Life Shift | True Stories of Healing, Grief & Loss

Some decisions cannot be made with a chart. Joy Kong knows this because she tried. Three days and three nights of careful, logical reasoning, and still she could not talk herself out of what her gut already knew: she needed to leave China and find her own life, even if she could not explain why.

What followed was years of fighting. A visa rejection that most people would have taken as a sign to stop. An isolating marriage in a country where she knew almost no one and had no safety net. And a quiet moment on the floor of her apartment, squatting and sobbing, where something in her finally admitted how much pain she had been carrying.

Joy did not just survive those years. She built something from them. A medical career. A stem cell academy. A company. A memoir. And a way of seeing the world that holds both the difficulty and the beauty at the same time.

What You'll Hear:

Guest Bio:

Dr. Joy Kong is a UCLA trained, Stem Cell Doctor of the Decade 2021 and triple board certified anti aging physician. She is the President of the American Academy of Integrative Cell Therapy and a leading voice in regenerative medicine and longevity science. Beyond her medical work, Dr. Kong’s personal journey includes immigrating from China, escaping an abusive marriage, and rebuilding her life from scratch after arriving in the US with almost nothing. She brings a grounded perspective on resilience, integrity, and the body mind connection, while helping audiences understand stem cell therapy with clarity and realism.

Website: https://joykongmd.com/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@joykongmd

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starting over, leaving home, abusive marriage, finding identity, immigrant resilience, escaping control, rebuilding a life, inner strength, freedom, soul survival

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Have you ever built a life that looked exactly right from the outside, and felt completely hollow from the inside? This episode is for you.

Colette Jane Fehr grew up watching her parents argue in a house where conflict felt dangerous. So when she fell in love with a man whose family never raised their voices, she thought she'd finally found safety. They married, built a beautiful life, had a daughter. And somewhere in the space between the perfect house and the quiet dinner table, Colette started disappearing, one unspoken need at a time.

The shift came three weeks after her daughter was born. Colette was sitting on the couch, postpartum and unraveling, while her husband watched golf and sipped wine beside her. She didn't yell. She didn't storm out. She just looked over and understood, quietly and completely, that she was utterly alone. That moment didn't end her marriage. But it started the long, honest work of figuring out who she actually was, and what she actually needed.

Colette eventually went back to school, earned her degree in counseling from Rollins College, trained for years in emotionally focused couples therapy, and built a career helping others find the language for the things they'd been too afraid to say. Her book, The Cost of Quiet, is drawn directly from that work and from her own story.

What You'll Hear:

Colette Jane Fehr is a licensed psychotherapist, author, and speaker based in Orlando, Florida. She specializes in emotionally focused couples therapy and has spent nearly 15 years helping individuals and partners learn to communicate from a place of vulnerability rather than avoidance. Her book, The Cost of Quiet, is available wherever books are sold. She also writes a weekly Substack newsletter, Secrets from a Therapist, and can be found on Instagram at @colettejannfehr or at colettejannfehr.com.

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people pleasing in marriage, emotional disconnection in relationships, finding your voice, postpartum anxiety, couples therapy, self-silencing, divorce and reinvention, emotional attunement, the cost of quiet, self-connected communication

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This is a bonus drop, a little different from our usual Life Shift episode.

I just launched a new show called Trivia, Sort Of. It's lighter, it's playful, and it's less "guess the answer" and more "here's a strange, fascinating fact, wait really?" I wanted to bring it to you here first, since you're already part of this community.

In this bonus episode, I share a quick intro to the new show and then play episode one for you right in this feed.

Two episodes of Trivia, Sort Of are live now, with a new one dropping every Tuesday. If you enjoy what you hear, subscribe wherever you listen: https://pod.link/6787199863

Thanks for letting me share something new with you. I'll see you back here soon for the next Life Shift episode.

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There are moments in life when everything falls apart at once. The job, the relationship, the car, the sense of direction. And then, in Laurie Collister's case, the house itself. A neighbor's forgotten french fries started a fire that took nearly everything she owned. But somehow, a floor-to-ceiling shelf of three hundred handwritten diaries made it through the smoke without a page touched.

Laurie had been journaling since she was eighteen. Not for posterity, not with any plan. Just to survive, to process, to let the pressure out. She never imagined those entries would one day be the map that led her home to herself. But reading through them, volume by volume, she began to see her own life the way a novelist sees a character: clearly, curiously, with a kind of tenderness that had been hard to access from the inside.

This is a conversation about what it means to excavate your own story, to find the thread that was always there, and to finally stop measuring your life against a template that was never built for you.

What You'll Hear:

Laurie A. Collister is a memoirist, former counselor of seventeen years, and caregiver to her 97-year-old mother. Her debut memoir, A Different Kind of Vow, traces her winding journey through career, connection, and identity, drawing from decades of personal journals to uncover what she calls her sacred contract. Her second memoir is due in July 2027. She lives in the Pacific time zone with her mother's very large dog nearby. You can find her and her books at lauriecollister.com and on Amazon.

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finding yourself through journaling, house fire life change, memoir writing healing, loneliness and self-discovery, starting over in your 30s, reading your own story, identity outside society's template, self-compassion through writing, caregiving and personal boundaries, life purpose and calling

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There's a version of your life where you take the safe path. The familiar one. The one that makes sense on paper. And then there's the version where you say yes to something that sounds completely ridiculous, and that version turns out to be the one that teaches you the most.

David S. Bernknopf spent over 20 years at CNN, covering the world, building a career that became his whole identity. When new ownership came in and the culture shifted, he made a decision, quietly and quickly, the way journalists learn to do. He walked away. Then he moved to Alaska on a cold call from a stranger. He didn't know anyone there. He'd been once, for five days. But something about the absurdity of it felt right.

This is a conversation about what happens after the identity you've built for decades gets set aside. About the kind of loneliness that settles in slowly, that you normalize before you realize it isn't healthy. And about the two words from his adult kids, that would be a pretty cool thing, that quietly set him free.

What You'll Hear:

Guest Bio:

David S. Bernknopf is a veteran journalist and television news producer who spent more than two decades at CNN, where he rose to executive director of news planning. After leaving CNN, he continued his investigative journalism career in Washington, D.C., before accepting an unexpected job running the only investigative news unit in the state of Alaska. That two-year experience became the basis for his debut novel, Two Years on Another Planet, a fictionalized account of life, loneliness, and reinvention in the last frontier. He now lives in Colorado, consulting on documentaries and, as he puts it, living a project-oriented life.

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career identity loss, reinvention after 60, loneliness and isolation, saying yes to the unknown, life after CNN, moving to Alaska, writing your first book, permission to change, journalism and purpose, children as anchors

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Some questions live quietly inside us for so long that we forget they're there. Not because they don't matter, but because we've learned to keep moving without an answer. That's where this episode begins.

T. Alex Blum was adopted as an infant into a privileged East Coast family. He always knew he was adopted. It just wasn't something anyone talked about. And so he carried that sealed envelope through decades of building a career, raising kids, and making a full life, never quite realizing the weight of what he was holding.

Then, in 2019, a message arrived on 23andMe. His niece. And behind her, three full biological brothers he'd never known existed. What followed wasn't a dramatic unraveling. It was something quieter, and somehow more profound. It felt like relief. Like a question finally exhaling.

What You'll Hear:

Guest Bio:

T. Alex Blum grew up in New York City, attended boarding school, and built a long career in commercial TV production and marketing consulting. He and his wife Andrea run a consulting firm in San Diego and have a blended family of five kids. His memoir, An Accident of Birth, explores his experience as an adoptee and the unexpected discovery of three biological brothers. It was released in May 2025. Find him at talexblum.com.

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adoptee identity, biological siblings, 23andMe discovery, adoption and belonging, finding family later in life, sealed adoption records, late-life connection, DNA relatives, untethered feeling, origin story

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Maybe you've always known something was a little off, like there was a frequency everyone else could tune into that you just couldn't quite find. Rob Lynch felt that from the time he was a kid, a quiet, persistent sense of difference that he couldn't name. When he was eleven, a Brady Bunch episode and a careless comment to his mother unlocked a secret his family had kept since the beginning. He was adopted.

For decades, Rob absorbed that truth and moved on. He built a life, raised kids, wrote a novel, loved people, lost people. The adoption became background noise, something other people found more interesting than he did. But then lockdown arrived, his daughter did a DNA test, and a stranger reached out through a genealogy website. The message was simple: I think I'm your first cousin. And the thread, once pulled, didn't stop.

What followed was three Sundays of pacing, a phone call he almost didn't make, and a voice on the other end that said: I looked for you for so long. Can you ever forgive me? Have you had a good life? This episode sits with what it means to find a missing piece, and whether the shape of your life changes once you finally hold it.

What You'll Hear:

Guest Bio:

Rob Lynch is an author, mental health advocate, and animal rights supporter based near Toronto, Canada. His debut novel, Vudon Caliber, is available on Amazon. He is a passionate music fan, film lover, and someone who believes, along with Ted Lasso, that we are never finished versions of ourselves. You can reach him on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/official_voudoncaliber/.

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adoption identity, biological mother reunion, late discovery adoptee, DNA ancestry test, finding birth parents, adoptee mental health, lockdown genealogy, belonging and identity, family secrets, recovery and healing

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Some people spend their whole lives searching for the thing that animates them. Rich Harwood found it the hard way. He was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis in 1960 and told he had three to five years to live. His family went on a death watch. Doctors called him a lemon. He grew up in hospital beds, learning early what it felt like to be invisible, manhandled, spoken about but never spoken to.

What Rich did with all of that is not a story about triumph over adversity in the bumper-sticker sense. It's quieter and more honest than that. He decided, at eight years old, to stop calling for his parents in the night. Not out of bitterness. Because watching them fall apart hurt him more than the fever did. That decision became the seed of everything that followed, a life built around seeing people, hearing them, and refusing to let dignity be a thing you have to earn.

Nearly forty years ago, Rich started the Harwood Institute for Public Innovation. Today it operates in fifty states and forty countries. His work is about bridging divides, restoring belief in one another, and helping communities come together and actually get things done. The line from that sick little boy watching a clock tick through the night to the work he does today is not a straight one. But it is a direct one.

What You'll Hear:

Guest Bio:

Rich Harwood is the founder and president of the Harwood Institute for Public Innovation, a nonprofit dedicated to helping communities bridge divides, build shared responsibility, and restore belief in one another. He started the organization at twenty-seven, when everyone told him not to. It now operates in fifty states and forty countries. He has written nine books, most of them with the word hope somewhere in the title. He lives his faith, loves his family, and still wakes up before 4:30 every morning ready to make something of the day.

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chronic illness and identity, finding purpose through suffering, hope and community building, childhood trauma and resilience, cystic fibrosis survival story, being seen and heard, civic renewal, mentorship and belonging, transforming pain into work, the burning bush and calling

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Some stories ask a lot of you. This is one of them. But it gives something back too.

Karen Diskin-Dickson grew up in a house where silence was survival. From her earliest memories, she carried fear the way other kids carried backpacks, always aware of what the next moment might bring. She was a twin, a straight-A student, a girl who rescued stray dogs, and a child who believed it was her job to protect her sisters from what was happening inside their home. She never got a carefree childhood. She got a crash course in endurance.

When she was 12 and a half, the weight of it all became unbearable. What followed was a moment by a river, a dog who changed everything, and a voice she had never heard before that told her she was loved. She chose to believe it. And somehow, improbably, that choice held.

This episode traces what happened next. The escape. The years of silence. The therapy that helped her learn to play. The confrontation with her father at 24 finally freed her from fear. The decision, later in life, to move her elderly parents into her care, not out of obligation but out of grief for the mother she had never had, and a hunger to finally learn how to be someone's child. And the foundation she now runs with her sisters, helping trauma survivors understand that it's not what's wrong with them. It's what happened to them.

What You'll Hear:

Guest Bio:

Karen Diskin-Dickson is a retired nurse, EMT, Reiki master, grandmother, and co-founder of the Remarkably Resilient Foundation, which she runs alongside her sisters. She is the co-author of Remarkably Resilient: Community Matters, published in 2019. Karen speaks publicly and volunteers with incarcerated individuals, helping trauma survivors understand their own responses and find a path toward healing. She lives with her life partner and four grown children nearby. You can reach her and explore her work at www.remarkably-resilient.com.

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healing from childhood trauma, generational abuse, breaking the cycle of trauma, surviving childhood neglect, trauma recovery journey, choosing love after abuse, ACEs and resilience, trauma informed healing, finding joy after hard things, incest survivor story

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Maybe you've spent years showing up as a slightly different version of yourself depending on who was in the room. Maybe you learned early that being liked was safer than being known. If any of that lands, this conversation is for you.

Peter Bailey grew up carrying something heavy: the feeling that something in his family was broken, and that it was somehow his job to fix it. That inherited sorrow shaped him into a kid who crossed the outside of a bridge over a six-lane highway just to feel like he mattered. It shaped him into someone who drank and people-pleased and performed his way through his twenties, until one night, sitting at a typewriter with a beer beside him, something in him finally said, this is going nowhere.

What happened after that, including sobriety, Joseph Campbell's hero's journey, 45 years of leadership work across 50 countries, and a new book called The Epic of You, is a story about what becomes possible when you stop running from your own chapters and start reading them differently.

What You'll Hear:

Guest Bio:

Peter Bailey is the President of The Prouty Project, a strategic planning and leadership development firm based in Minneapolis. He is also the author of the newly published book The Epic of You- Reframe Your Past to Navigate Your Future.

Bailey’s personal story — from challenges to triumphs, travel to transformation — becomes a living example of how obstacles can shape our identity and fuel our growth. Whether you’re standing at a crossroads or simply wondering “What now?”, The Epic of You helps you see your past with fresh eyes and your future with fresh purpose. Book and Ted-x website: www.peter-bailey.com Prouty Project website: www.proutyproject.com

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sobriety journey, hero's journey, people pleasing recovery, self-esteem and identity, Joseph Campbell transformation, leadership and vulnerability, emotional intelligence, disease of comparison, reclaiming your story, life shift moment

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