Living Wisely Living Well | With Asha Nayaswami

Listen for the unexpressed thoughts and feelings behind what people say. Often their words will only mask their real intentions. A common tendency when speaking is first to “test the water,” to see if it is warm enough for swimming.

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Laugh with others, but never at them. Let them feel that you are their friend. Avoid the boisterous laughter that is so commonly heard at revels. When I say laugh with others, I refer to that softer, more intimate sound which comes with inner appreciation for their company.

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To make your thoughts interesting, infuse melody into your speech. A flat voice suggests a flat personality. If you yourself are interested in what you are saying, let your voice express that interest. Don’t use words as mere beasts of burden for your ideas. Automatically, if you (in a sense) sing your words, your voice will gain in cadence, color, and rhythm.

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If you really want to communicate with others, seek also to commune with them. Feel their consciousness. Appreciate them for what they are and for what they do, not only for what they say.

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Think time and space when you speak. Give others the time they need to absorb your ideas, and the space to enlarge on their own.

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If rumor has preceded you, you might tell people, “Rumor is a beast with many heads, and with as many tongues. It may be wisest to let your own experience of me show you to which head you should listen.”

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Choose your words with kindness, inviting receptivity and understanding. Think of what you might say that will help others, and not merely stimulate them.

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Look for qualities to appreciate in others. What you see in them is a reflection of what you are in yourself. The more you appreciate others the more they will return that feeling, like the strings of a musical instrument which vibrate in sympathy with kindred notes elsewhere.  But if you see qualities in others that you dislike your negative reaction will be a sign that you have the same unattractive qualities in yourself. Use your negative opinions of others in this case as goads for self transformation.

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Cultivate the art of brevity. A single well phrased sentence will be long remembered. Where as long discourses are usually soon forgotten. In writing this book too I have tried to make every sentence as short and conscise as possible. Maandering sentences often lose themselves like coutnry paths in the unkempt grass of tangled thinking. 

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Practice living with greater awareness. Let your energey flow out to others from your heart, first to those whom you know and then by degrees to the whole world. Let your inmpact on others always be beneficial. 

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