Like a Mother

If you don't use it, you lose it. I'm talking your sex life. Sex is an integral part of being a woman, yet so many single moms don't have a regular routine (and yes, this can include with yourself!). 

In this show I talk about why it is so critical to maintain your sexuality, especially for single moms. I help listeners get over their Madonna-whore complex (you can be wonderful mother AND a sexy, adult woman!). I give tips for how to make that happen (including having sex for sex's sake -- not every partner has to be marriage potential). And I give sexy advice to my callers:

Robin Is ready to get her groove on with her wonderful new boyfriend, but as a sole-custody parent with no local family support, she has childcare challenges. I help her get over this hurdle by digging into her real fears about intimacy. 

Chantel Has questions about sharing your own trials and failures as teaching lessons for your children. I offer tips on using what is the most powerful teaching tool to help our kids make good decisions -- and bring the family closer. 

Do you over-explain? If so, it's bad: it undermines your objective, whether it is negotiating in business, love or friendships. Over-explaining is a sign of insecurity and self-sabbotage and you gotta knock it off! I share examples of how I've fallen victim to my own urge to explain away my success, and give tips on how to curb your habit, once and for all.

Caller Niki asks the age-old question: When is the right time to introduce your boyfriend to the kids (and meet his kids). I help her think through her hesitation (hint: it ends well). 

I won't bore you with a financial lesson, but what Wall Street billionaires know can help you create the life of your dreams: You cannot grow if you do not take risk. In fact, not taking ANY risk is the greatest risk of all! In this show I talk about how I am transitioning out of a successful freelance writing business into an information product model. It is scary as  hell. But you know what is even more scary? Sticking to what I know. Why? A) The market for freelance writing is in the toilet. Not branching out is pretty much guranteed recipe for poverty. B) If I don't take a risk and develop my ideas, I will regret that forever. That is the scariest of all: A life of regret. 

So take that risk. Take a measured risk. A small one. See how it feels. Maybe it didn't work out as you'd hoped. Maybe it worked out better! Either case, do it again. And again. Make measured risk a part of your everyday life. 

In this episode I help:

Crystal She's overwhelemd wondering whether she should take her 12 year-old son out of school and with her on the road as she embarks on a life of publishing, public speaking and entertainment. Turns out, that life is not yet ralized -- she's just dreaming. My advice? Hold your horses, lady! 

Chancel This poor mom is about to kill her 13 year-old son and his snotty mouth. What can she do? We brainstormed ways for this otherwise good kid to take on more leadership roles in volunteer work. 

In this episode I explore procrastination -- the thing you avoid most is usually the same thing you need to address most. For me this includes all kinds of things, including the mess of digital photos of my family I have never organized. Why? I worry if I see my kids' lives laid out in a picture album I will see clearly the summary of our lives -- and that what I see will not be enough. 

I had a poignant conversation with caller Dawn. She is a successful business owner and mom of young kids going through a divorce. She first asked how to manage her time, but we quickly realized she needed support in dealing with her feelings. "Everyone sees that I have it all together, so they never ask me how I am," she said. I so identify with her! But we all are human, vulnerable. She needs to unravel and deal with the grief and stress around her relationship ending. She agreed, tearfully, that she will call her dad, who she describes as "a great guy" but with whom she is not particularly close. This could be the beginning of a great new chapter for Dawn, including a deepening relationship with her father. 

You're taught that good people accept everyone. That doesn't work! Otherwise we'd all be a bunch of Burning Man-going, Kumbaya singing bisexuals. I share my experience dating a wonderful man whose drinking seemed excessive. In the past I would have tried to save him, change him and -- ultimately -- not accept him for how he was (buzzed). By truly accepting him for who he is I was able to also accept who I am, what I need and the boundries I need to draw. We broke up, and I was able to be at peace with that.

In this episode I also help these callers:

Maureen is stressed out leaving her young daughter with a nanny. I help her accept that she is really just feeling guilty for being a working mom. Time to let that go, Maureen! 

Phyllis doesn't smoke or drink, but got that special feeling when meeting a man who drinks -- and in fact was drunk on thier single encounter! Phyills! That's not going to work! But it is useful to accept that those feelings are a fanatastic tool for resurrecting feelings that may have been sleeping -- and harness them for motivation to find a sober dude. 

The minute women become mothers they often shut down sexually. It's no wonder - women are expected to be EITHER the Madonna or the whore. There are few (if any?) examples of sexually fulfilled mothers.

I happened to find myself single at the same time I became a mother, so I was free to explore my sexuality in a surprising time of my life -- and have had an amazing experiences and learned so much about myself. I beleive all the physical, emotional and social changes that come with motherhood make us primed for sexual awakenings. I urge you to embrace your feminity and sexual life to be the best, whole woman and mother. 

On Episode 10 I help these women get their GROOVES on: 

Kadama wants to know how to rekindle her sex life with her husband now that they have kids (um, you don't have to leave the house and hire a sitter to get laid! You're married to the kids' dad!!).

Carrie is a newly single mom who embraces her sexuality (yay Carrie!) but is feeling a little squemish about her new, awesome boyfriend staying over. We work it out. 

The law of the land is that it is wrong to judge. BUT EVERYONE JUDGES EVERYONE ALL THE TIME. Not only must you accept that judging is natural and healthy - doing so helps people know how to behave, or challenge social norms. But there is no better way to grow, heal and get what you want in the world than openly embracing others' judgments.  

I share my own experience listening to a man I dated share his observations of me on a date. It stung, but showed me I wasn’t really ready for a relationship. A mom friend assessed my parenting and her judgments hurt – but showed me things I needed to see.

I help Robyn face the realities of her weight problem.

Danielle learned she should listen to her married friends’ criticisms about her dating (and go out with the choker again).

Jennifer showed ME a thing or two about delivering judgments to others.

Just like you, I want 2014 to be awesome. I want my kids to thrive, I want more money and a big, meaningful, romantic love! But to get new things from the world, I have to let go of old ideas.

In this episode, I share my quest to change my love and professional lives. I also help Helen become a Broadway star, Angela come to terms with her son's autism, and Megan get over her working-mom guilt and pursue dreams of being an interior designer!

I have been shocked recently to learn that women in their 30s are still lying about their age! But being misleading for the sake of career or romantic advantage is alive and well -- and I understand the pressure (kinda), as I explain in my tale of meeting a hot guy online, then getting psyched out when I found pics of his gorgeous -- and skinny -- ex-wife.

I debate with my illustrious guests who lie about their ages!

Susan Silver -- aged "between 50 and death" -- is a former staff writer for "The Mary Tyler Moore Show," "The Bob Newhart Show," and "Maude." She currently hosts "Susan Says" on RobinhoodRadio.com, an NPR affiliate.

Marilyn Russell has reduced her age by a decade for the past 10 years for the sake of professional advancement and snagging younger men. She is the morning show host for 95.7 Ben FM in Philadelphia.

Women everywhere tell me about their awesome idea for a new business or ways they can excel their careers. But they do nothing. In this show you'll learn why you're stuck and tips on how to invigorate your idea -- NOW. Otherwise you will be resentful, your family life will suffer and the world will miss out on your greatness.

Guests:

Deborah Jackson, founder of PlumbAlley.co, a marketplace and crowdfunding platform for female entrepreneurs.

Miki Agrawal, serial mellenial entrepreneur, founder of WILD restaurant in Manhattan, Thinx - a stain-resistant and beautiful panty, and author of Do Cool Shit (HarperCollins).