The common cold returns with the good old 1 2 punch, sending Jason into a TKO. Man down! But the show must go on so Rebecca visits Jason at home to record this episode in his kitchen. Jason, a self proclaimed HOMO-path and cheap ass, downs Mucinex-ish while Rebecca surrenders her body to antibiotics to kill the common cold. They talk about catfish and the Easter Bunny, agreeing that they both are fake, cost you money, and neither belong on Christianmingle.com. Rebecca doesn’t care for Easter much but starts to change her mind after Jason shows her there is more to this pastel holiday than rabbits and candy…there’s a thing called mimosas at brunch.  

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Jason and Rebecca cough their way through another day in traffic. They consult the good ole’ Magic 8 Ball and just like that they’re told it’s not gonna be a good day. Fuck you Magic 8 Ball. They forge on by sharing the perfect way to eat a PB&J and contemplate who the genius was that found cheese(es). But wait, there’s more! You get unsolicited advice on how to “listen” to a person vent and not provide any useful or thoughtful advice. You know the annoying “this too shall pass.”  Their lack of world history becomes apparent when Jason states that Hitler was a crackhead and Rebecca thinks Hitler died of a STD.  A quick Google search (after the podcast recording ended) appears that Hitler committed suicide.  In an effort for them not to sound like total idiots, it may be possible that Hitler was a crackhead who killed himself because he had a STD.  Ponder that one.  After that sinks in…listen to the podcast for the prize-winning secret word(s) Rebecca slips in.  Text us if you think you got the word(s) and we’ll send you a gift card for $25.00 so that you can purchase a highly overpriced coffee on them. Only 1 winner. 

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Rebecca and Jason dare to turn on the mics after a long day at work. The Miami sun game is strong even at 6pm so squinty eyed and gridlocked, Rebecca explains pegging and how to pronounce it. Speaking of getting nailed, she got a flat tire the other day but roadside assistance forgot the elbow grease at home. Instead she suffered through some roadside coaching. Is chivalry dead? Times can be tight when you're paying for a new tire so treat yourself to a free breakfast at your local hotel. 

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BFFs reunite after having a break last week. Rebecca proclaims her fascination with sister wives a/k/a polygamy a/k/a not in Rebecca’s house. She digs a traditional household, you know, the kind with one husband, Ikea furniture, and a friend who loves to assemble her furniture for her. Needing a pick-me-up after an Ikea trip, Rebecca tells the tale of needing to be rushed to McDonalds after drinking a Redbull. She quickly learns that one drive-thru lane is as good as two. Confused yet? You should be. So are the aliens. Thats why they dare not visit a place where prostitutes make more money than drug dealers. NEW! Listen to see if you can catch our secret word in this podcast. Text (305-521-7699) or message us on Facebook/Instagram with what you think the word is and you might win a little somethin’ somethin’. 

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Rebecca starts to think there might be something to Mercury Retrograde although she skirted around its influences so far. Perhaps she’s been spared because she can’t remember the name to save her life. Metro Retrograde? Facebook and Instagram aren’t the only thing going down though. For some college students, and their parents, the hand of justice came down faster than you can say DON’T DROP THE SOAP. Never scam your way into college, shave your balls with clippers or sign contracts during MR. 

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Jason and Rebecca try something new, podcasting on the way home, a daring move when all mental focus is needed on the South Florida streets at night! You can tell quickly that they are more hyped to leave work than the other way around. Memory loss becomes a hot topic. Wait, what were we talking about? Of course there are some things they wish they could forget...awkward, creepy, and flat out bad kissing. Are you a tongue sucker or lip nibbler? Maybe it all can be blamed on Mercury Retrograde anyway. My bad, sorry not sorry. 

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Daylight savings time is the straw that broke the commuters back (so did Rebecca’s sneeze). The driving duo are down right frustrated with adulting, and the kids who think they can parent the parents! Rebecca and Jason come to the conclusion that if life isn’t working out the way you planned, then you’ve gotta take matters into your own hands. Eat comfort food, let your belly hang out, binge watch, and elect a gay president! 

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A potential winning lottery ticket sits at home while Jason & Rebecca sit their ass in traffic pondering if this commute may be in vain. They come to realize that talking about winning is just a major letdown when you don’t actually win. But don’t fear, moral is restored with a sticky joke, some crime talk, and the story of a man singing Christmas carols in March…at 5:30am…in front of a gas station. Rebecca officially has no desire to get movie recommendations from Jason, or have him protect her in a dark alley. 

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When you spend most of your day in traffic, cutting corners is a must! We ain’t talking about running over curbs and street corners. We are talking about home remedies (life hacks in millennial speak). Rebecca and Jason say DO walk up an escalator, DO tape your face, DON’T use a tractor to sneak up on radish thieves and DO listen to their podcast. Hacks are not whack and either is this episode. 

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