion to teach women how to study and delight in God’s Word whether that is online through Coffee and Bible Time or opening up her home to young women in the community.

ELLEN KRAUSE aka Mentor Mama, is cofounder of Coffee and Bible Time with daughters Ashley and Taylor. She hosts the CBT Podcast, which equips people to delight in God’s Word and thrive in Christian Living! Ellen has been involved in women’s ministry for over 20 years and mentors women worldwide through CBT. Her MA in marketing and her years in corporate America help CBT flourish.

TAYLOR MITCHELL is cofounder of Coffee and Bible Time. She holds a bachelor’s degree in pre-counseling and has devoted herself to extensive academic and personal study of the Bible. She is passionate about helping women apply biblical principles to their everyday lives, guiding them to grow closer to God through His Word. With a deep commitment to integrating spiritual and mental health, Taylor encourages women to embrace their true selves and feel fully loved.

The post How to Develop a Consistent Quiet Time – Interview with Coffee and Bible Time appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Do you ever set goals and fail to reach them? I used to do that all the time. The only goals I completed each year were my recreation goals! Over the years, though, I’ve learned some tips to help me be more successful with reaching goals. On today’s podcast, we’ll discuss ten tips about how to achieve your goals this year. I’ve asked my friend and fellow podcaster and writer, Dr. Melanie Wilson, to help me with this podcast as she is the master at completing goals!

This will be an on-demand video course with 17 lessons, three live Q&As (in October 2025), journaling questions, assignments, and an opportunity to find accountability partners. It also has a community feature so you can connect with others in the class.  Click here to find more about the course.

Melanie Wilson is a Christian psychologist turned homeschool mother of six.  She is also the author of a fascinating book called A Year of Living Productively. For one year, Melanie made a commitment to try a different productivity strategy, app, or program each week. In the book she shares how it went that week and what she liked and didn’t like about each of the productivity strategies.

The post Encore: 10 Tips to Achieve Your Goals appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Do you ever feel like you’ll never get caught up? I know that feeling because I’ve struggled with procrastination for most of my life. Here’s what I’ve discovered: it’s a two-fold process to break free. First, we need to renew our minds and change the way we think so we actually want to do our dreaded tasks. And second, we need to learn practical strategies and time management tools to help us get caught up. I talk about both in my new course, How to Stop Procrastinating, but today I want to share something that’s often overlooked—the subtle lies that make you procrastinate. Let’s uncover ten of the biggest ones together. (I share 40 in my new course.)

I go into these in more depth in my podcast episode, so I’ll just record a simple truth here for each lie.

Truth: There is nothing perfect in life except God. So if I’m waiting for perfection, I’m working on an impossible goal. I subconsciously know it’s impossible and that makes me want to procrastinate! I will be far more likely to do hard things if I have more of a “Let’s just give this a try and see how it goes” attitude. Besides, God is in the habit of taking people who aren’t naturally good at what He called them to do (think Moses) and then equipping them for the calling. He can do that with me too!

Truth: If God wants me to do this, He’ll help me do it. I can’t do it perfectly. I can’t do it without struggle, and I can’t do it without the possibility of failing, but I can do it! It will be easier if I break it into steps first and start with the smallest step I can take without dreading it. A step I can actually make myself do.

Truth: Just because I don’t feel like doing something, that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it. What if I didn’t feel like feeding my newborn baby? I would still do it! In the Bible, God often called people to do things they didn’t feel like doing. Remember Jonah? On the other hand, sometimes we should stop doing things we don’t feel like doing if there isn’t a good reason to do them. It’s good to take time to think about those things and talk to God and others for wisdom.

Truth: It will never be easier to tackle than it is right now. The longer I put off problems, the bigger they get. Just think of putting off an uncomfortable conversation in a relationship. The longer you put it off, the more the problem grows, and the harder it is to bring it up. I have a whole lesson on how to solve problems promptly in my How to Stop Procrastinating course.

Truth: Often, I only work under pressure so that’s why I think I work better under pressure! Sometimes this works but other times I run out of time and end up with a project I’m not happy with because I didn’t have enough time to do a good job on it.

Truth: Often in life, all I have is little blocks of time, so if I want to actually do this, I need to adjust my expectations and do this in little blocks of time. I wrote my first book, Freedom from Emotional Eating, in 15 minute blocks of time because I had a houseful of kids and that’s all I could make myself do.

Truth: Sadly, we can see from Scripture that this isn’t true. Think of Jonah, Moses, Jeremiah, and Elijah. God often calls us to do things that don’t go smoothly,  that require a lot of effort on our part, and that we don’t want to do! Plus on a practical level, even if we like our work, there are days we’re not crazy about it.

Truth: I need to be careful not to let the urgent take over the important. I do that by making priorities (which we’ll talk more about in my procrastination class).

Truth: It usually takes far more than a minute, and even if it does only take a minute, that minute destroys my concentration. It can take ten or fifteen minutes to get it back again. I’m far better off making boundaries with my phone and not jumping on it whenever I feel like it. (Granted, this is easier said than done. I’m hoping to make a class on how to do this at some point – as soon as I learn how to do it myself!)

Truth: I may not be a person who follows through right now, but God can help me change. Also, I do follow through in some areas of my life, just not all areas. Thankfully, I am a work in progress!

If you’re interested in making progress in overcoming procrastination, check out my new online course below.

Listen to the full episode on the Christian Habits Podcast!

This will be an on-demand video course with 17 lessons, three live Q&As, assignments, and an opportunity to find accountability partners (at the Q&As). Register by September 22, 2025 to take advantage of early bird pricing.   Click here to find more about the course:

The post 10 Lies That Make You Procrastinate appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Feel like you’ll never get caught up? I used to feel that way. Either I had a million things to do and wasn’t doing any of them, or I was busy with all the easy tasks and ignoring the big ones because they were too hard, too boring, too scary, or I didn’t know how to do them. I felt overwhelmed and depressed—and I thought I’d never be able to change.

But here’s the truth: God can help us change. He helped me, and He’ll help you! 

My new How to Stop Procrastinating course will give you an opportunity to go to God for help with change.  We’ll tackle overcoming procrastination from both a spiritual and a practical standpoint.

The course is designed to gently and practically guide you to a place of action and intention, so you can build momentum, stay consistent, and get caught up.

This 4-week course includes:

This is your chance to move from feeling stuck to feeling empowered. You don’t have to keep living this way. Take the first step today and discover freedom in Christ!

Right now, you can get the course at the special Early Bird price of $27. But don’t procrastinate (I had to say it! ) —this price is only available until September 22nd. After that, the price goes up to the regular price of $37.

Enroll Now

The post How to Stop Procrastinating: Early Bird Enrollment Open appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Have you ever faced a season so heavy you wondered how you’d get through the next hour—let alone the next year? Author Linda Dillow knows that place well. Today on the Christian Habits Podcast, we discuss eight “heart skills” that have helped her cling to God when life was unbearably hard from her new book, Hope for My Hurting Heart. Prepare to gain so much wisdom about dealing with grief and hardship from this episode.

Linda is no stranger to writing about trusting God in difficult seasons. Her book Calm My Anxious Heart has encouraged thousands of women to lay down their worries and embrace contentment. But she admits she thought life might get easier as she got older. “Didn’t happen in my life,” she says wryly.

The challenges came hard during COVID. Two of her four children—both daughters—were seriously ill, one undergoing chemo and the other also facing cancer. Travel restrictions and quarantines meant she couldn’t be with them when they needed her most. “I sat on my suitcases and cried,” she recalls.

Then came the unthinkable: sitting beside her oldest daughter’s bed and watching her die. “I was in my seventies, and I hadn’t had cancer. I would have taken it from both my daughters if I could. Instead, I was watching them suffer—and my sons-in-law and grandchildren suffer.”

In that season, Linda felt herself sliding from despair toward depression, despite reading the Word and worshiping. “I said, ‘God, I don’t want to slide down this slide. Show me what to do.’”

She sensed God whisper: Make a declaration of hope before Me.

So, on a yellow legal pad, she wrote three commitments:

That written declaration became her anchor. Whenever new waves of grief came, she would read it aloud: “I have hope in my God, and these things are true.” It kept her from going down the slide into despair.

Linda also tells the story of her longtime friend Valerie, who has endured decades of debilitating, undiagnosed illness, a painful divorce, and extreme dietary restrictions. Valerie’s response? She began memorizing the names of God—first ten, then fifty, then a hundred—declaring them daily.

“She’s a woman of peace and faith, focused on others,” Linda says. “It proves what you teach, Barb—that we’re transformed by the renewing of our minds.”

When Linda’s daughter Joy died, Valerie gave her a handmade “tree” displaying the hundred names of God. It now sits where Linda kneels to worship, reminding her to declare God’s character.

One of Linda’s heart skills is lament—something she calls “worship in a minor key.” She points out that much of the Psalms is David weeping before God.

“In our Christian culture, we want happy-clappy worship,” she says. “But God invites us to be honest with Him about our pain.”

Linda believes lament is a vital step in moving from loss back to trust. In Hope for My Hurting Heart, she guides readers through a journey from hope and love, down through lament, and back up to trust, encouragement, and praise.

This season also brought a deeper intimacy with her husband, Jody. “We call it the weeping intimacy,” she says. “Is it something you want to sign up for? No. But we’re closer today because of it. Our whole family is closer because we’ve wept together.”

Her granddaughter, a poet, even processed her grief by writing a book of poetry about her mom. “It’s not fun to go down into those hard places,” Linda says, “but if we stay on the surface, we never really heal.”

If you’re walking through pain, Linda’s story—and the eight heart skills in her book—offer a way forward. Not a quick fix, but a steady path of clinging to God’s hope, even when your heart is breaking.

You can find Hope for My Hurting Heart on Amazon.

 Listen to the full episode on the Christian Habits Podcast!

Linda Dillow is a bestselling author and a respected Bible teacher and conference speaker. Her books include Calm My Anxious Heart, Intimate Issues, and What’s It Like to Be Married to Me? Linda is the mother of four children, including one who is now with Jesus, and grandmother of ten. She and her husband, Jody, lived overseas for seventeen years and now make their home in Monument, Colorado.

The post Linda Dillow: Hope for My Hurting Heart appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Have you ever felt like making friends used to be easy—but now it feels downright impossible? If you’re longing for deeper connection, author Kristen Strong gets it. In this episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, Kristen shares practical advice and hard-won wisdom about how to make friends when it doesn’t come naturally anymore from her book Desperate Woman Seeks Friends: Real Talk About Connection, Rejection, and Trying Again for the Friendships You Need. Whether you’re navigating a new season of life or just feeling a little lonely, I think you’ll walk away from our conversation with encouraged.

Kristen grew up in a small Oklahoma town, surrounded by extended family. “I didn’t have to work hard to make friends,” she said. Even in college, she moved with a group of familiar faces. But that all changed when she transferred colleges to follow her husband, Dave, during his military assignment.

“I just assumed I would have instant friends,” she said. “I thought the Lord would just apparate them to my doorstep like in Harry Potter.”

Instead, she found herself isolated for the first time in her life.

It was a turning point. “I had to learn how to connect,” Kristen said. “And now, I’ve written the book I wish I’d had back then.”

These days, many of us are in the same boat Kristen was in. Life changes, seasons shift, and even our culture doesn’t make it easy. Kristen pointed out that in Western society, independence is often valued over interdependence. “We like our space,” she said, “but that can convince us we don’t need friends.”

And social media? “It can scratch the itch for connection, but it doesn’t satisfy,” Kristen shared. “It’s like eating breadcrumbs all day instead of sitting down to a nourishing meal.”

Kristen offers three pillars for cultivating friendships:

“Friendship rarely happens by accident anymore,” Kristen said. “You have to show up where people are—and keep showing up.”

That might mean joining a regular group at church, taking a class, or saying yes to that coffee invite, even when it feels awkward.

She encourages people to think practically: “What do you already enjoy? Is there a way to do it with others?”

“Opening your home is like opening your heart,” Kristen told me. And it doesn’t have to be impressive. “People don’t care how clean your house is. They care that you made room for them.”

She’s hosted friends for frozen pizza or a glass of water on the porch while the kids played.

“Not every person I’ve had in my house became a great friend—but every great friend has been in my house.”

Kristen is intentional about praying for friendships—and encourages others to do the same.

“Jesus had friends. If He needed friends, we certainly do. And God will be faithful to answer that prayer,” she said. “But we have to partner with Him in the process.”

I asked Kristen what she would say to someone who’s weary of putting themselves out there—especially if they’ve been hurt before.

Her response was both gentle and bold.

“I’ve been there. I’ve said, ‘Women are tricky. I don’t know if friendship is worth it.’ But I don’t want someone to miss out on what God has for them—or for others to miss out on her.”

She reminded us that even Jesus was betrayed by a close friend. “He understands,” she said. “Take your fears and frustrations to Him.”

Whether you’re twenty-five or fifty-five, building new friendships takes effort. “You’re not in a petri dish of peers anymore,” Kristen explained. “The older you get, the more intentional you have to be.”

But it’s worth it—for your emotional and physical health. Loneliness, she pointed out, has been shown to be as dangerous as smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.

And even short-term friendships can become long-term blessings. “You never know what you’ll receive in that season,” Kristen said. “Even if someone’s only in your life for a short time, the connection can last.”

Kristen has leaned on her friends through difficult seasons in recent years. “I don’t know how I would have handled it without them,” she said.

She compared it to the story of Aaron and Hur holding up Moses’s arms during battle. “My friends have done that for me—and I’ve done it for them. It’s a gift.”

And sometimes, those friendships sharpen us. “A good friend once pointed out a critical spirit in me,” she said. “I had to admit she was right, and it helped me turn a corner.”

If you’re feeling isolated or discouraged, you’re not alone—and you’re not out of options.

As Kristen reminded us: “God works through both the verse and the voice. We need Scripture, but we also need people.”

So take the risk. Make the coffee date. Open your door, even if it’s messy. And pray for the courage to try again.

You might be surprised by the friends He brings your way.

Listen to the full episode on the Christian Habits Podcast!

Kristen Strong, whose authored books include Girl Meets Change and When Change Finds You, also compiled the 90-day devotional, Praying Through Loneliness. She writes as a friend walking alongside you in your lonely season to a more helpful, hopeful destination. She loves sharing laughs, long talks, and meaningful stories with family and friends while holding a cup of strong black tea. She and her US Air Force veteran husband, David, have three beloved adult children.

The post Kristen Strong: How to Make and Keep Friends appeared first on Barb Raveling.

What if the secret to getting your home in order wasn’t just about having more storage—but about asking better questions? That’s what I discovered in my latest conversation with artist and author Whitney English. She joined me on the Christian Habits Podcast to talk about her book Organize First, Decorate Second: How to Go from Clutter to Creativity—and the deeper life lessons behind our desire to get organized.

Whitney English may be best known for her art, but she also has a gift for systems—and for simplifying the big picture so you can take your next small step.

“When I started writing this book,” she said, “I thought it was going to be about decorating. But the phrase organize first, decorate second came to me while I was trying to tackle a project in my own home. And I realized, if I couldn’t teach people how to organize, I couldn’t really help them decorate either.”

That honest realization led her on a journey of self-examination: how do we form habits that actually work? And more importantly, how do we live them out?

As Whitney shared, “I had to analyze my own habits. Because what good is a plan if you never get around to executing it?”

Whitney is the first to admit that she’s great at dreaming and planning. “I love being in the messy middle,” she said. “That’s where all the discoveries happen. But it’s also where I tend to get stuck. Hitting ‘publish’—or putting the paintbrush down—is the hard part for me.”

So what changed?

“I had to learn how to finish things,” Whitney said. “Now, on days when I don’t feel like doing anything, I just ask: What can I finish today? That one question gets me moving.”

Whitney shared the simple questions she asks herself when she’s feeling overwhelmed. These aren’t just productivity tips—they’re mindset shifts:

“What’s not working?” It’s a question that helps us step back from the chaos and see the big picture. And as Whitney pointed out, asking questions like these brings us back to the present moment—where we can actually do something about it.

That shift in perspective helped her identify a pain point in her afternoons: “The after-school hours weren’t working. So we started the tradition of having 4:00 tea. It gave us a moment to breathe, and it totally changed the rhythm of our day.”

Whether it’s clutter on your desk, chaos in your calendar, or an idea that’s stuck in your head, these questions can help you move forward. “They make you reverse-engineer your reality,” Whitney said. “Instead of focusing on the end goal, you come back to the now. And clarity lives in the now.”

Even though Whitney is deeply practical, she’s also deeply creative. She loves beauty—especially the kind that tells a story.

“You get into meaning when things are beautiful,” she said. “It adds story, and story adds meaning. And that’s something we’re all craving right now.”

But that doesn’t mean you need to spend a fortune to create beauty. Whitney encourages her readers to start with what they have: rearrange the furniture, thrift something unique, or simply look at your space with new eyes.

As she says in the book, “Sometimes, it’s not about organizing more. It’s about recognizing the systems you already have—like your morning routine—and deciding whether they’re actually working for you.”

And when they’re not? You tweak them. You finish what you started. You live the life you planned on paper.

Organize First, Decorate Second isn’t just a guide to get organized—it’s an invitation to look at your life with fresh eyes, to tell a better story with the things you keep, and to ask the questions that lead to clarity, freedom, and peace.

If you’d like to see more of Whitney’s beautiful work—both her art and her practical wisdom—you can check out her website and blog at whitneyenglish.com.

Listen to the full episode on the Christian Habits Podcast!

Whitney English believes that anyone can live a beautiful life. She believes that gratitude is the birthplace of joy, that people matter, that love is the answer, that if you’re real you can’t be ugly, that everyone is creative and some of us have just forgotten, and that it’s worth trying to be a better version of yourself today than you were yesterday. She has boot-strapped two businesses to seven figures, has a degree in interior design, studied management at Parsons in New York City, and has had her work featured in O magazine, The Wall Street Journal, and on the Today Show (twice). She was featured as one of Country Living magazine’s Women Entrepreneurs in 2008. One of her favorite dreams-come-true, though, is her husband David, and their three children. 

The post Whitney English: Organizing Your Home, Life, and Work appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Do you ever find yourself dwelling on the negative? Or complaining a little too much? Today’s guest, Chip Ingram, knows exactly what that’s like. In fact, his powerful journey through chronic pain and hardship is what led him to write his book, I Choose Joy: Change Your Perspective, Change Your Life. In our conversation, Chip shared how renewing your mind—a biblical practice that transforms how we think—became his pathway to experiencing joy in the midst of overwhelming circumstances.

Chip’s story starts with something so ordinary—playing basketball. But that game ended with a herniated disc, setting him on a seven-year journey through chronic pain, multiple surgeries, and long, grueling rehab sessions. During those years, Chip was pastoring a large church, managing four services every Sunday, and trying to push through life as if everything was normal.

But life wasn’t normal.

Over time, Chip’s perspective darkened, though he didn’t see it until his wife gently pointed it out by asking, “Do you recognize how negative you’ve become?”

That question stopped him. He didn’t want to admit it, but she was right.

In what Chip describes as the sovereignty of God, he was invited to speak at the Billy Graham Conference on Philippians 1—Paul’s letter written while chained under house arrest. Paul’s words radiated joy despite his circumstances, and that intrigued Chip. Paul wasn’t pretending life was easy. He was chained, facing possible execution, yet his focus was still on God and others.

Chip realized he needed to retrain his mind, to deliberately change his perspective.

“I basically went into training to renew my mind. I had to retrain my thinking to get perspective, and as I did, it revolutionized my life and my joy—even in the midst of great pain.”

This wasn’t about wishful thinking or ignoring hardship. It was about forming habits that would lead to joy.

As the son of a math and science teacher, Chip began to see a pattern in Paul’s letter:

C (Circumstance) + P (Perspective) = E (Experience)

Chip explained that we have very little control over our circumstances. But we have 100% control over our perspective. And our perspective will shape our experience.

He discovered four questions from Philippians 1 that help shift our perspective from victimhood to joy:

Chip learned to ask himself: Am I focusing upward (on God and gratitude) and outward (on others)?

“As soon as I focused upward and outward, my perspective changed.”

Ask, “How can God use this?” instead of “Why is this happening to me?”

“God’s purpose isn’t to make me happy and pain-free—it’s to fulfill His greater plan.”

Chip saw how easy it is to build our hope on “if-then” statements: If I get married, if I succeed, if my health returns…

“But hope grounded in Christ is unshakable—even when circumstances don’t improve.”

“We often expect life to go well if we’re faithful, but Scripture tells us it’s been granted to us not just to believe in Christ, but also to suffer for His sake.”

Chip emphasized that choosing joy isn’t easy, instant, or natural. It’s a spiritual discipline that takes intentional, repeated effort.

“You can develop a habit of seeing life through a negative lens, but you can also train yourself to choose joy. You have to go into training for the habit of joy.”

And, as C.S. Lewis put it, “Joy is the serious business of heaven.”

Chip also shared that small daily choices matter—like how we start our day. If the first thing we do is open our phones and flood our minds with the world’s noise, negativity will set the tone. But if we start by focusing on God, we can experience a mindset shift.

Perhaps the most beautiful part of Chip’s story is what God did through his pain. Out of this difficult season came a ministry that now serves pastors worldwide. What started as an encouraging phone call during rehab turned into an international movement that has trained over 400,000 pastors across continents.

“My circumstance didn’t change, but God’s purposes were fulfilled in ways I never could have imagined.”

You can hear Chip’s full story, the four questions that can change your life, and his practical wisdom in the episode: “Chip Ingram: Choosing Joy When Life is Hard” on the Christian Habits Podcast.

And if you’d like to dig deeper into the daily habits that help you experience joy, you can find his book, I Choose Joy, wherever books are sold.

 Listen to the full episode on the Christian Habits Podcast!

Chip Ingram is the teaching pastor and CEO of Living on the Edge, an international teaching and discipleship ministry. A pastor for more than thirty years, Chip is the author of many books, including Holy Ambition and The Invisible War. Chip and his wife, Theresa, have four grown children and twelve grandchildren and live in California.

The post Chip Ingram: Choosing Joy When Life is Hard appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Do you often find yourself giving “helpful suggestions” to your husband? Are you silently annoyed with him much of the time? Or have you made a habit of criticizing him either out loud or in your mind? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you’ll love this conversation with Ann Wilson, author of How to Speak Life to Your Husband (When All You Want to Do is Yell at Him). Ann brings so much wisdom, humility, and hope to this episode. Prepare to walk away encouraged and challenged in the best way.

Ann’s journey toward understanding the power of her words started with what she thought was going to be a normal speaking event alongside her husband, Dave. What she didn’t expect? Dave’s confession to the audience: “Sometimes husbands feel that the moment we walk through the door, our wives are booing us.”

Ouch.

Ann was stunned—and a little defensive. But instead of dismissing it, she asked God a hard question: Am I booing my husband? The answer was yes.

That moment sent her on a path of personal change. She began to see that what she thought was “helping” her husband actually came across as constant correction. As she put it, “God began showing me that I was praying for Dave to change, but God wanted to change me.”

And that’s when everything started to shift.

Ann started using the reflection question, What’s it like to be married to me? It’s a sobering thought—and a helpful one. She realized her thoughts and internal monologue about Dave had turned negative. “I’d get stuck in this spiral, thinking about all the ways he wasn’t seeing me or showing up.”

But instead of venting or stewing, she sensed God nudging her: What would happen if you prayed for him as much as you complained about him?

That one question was a game-changer.

She started to notice how even her everyday speech had a pattern: “You should do this” or “Have you tried that?”—instructive, not encouraging. She laughs about it now, but it was a wake-up call that her way of communicating wasn’t life-giving.

One day, she paused before dinner and intentionally thanked Dave in front of their kids. His response? “I saw the book you were reading, and I know you said that because you read it in a book, but I don’t even care. It felt so good.”

That’s when she began to understand how deeply our husbands—like all of us—long to know: Am I doing okay? Does she believe in me?

Ann shared a fascinating study from the Arbinger Institute, which showed that we communicate more from our way of being than from our words or behavior. “So even if you’re saying the right thing,” she explained, “your husband can feel it if you don’t believe it.”

Ann also dove into the Hebrew meaning behind Genesis 2:18, where God says He will make a “helper suitable” for man. The word “helper” in Hebrew is azer, the same word used to describe God as Israel’s rescuer in battle. And “suitable”? That comes from kenegdo, meaning “to stand toe-to-toe.”

“Being a helper isn’t weak,” Ann says. “It means standing side-by-side, back-to-back with your husband. Fierce, protective, and obedient to God’s calling—even when it’s hard.”

One theologian told her, “When a man stands toe-to-toe with his wife, he sees, in her eyes, the man he could become.” That line really stuck with both of us. What are our husbands seeing in our eyes?

When it comes to knowing when and how to say something hard, Ann now starts with prayer: “God, should I bring it up? If yes, when and how? If not, should I say anything—and if so, what?”

She admits she still sometimes feels the urge to help, especially with her adult kids. “But now, I advise less and pray more.” She even fasts and prays regularly with a group of women—something she recommends for anyone wanting to grow spiritually and relationally.

And the fruit of those changes? One of Ann’s friends started a gratitude journal for her husband, writing out one thing each day she appreciated about him. On his birthday, she gave it to him. He read it and cried. Why? “Because I feel like I’m constantly failing,” he said, “and when I read her words, it motivated me to be the man she saw instead of the man I felt I was.”

That’s the power of speaking life.

If you’re longing to be a better wife and love your husband well—even when it’s hard—you can check out Ann’s book, How to Speak Life to Your Husband (When All You Want to Do is Yell at Him). You can find it on Amazon or wherever books are sold. And if you’d like to connect with Ann, you can find her and Dave at @daveannwilson on Instagram and Facebook.

Let’s keep asking God to help us see the greatness in the people we love—and to speak life every chance we get.

 Listen to the full episode on the Christian Habits Podcast!

Ann Wilson has served with her husband for more than twenty-five years, cofounding Kensington Community Church, speaking at FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember®, and hosting their own marriage conferences across the country. They live in the Detroit area, and they have three grown sons, CJ, Austin, and Cody; three daughters-in-law; and seven grandchildren.

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