Did you realize loneliness is at epidemic levels? If you google “loneliness epidemic,” you will find pages of articles on the effect of loneliness. We have more and easier ways of communicating than ever before, and yet indeed our technological advances are part of the cause for this loneliness epidemic, because we are more isolated than ever.

Loneliness is that empty spot in the pit of your stomach that makes life seem meaningless and makes you feel worthless. All of us experience loneliness at times, and when it is a fleeting emotion, it doesn’t usually impact your life significantly. However, persistent and pervasive feelings of loneliness are indeed harmful to your health.

Normal Cousins has been attributed to saying, “All man’s history is an endeavor to shatter his loneliness.” We are designed by God for fellowship, for companionship and when it is missing, it affects our motivation, our self-respect, our happiness—almost every part of our lives.

However, we must recognize loneliness and aloneness are two different things. You can be lonely in a crowd or a group of friends or with a mate or friend right there with you. Or you can be all by yourself for extended periods yet not be lonely. Loneliness is a feeling, not a set of circumstances.

A single woman in her late twenties shared an experience with me which points out our society’s attitude about aloneness. Since her church had no class for singles, she joined in with the young couples group. One Sunday, she didn’t make it to Sunday school, and her teacher said to her, “I’m so sorry you weren’t at Sunday school today. I was counting on you being there because I knew you’d have lots of good input for our discussion, since we were talking about loneliness today.”

People automatically assume being single means you’re lonely because being alone is often seen as the worst thing in the world. This mistaken notion about aloneness causes people to do the most incredible things to avoid being by themselves. I know, because I’ve done some of them. I’ve gone to places I should never have gone to. I’ve been with people I should never have been with. I’ve spent money I never should have spent, just to avoid being alone.