No one knows how to write TV shows OR songs anymore, apparently. (Lucky us) We're up to two white male protagonists in a new Star Wars movie?! The earth might spin off its axis!! I saw that new movie "Weapons" and have many thoughts, then Bokes, Mrs. Bokes, and I travel to Las Vegas to hang out with Billy Biohazard at the Punk Rock Museum. It was a glorious occasion that I spend way too much time talking about. (Can you believe it?) Finally, the eternal Los Angeles conundrum: "Rats or Mexicans?"

Chipotle Incompetence, and at this point, I should almost make a separate podcast dedicated to complaining about gyms. (Im SO sorry) The Bore Of 1812, and a comically angry, tiny, Italian would-be assassin, lost to history…until now. (It's a good one)

Lukester: The eternal Familiar Stranger. No one drinks at 8pm here. Liam Neeson and Pameler Anderson are apparently an item, and I have thoughts about it. Fantastic Four had a massive audience drop off in its second week, and I'd be lying if I didn't say it made me "low key" happy. (As the kids say) I saw the Robert Altman movie "Nashville," and really wished I hadn't.

Why would the expensive wireless headphones I bought actually work? I went to the Deftones themed bar event in downtown LA this weekend hoping to meet chicks, and it went about is as well you probably expect it did. I saw the movie "Eddington" and 10 minutes of The Fantastic Four, so you don't have to. Lungs update: "Go fuck yourself (basically)" – My Doctor. The Arnold nod. Motorcycle madness.

"War is hell." (Seriously) Big update at Golds Gym Venice, get ready. The usual suspects are glad that Hulk Hogan is dead. (Here's a clue: "they're probably cat owners.") AFI: WTF? (take 2) I saw Andre The Giant, and my mom once met…Richard Nixon and Dwight D Eisenhower?! (And other historical Allen revelations!) New aggravation just dropped: "someone" leaving their coffee cup on the filthy sink surface. I went to see Aliens in 70mm at the Egyptian with Gale Ann Hurd (the producer) doing q&A, and shit got wild.

It's Polish Brandon's birthday, and Ozzy Osbourne's death day. (God damn DEATH dedication…) More bands in 90s movies, and ruminations on Kim Basinger's bush. Ka-mara. Rebuffed by Arnold Schwarzenegger. "Movers." AFI: WTF? Grant rant. A night out in Toluca Lake, and the impossibility for anyone in the greater Los Angeles area to not fuck up my hamburger.

I think I'm finally all better! (Maybe? I don't know. At least my cough is gone! For now!) (Nervous laughter) No one plays "lovably sleazy" like Paul Giamatti. Exciting things coming up (I didn't know how else to articulate this segment) Unfortunately for you, I found out today was the 30 year anniversary of seeing Korn for the first time. "Mecca of bodybuilding?" More like WRECK-A of bodybuilding. A prolific, Los Angeles-gallavanting Saturday, and I went to see Superman so you don't have to. (This shouldve been a two-parter, I'm sorry. Save it for a long drive? Or if you want to get your wife to leave you.)

July 5th, Chipotle AND Cava incompetence (there's not a single chicken-slinger in LA you can rely on…), stand up comedy revelations, and I went to see Love & Mercy at the Aero, a motion picture I take quite a fancy to. I also somewhat capriciously yet not wholly unsubstantially compare the Beach Boys to Dillinger Escape Plan.

405, for another 4 to 5. The gas company bandit. Michael Madsen mad me sads, son. The smog mafia. I regale you with my city wide and county-hopping gallivanting on the 4th of July. I mean, move over Robinson Crusoe; there's a NEW adventurer on the loose!

A prescient prediction about 28 Years Later. Big news on the Starbucks brownie front. My old acting teacher died. (Shockingly, not "of embarrassment" from watching me) Big news on the screenplay front. Bokes & I went to see Harley Flanagan from Cro Mag's new documentary, "Wired For Chaos." I went to see Mark. Normand at the Comedy Store, and I did a little stand up m'self for the first time…in fuckin yeaz.