Live To Inspire with David Coleman

Thoughts and discussion around what acceptance is and how it can change our outlook on life.

Is it a copy strategy? 

I share some views of others as well as definitions and personal examples with the lessons I learnt from it then applying the new understanding to move forward. 

Understanding disappointment

Disappointment is the negative emotion you feel when an outcome doesn’t match up to your expectations. Characterised by feelings of sadness, loss, anger and frustration, disappointment is an unavoidable part of life – but it’s not always easy to deal with, even if your setback is relatively minor.

You may experience disappointment when something positive you expected to happen – a new job, a new relationship, a holiday – doesn’t eventuate. Disappointments can be minor frustrations or life-changing events.

It’s normal to struggle with and feel overwhelmed by disappointment. But it is possible to work through your feelings and maintain a positive mind frame. Here’s how.

Give yourself time to reflect

Allow yourself time to make sense of what went wrong, grieve your loss and think about why the disappointment happened.

Was the outcome predictable, a shock or outside of your control? When you understand the reason why the disappointment happened, you’ll be better equipped to manage your feelings and rationalise the event.

Adjust your expectations

You feel disappointed because things didn’t turn out as you expected. But if you adjust that expectation, you may be able to feel less disappointed and move on.

Adjusting your expectations can be a useful tool in getting over feelings of disappointment. But it’s also important to constructively deal with the disappointment, rather than pretend it didn’t happen altogether.

Don’t let your disappointment linger

While it’s okay to take some time to grieve your disappointment, try not to focus on your negative emotions for a long time. Spending too much time and energy on your disappointment will have a detrimental impact on your mood and mental health.

You can also view the disappointment as something you can learn from. You can consider whether there is something you could do differently next time.

You may need to make an effort to focus on positivity strategies so you can let go. Some examples include positive self-talk, journaling, daily affirmations and surrounding yourself with positive people.

Look after your physical health

Whenever you experience a stressful event, including a big disappointment, it’s important to look after your physical health as well as your mental wellbeing.

Taking the time to eat a healthy diet, exercise and get enough sleep will help to reduce feelings of stress. A poor diet combined with a lack of sleep can make you feel worse – which can make it harder to cope with negative emotions.

Where to get help

Disappointment is a normal part of life, but if you’re struggling to overcome your feelings and move on, perhaps it’s time to speak to a healthcare professional.

Preconceptions and prejudice

Who you are vs what you have done.

Do you really know people or have you made your own opinions based on what you see or have been told? Or what they choose to share.

We have all made mistakes?

Plant a tree, 20 years ago.

What’s hard for you isn’t always bad for you

Do not punish behaviour you wish to see repeated

Regret is the emotion of wishing one had made a different decision in the past, because the consequences of the decision were unfavorable. a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over an occurrence or something that one has done or failed to do.

I wish I hadn't worked so hard

I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings

I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Missed opportunities

Things we did wrong

Things we did that impacted others, normally the ones that are closest to us

Our actions or behaviours. Hard to manage in the heat of the moment.

Should you have regrets in life?

It is perfectly okay to have regrets. The first part of this reasoning is quite simply that it's unhealthy to oppress thoughts. You will drive yourself insane telling yourself you shouldn't be thinking in this way or that. In fact, the more you try to put thoughts in a box, the harder they'll fight to get out.

Think about this….

Anything done in anger can not be undone

Trade expectations for appreciations and your life can change in a moment

What are expectations

What can we expect of others?

Should we?

Can we…

Expectation is the their of happiness

What if….

We Have zero expectations? Wouldn’t the outcome always be happiness and no disappointment?

What is it?

Luck is the phenomenon and belief that defines the experience of improbable events, especially improbably positive or negative ones.

So, in a sense, it absolutely does exist.” And it has “existed” for ages. “Pretty much, in every culture throughout recorded history, people talk about superstitious rituals or chance — as indeed we do now, even with our amount of science and technology

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.

Luck is what you have left after you have given 100%

Luck is the last dying wish of those who believe winning can happen by accident.

People have said I am lucky.

Unlucky or bad luck - misfortune?

Fortune favours the brave….

Don’t get caught up with loss, less or never

Gratitude for appreciation love and Enjoyment are the antitdote for suffering

Talking through the recent world record attempt as well as fund raising for mental health charities.

personal learning and growth as a result of the challenge

Content

Thought about where I am and others

However

Comparison is the thief of joy

Do we confuse being content with being happy?

Can being content just be accepting things for how they are because it is “too difficult” to change.

Thought we think that being happy is what society tells us; home, partner, children. So we accept that.

Are people who are content unhappy?

If you don’t know any different from you current situation how could you know what other emotions or experiences you might feel from events?

We all have our own ideaologies as to what happiness is and also being content.

Dreams are something you create in your mind that can take any shape or form, while goals are based on taking action.

Top Tips

1. Visualize

It helps for you to see what it is you are dreaming of and want to make a reality. Take a few minutes each day to close your eyes and visualize your dream playing out moment by moment.

Walk your mind through every aspect and moment of the experience. Practice seeing yourself as already having accomplished your dream.

2. Nurture Your Dreams

Let your dreams grow! Dreams are incredibly important for your well being and need to be nurtured in order to grow, develop, and come true. Blowing off your dreams for being too silly or too big is a surefire way to make sure they never come to fruition. If your dream is to travel the world, buy yourself a travel guide, make a Pinterest board of the places you want to see, and open a savings account for your big trip. Plan it out as though it’s going to happen.

3. Best Practices for Dreaming

Give yourself the time to dream. You may get so caught up in your day-to-day life that sometimes you don’t have the chance to just sit and dream. Try to schedule a few minutes a day to let your mind wander and dream. Breathe and let yourself relax. Don’t worry if you haven’t done this in a long time, your brain knows exactly what to do. You may find yourself defining your dreams and becoming more clear as you continue to give yourself more and more opportunities to dream.

The negativity bias is a cognitive bias that results in adverse events having a more significant impact on our psychological state than positive events. Negativity bias occurs even when adverse events and positive events are of the same magnitude, meaning we feel negative events more intensely.

My top 5 tips and strategies on how to over come negativity.