Have you heard about that product on Amazon that has 500 5-star reviews? The one you didn’t buy because it has just 1 really bad review? If you’re like Rebecca and Jason, you listen to the complainers before you purchase. Right on! Rebecca gets ripped off with a fake tan so she takes life by the balls and becomes a certified sprayer of the tan. FYI, you can grab your balls but you should never spray your balls. You’re welcome. Now all Rebecca’s friends will have an eternal tan in the sunshine state. Let that sink in like a foot cream you keep using despite your foot looking like it’s moldy and about to fall off (like some lady complained about on Amazon).

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Advice: (wo)man up and don’t rely on your bartender to bail you out. More advice: call for a life line whilst sitting on the shitter when you have one of those tough, coming out side-ways, poos. We aren’t talking Winnie here. Jason admits gorging himself on the diverse menu at Cheesecake Factory but Rebecca can’t see past the advertisements in between her choices of Tex Mex Egg Rolls and Buffalo Wings. More, more advice: bring an umbrella, knee pads, and head gear when on a river boat unless you like golden showers then play ball? Jason is quite impressed with Rebecca’s knowledge of American phrases that really have no meaning yet somehow do have meaning. Join these two on your drive and allow them to either entertain you or completely gross you out.

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40th EPISODE!!!

Who is your equal? It depends on what bathing suit you're sporting at the local water park.  Rebecca and Jason discuss people who answer phones when they have ZERO chance of ever hearing what you are saying, the last remaining AOL account and SUPERFAN (a/k/a stalker), Sandy. Caramel apples and cakes will get you anything Sandy. #belikeSandy. Heed this Public Service Announcement: DO NOT GO to Key West, with kids, unless you plan on being caught on video falling off a paddle-board like a wrecking ball falling into a kiddy pool and then being forced to watch that video (in support of that kid’s “creative side”). There’s also the fun of getting stranded in mangroves or watching man girls sober at a drag bar. Just no. 

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Rebecca doesn’t quite understand (nor does she like) the “no sugar” part of dieting. Jason brings her a coffee with no sugar and with just one quick look he sees the utter disgust on her face. Quickly he reminds her that she “gets” to drink coffee (listen to Episode #38). In this episode, their topics bounce between surviving a horror movie, the lady that got “lost”, and weird shit that people steal.  Hey, who is up for rushing Area 51? But shhhhh, don’t tell the aliens OR the government.  We might just walk-in on a gang bang. LIFE HACK you don’t have (but you GET to) order at the first window at a drive-thru.

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You (clap) need (clap) to (clap) listen to (clap) this episode. Actually, you GET to listen to this episdoe according to Rebecca’s new outlook on life. You’re welcome. No matter if you like to brawl at Disney, wear a murse, or sip from deadly metal straws, you’ll love this episode. And if you don’t, well then you’re no better than those damn Ross labels that are a bitch to get off. 

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A Tennessee boy would rather go to prison for stabbing his brother than ride in the car with him for 8 hours. Sorry kid, we hate 95 in Miami but prison isn’t peachier. While prison boy is settling in, Rebecca, Jason, and friends, made a prison break at the local escape room (thank you Red Button Escape). Here it’s safe to drop that bar of soap. Wink, wink. Also in this episode, Jason dives deep into Rebecca’s mind by asking her to finish random sentences. Look at that girl’s big ____________________. 

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Phones down, Escape Rooms, and Silent Parties

The time has come for Jason and Rebecca to experience an escape room together, but first pre-drinks at her house. Surrounded by friends, they clip on their mics, pour some drinks and do what they love doing…talk about everything and anything. Some of their friends chime in as Jason & Rebecca talk about not trusting people who lay their phones face down on the table and how weird silent parties can be. 

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Knowing when to hold’em and when to fold’em doesn’t just apply to card playing anymore. We are talking about long awkward hugs. Being a Monday morning, Rebbeca and Jason talk about things that annoy them. Hairy apples, feet dragging, and ATT’s bullshit. But before you think they’ve boarded the the Negative Nancy Train, take a listen. They do have some positive vibes they’re sending out including a hug shout out to Sandy who made our day, week and year! 

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Wakey, wakey sweetpea….rang no alarm ever. Unless you’re a complete weirdo according to Rebecca, who also swears that brushing your teeth without first using water on the brush is a sin. Dead wrong. Jason doesn’t see eye to eye on this but yet again, opposites do attract, sometimes. Now listen up, fold your laundry right out the dryer, keep records of your passwords, and water your dang toothbrush. Do these things and all will be well in the world.  

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Here we go again! We’re like a bad rash, just when you think we’re gone we flare up for a special occasion. Got the itch? Well we got you covered. The driving-duo celebrate Rebecca’s birthday in her car. Special, we know. But look at the positive, at least we get more birthdays than mosquitos. Meanwhile, Jason’s getting mixed signs from the Universe. A guard rail tells him to read the bible and a bus tells him he’s a winner. Good or bad signs? We’ll find out. 

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