The worst Friday The 13th "in fuckin YEAZ.'" This Week In Open Mics. (It's like old times again! Now I just need dates for dating stories/tales from dating hell!) I had a productive President's Day, despite the torrential rain. I saw Crime 101 and it certainly wasn't Crime 1-0-FUN. I had a high profile, high stakes mission at work this weekend. Lotta presh. Robert Duvall died, and I think maybe his soul waved at me/tapped me on the shoulder as he left this Earthen plane.

In 2026, I legitimately have to worry about my dentist taking political vengeance on me. The Big Game™, and Chopper Fest out in Ventura county. Then I spend the last 10 minutes telling you how good NEXT WEEK's show is gonna be.

I open the show pondering why our default setting is "sloth" instead of "activity," and how/why nature abandoned us on this one. I go into great detail explaining how this new Bruce Springsteen "Streets Of Minneapolis" song is the worst collection of a human voice and instruments together ever recorded in human history. I feel bad for the fat lady from Overboard., 40 years later. I put a bow on my thoughts on "Send Help," the new Sam Raimi movie. (Go fucking see it) I did my first off-brand open mic set in many months, and have thoughts about it. And then I met with Dr. Eric Rocha and the nefarious Virzi Triplets to go see Jim Norton at the Comedy Store, one of our favorite comedians.

Polish Brandon, co host of the Liquor License podcast joins me for a special episode where we talk about a myriad of tantalizing topics, including: rap videos and videos we wacked it to, the old Pickle Factory in Depew, Brandon's elderly father visiting LA, further analyzation of "the new Hollywood," comics that are good for 30 minutes but not 60 minutes, midget analyzation, and whether or not the Carls Jr by my place is any good. It's some real hot shit.

Im officially in preproduction for Sex In Your 40s, a comedic short I devised. The He Man trailer, and the Oscars being about as legitimate as an Employee Of The Month award from McDonalds at this point. I went to see a local comedy show, and it reminded me why I stopped doing local comedy. Coalesce? More like BLOW-alesce. I got my heartbroken, but qui bono; who benefits? The audience, because it means "more terrible dating stories." I went on one to see Jackass 2 at the New Beverly, details inside. Song Sung Blue? More like Song Sung BLEW.

Minutes from the big meeting with a Hollywood producer. At least Alto Knights didn't have De Niro trying to convincingly beat someone up on screen when he's 79 years old again, like in The Irishman. Kathleen Kennedy has stepped down as head of Lucasfilm. I saw a movie in theaters for every day of the 3 day weekend: Badlands, Dead Man's Wire, and We Bury The Dead. I have thoughts and elaborations on all of them, if you can believe it.

Iphone updates have done nothing but make our phones undeniably worse and more complicated for 20 fucking years. Del Taco? More like HELL Taco, and I officially retire from Cherry Coke if it's coming out of a soda fountain. The last time you used a payphone was the last time you used a payphone. The opening five minutes of the Naked Gun reboot was about as funny as a child's cancer ward. I spent an unfathomable amount of time at California mandated gun safety courses this weekend, but in between I found time to hate watch The Alto Knights.

The final days of my Christmas beast coast vacation extravaganza in enchanting Buffalo, NY. I went to see Marty Supreme, and something happened that has never happened to me in a movie theater in my entire life. (Tantalizing!) A requiem for the plastic bag.

People are still consciously going to see Avatar movies, and if it's not a harbinger of the ultimate collapse of our society, I don't know what else is. I'm thrilled that DiCaprio is apparently playing Al Pacino in Heat 2. Ax throwing and driving…range'n. The Billy Joel documentary. Bugonia. Buffalo, new years, and my brudder's house things. That's a wrap on 2025, doggie! (How'd you do?)

Accidental hangover. The art muze-zeeyam. Christmas shenanigans. Christmas movie round up. Travels. The Pee Wee doc. Florida shit. Kiss my ass. Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukah.