Lockdown Dads

This week we are joined by Mari Williams, a leadership coach who blends therapy, conflict mediation and coaching interventions into a compelling action orientated package that men have described as "challengingly empathetic"  

Contents

02:20 James reflects on the R going up...
03:15 Ian at Flexpo 
04:30 What did Mari's clients find - denial, imposter syndrome and your version of success
07:40 Working with male energy 
09:30 Reflecting on what changes you want to make
11:20 Intent v Action
13:10 Why Ian goes to Costa
15:00 Mari's coaching approach - it's all about foundations
16:25 Men and loss of identity. Career, Children and relationship struggles
18:50 Ripples across your pond
19:20 Why a holistic whole life approach matters in coaching
21:15 Loving men and the downside of #metoo
23:50 The fathers they don't remember growing up
26:20 The Importance of Dads to work and family
28:15 The news James overheard in the cafe
29:00 Get help - tips from all three of us to enhance your life as a dad

---------------------------------------------
Mari Williams
https://www.mari-williams.com/
---------------------------------------------
Flexpo Business Digital Summit
https://flexpobusiness.vfairs.com/
--------------------------------------------- 
About Lockdown Dads

James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.

We hope you enjoy watching and listening!

To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:

https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads

In the first episode of Season 2  we are joined by Michael Ray - equality advocate and solo dad from Australia

In a wide ranging chat we cover everything from the Ashes to a very Australian coronavirus outbreak via how a disagreement over which parents were allowed backstage at a 4 year old's ballet show propelled Michael into the national spotlight and the journey to becoming an equality advocate.

Michael talks about gaining "clarity from crisis" and how it's the "moments between the moments" that really matter.

Contents

01:00 Emotional challenge of 2nd Lockdown 
02:40 The most Australian outbreak ever?
06:00 Walking the talk on Dad behaviour 
07:30 Difficult or Different?
08:35 Holidays, the cider museum and back to school
10:30 Tech breakdown - new normal?
12:00 Michael's story - separation, illness and clarity from crisis
14:50 That ballet story - she can't be the only kid backstage without a parent
17:50 Why traditional gender roles don't help anyone
19:50 I didn't want to be an advocate, I just wanted my daughter not to be made to feel different
20:50 Reframing childcare as a parenting issue not a women's issue
22:40 Breadwinner and Carer aren't separate roles
25:00 How maternity and paternity leave cement gender roles   
26:00 Imposter syndrome
29:10 "Get Help" Tips - Moments between the moments, Don't be a dick and recreate the good bits of lockdown.

---------------------------------------------
Michael Ray
"An Ordinary Dad Having An Extraordinary Amount Of Fun!"
https://michaelray.com.au/
--------------------------------------------- 
About Lockdown Dads

James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.

We hope you enjoy watching and listening!

To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:

https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads

In Episode 14 Ian is joined by his brother, Chris Dinwiddy.
 
Dad of 4, Chris, talks about becoming a father again during Lockdown, from the disengagement he felt from being unable to attend maternity appointments to the joy of being allowed to take the facemask off when Suri was born.

He talks too about the struggles of physical separation from family - his mother in law stuck in South Africa, while he narrowly missed the chance to visit his oldest 2 children in Cape Town before lockdown restrictions took hold.

We talk about the humanising benefits of Zoom calls and the upsides of having an official work from home contract.  

We talk about equality and equity, contrasts between South Africa and the UK and how "By The Way, My Wife is Black" would make for a great book title.

As a Global Talent Acquisition Specialist Chris talks about the process of de-biasing recruitment.

Plus 

Competitive instagramming with his 2 year old daughter, flat car batteries and shooting footage for a TV show. And Ian's two kids make an appearance at the start!

---------------------------------------------
Chris Dinwiddy
https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-dinwiddy-7220711/
Instagram: dinnersc

--------------------------------------------- 
About Lockdown Dads

James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.

We hope you enjoy watching and listening!

To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:

In Episode 13 we are joined by Fidel Beauhill, The Modern Man Coach
 
 Father of 3 daughters and a master coach, Fidel doesn't hold back when describing how his perfect life came abruptly to a halt when lockdown started.
 
 He talks candidly about the emotional impact faced by an extrovert who struggled after a manic 2 weeks of putting everyone else's "mask on first" - no one to see and nowhere to go.
 
 Fidel gives us an insight into his own journey into the spiritual - tapping into feminine energy, getting naked on top of a mountain and barefoot walking.
 
 Great tips include how to align your goals to your values and create stability in health, wealth, relationships and self.
 
 "Don't come blasting out of lockdown like it's New Year’s Day!"
 
 Plus, James has his long overdue beard trim and haircut, Ian suffers both credit card fraud and a broken printer in the same week and Fidel reveals his love for Jacinda Ardern's work.

---------------------------------------------
Fidel Beauhill
https://modernman.org.uk/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/themodernmanclub/

--------------------------------------------- 
About Lockdown Dads

James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.

We hope you enjoy watching and listening!

To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:

https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads

In Episode 12 we are joined by Rob Taylor, Marketing Man, Yorkshire Man and founder of Sheffield based "Dads in Business"

Rob talked about the pressures of being a dad of three and an entrepreneur and how meeting coach Angga Kara shone a light on his burnout and lead to the creation of Dads in Business.

Dads in Business is a forum in which entrepreneurial dads gain permission to have the type of honest conversations about Business, Family, Money and Life that they struggle to have with other people in their lives.

We talked about how the first 4 weeks of Lockdown were a valuable opportunity to reflect on what was really important and to challenge some of the business and lifestyle choices he was making.

James and Ian discussed tapas and gastro pubs and the end of school term.

We talked about whether Coronavirus will be all over by Christmas and the implications of Boris Johnson's announcement that from 1 August, "Instead of government telling people to work from home, we are going to give employers more discretion, and ask them to make decisions about how their staff can work safely."

aka "Saving Pret a Manger"

This is true:  "continuing to work from home, which is one way of working safely and which has worked for many employers and employees".

But nothing on how to square the circle of summer holidays, no childcare and a return to the workplace.

Further reading here: https://www.workingdads.co.u/bringing-dads-back-work/

Rob left us with important reflection about improved communication with your partner, self reflection and the importance of "catching yourself and asking: why am I living my life in this way?"

---------------------------------------------
Rob Taylor
https://www.linkedin.com/in/robtaylorofficial/
https://www.dadsinbusiness.co.uk/

--------------------------------------------- 
About Lockdown Dads

James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.

We hope you enjoy watching and listening!

To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:

https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads

In Episode 11 James and Ian are joined by Guinness Marathon World Record Holder and founder of Starting at Zero, Freddie Bennett.

When lockdown started Freddie was plunged into the world of 'single' parenting, while his wife worked 60 hour weeks on the frontline in the NHS, he tackled Zoom calls and supervising 2 young sons.

It wasn't all plain sailing as he struggled with uncertainty, lack of control and how to talk to his boys about what was going on.

We talk about presence and balance and how sometimes its the simple things in life that really matter especially with children. "Locked down not knocked down"

"Drunk" James explains why he went to the pub 4 times last week and what he discovered about himself, aka "it's not abut the beer"

The social aspect also features in Ian's story of his son going back to school for 2 days and, no apologies, we talk a lot about the restorative benefits of a hair cut.

Plus we learn about Freddie's incredible marathon world record. It's a pretty astonishing story of authenticity, forging your own path and making little people proud.

It lead to Staring From Zero - helping everyday people do extraordinary things.

---------------------------------------------
Freddie Bennett
https://freddiembennett.com/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/startingatzero/
https://www.startingatzerochallenge.com/
https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/458100-fastest-marathon-dressed-as-a-fisherman/

---------------------------------------------
'Fatherhood Matters: Changing the Culture of Working Dads' panel discussion.
500 people signed up to a webinar that James and Ian guested on

Listen again here

https://us02web.zoom.us/rec/share/xuk2Kpus8j9Jf9bv5m2Hc4AYApXHT6a8hCUc8_pfmRwTyrM5PvlAvygAMB7AuGiG

Password: 5w!B=*i!

--------------------------------------------- 

About Lockdown Dads
James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.

We hope you enjoy watching and listening!

To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:

https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads

In Episode 10 James and I reflect back on the previous 10 weeks and think about what the return to "normal" means for Dads.

We discuss the green shoots of normality - a trip to TK Maxx, cat vaccinations and bringing your cleaner back from paid leave, but also the anxiety of taking advantage of the opportunites.

James talks about the return from furlough to his job as editor of WorkingDads.co.uk - the practical and emotional challenges of actually doing that role again. In many ways men are getting to experience a new retun to work scenario that is not unlike the transistion back from maternity leave.

We cover the big topic of economic uncertainty and how fear and job losses will work against dads seeking out the type flexible and remote working they and their families want and need more of - especially with school holidays looming.

James talks about the importance of seeing people as more than just economic blocks - the govenment took that view with 80% furlough scheme afterall...

Read more here: https://www.pressandjournal.co.uk/fp/opinion/columnists/james-millar/2265563/do-not-adjust-your-set-its-the-new-normal/

Plus are you ever too old / fat for a Radiohead t-shirt, Ian squeezes in a Rocky Balboa quote and why easing up and breaking your day into chunks is so important.

--------------------------------------------- 

Enjoyed this?

James and Ian are featuring on a free webinar on Friday 10th July, 11am - 12pm

Rachel Vecht is hosting the 'Fatherhood Matters: Changing the Culture of Working Dads' panel discussion.

Join Ian, James, Brian Ballantyne and Dan Reed as we discuss all things dad, and all things lockdown.

Registar here:
https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_qqgaIWgGQ5SsTVRl9UeztQ

------------------------------------------------------

About Lockdown Dads
James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.

We hope you enjoy watching and listening!

To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:

https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads

James and Ian are joined by Parent Educator Rachel Vecht, Founder of Educating Matters.

We discuss the benefits of teenagers at home without FOMO replaced instead with a sense of connection to family but also screen time and body clocks (!)

Rachel talks about the importance of self reliance, emotional intelligence and how anxiety is contagious. We also discuss important life skills for kids around multi pack beer buying (James) in the supermarket and the "chicken challenge" (Ian)

Rachel shines a light on the type of support that she has been supplying to business:

* Practicalities of balancing work and "home school"
* Mental Well Being
* Motivation and Mindset
and now
*Transition to school
* Staycation topics 

Plus her views on how, in her experience, corporate business will treat flexible and remote working in the future. 

James brings to the table research from the Global Institute for Women’s Leadership at King’s College London that says "Women doing more childcare under lockdown but men more likely to feel their jobs are suffering"

Ian gets excited about booking a haircut and we discuss the pros and cons of potential holiday destinations.

Top tips include video call lighting, smelly crisps and rethinking who to spend precious time with post lockdown.

--------------------------------------------- 

If you liked this you can register for a free webinar on Friday 10th July, 11am - 12pm

Rachel Vecht is hosting the 'Dads Matter: Changing the Culture of Working Dads' panel discussion.
Join Ian, James, Brian Ballantyne and Dan Reed as we discuss all things dad, and all things lockdown.

Registar here:
https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_qqgaIWgGQ5SsTVRl9UeztQ

----------------------------------------------

Rachel Vecht
Website: https://www.educatingmatters.co.uk/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachelvecht-educatingmatters/

Research link:
https://www.kcl.ac.uk/news/women-doing-more-childcare-under-lockdown-but-men-more-likely-to-feel-their-jobs-are-suffering


About Lockdown Dads
James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.

We hope you enjoy watching and listening!

To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:

https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads

James and Ian are joined by Han-Son Lee, Founder of Daddilife 

We talked to single dad Han-Son about how his son's Lego depiction of him as "Wolfman" sitting at a desk was a trigger point to make changes in how he was working in during lockdown.

In the light of James and Ian discovering they have walked the same route 24 hours apart, we reflected on the importance of outdoors and being grateful for that access. Plus Ian demonstrated the benefits of a power nap!

We discussed new Daddilife lockdown research showing that "76% of respondents believe they are more involved dads now than they were before the Covid crisis." We explored exactly what dads were doing to be more involved and most importantly what type of change these same dads wanted - including significant amount of more flexible and remote working.

Han-Son shared his concerned for the mental health of parents and children.

James celebrated the reduction of Joe Wicks' home PE sessions and we shared some profound top tips...  

Han-Son Lee
The research: https://www.daddilife.com/dads-in-lockdown/
Website: https://www.daddilife.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/daddilife/

About Lockdown Dads

James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.

We hope you enjoy watching and listening!

To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:

https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads

James and Ian are joined by Douglas Ross, Scottish Conservative MP for Moray 

We talked toddlers, tatties and tories and what it was like to hit the headlines in the wake of the Dominic Cummings lockdown travel controversy.

Douglas talks about how the pandemic meant he was there when his son started walking, while the increase in constituent work offset the lack of travel to Westminster. 

We talk about steps towards modernising parliamentary work - for instance nearly 150 MPs are Proxy voting on Wednesday, including Douglas, whose wife is on a night shift as a Police Sergeant.  While also recognising the importance of face to face interaction for select committee work. 

We discuss the emotional impact of schools not going back yet - especially when in England we are only halfway through - assuming a September return - eye opening stuff!

We reflect on differences in Scotland v England in terms opening up the economy - with many Scots looking over the fence enviously at garden centres opening. 

Plus we take dip into Douglas' second job as an assistant referee (his last appointment was Rangers v Celtic!) and ask him what it will be like as an official when high level football starts again behind closed doors and with covid protocols in place.
 
Top tips including hats to cover your dodgy haircut and buying duplicates of your child's favourite soft toy!


Douglas Ross
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Douglas4Moray
Website: https://www.douglasross.org.uk/

About Lockdown Dads

James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.

We hope you enjoy watching and listening!

To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:

https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads