Look Good for the Boys

Andy and Philip finds themselves a bit overwhelmed with their client roster this week, as they try to counsel multiple couples ranging from boring to problematic to toxic with the ill-fated friend circle that stumbles on the monster-infested mansion of 1986’s Spookies.

February may have come and gone, but that doesn’t mean horror couples are done being counseled. This week, Andy and Philip really have their work cut out for them as they attempt to solve the problems of George and Kathy Lutz of The Amityville Horror (1978), and surprisingly, living in a notorious possessed house is the least of their problems. 

It might be May, but Andy and Philip aren’t quite ready to leave 2023 behind yet…or maybe we just sat on this one a little too long. Either way, let’s take a little trip back to the “good ole days” of last year as we shuffle through the horror that was, whether we wanted it to be or not.

Everyone is busy making their lists and checking them twice, but Andy and Philip are more concerned with the movies that might not even be on Santa’s radar. So, we’re spending our Christmas with some misfit films that deserve extra holiday cheer - Krampus: The Christmas Devil (2013), Mrs. Claus (2018), and Santa Isn’t Real (2023).

Not everyone has a place to go this season, so Andy and Philip are inviting the sisters of Mu Kappa Epsilon for an orphan holiday dinner. Let’s put down those petitions and don our most empowering Santa costumes as we (try) to say only nice things to a movie that has its share of haters: Black Christmas (2019).

Philip and Andy whip up some morgue nog and get set to have a Messy Christmas by loudly telling anyone who will listen that they were wrong about Glen Morgan and James Wong's misunderstood 2006 remake of a holiday horror classic.

Concluding this year’s family therapy sessions, Andy and Philip head to the midway to talk to the chosen-family-within-a-chosen-family of circus sideshow performers in Tod Browning’s cult classic Freaks.

We're back a little early with a black friday surprise befitting this sickly comforting and low-key evil holiday where Andy and Philip work hard to set aside their grievances, and try to find some gratitude for the little things in the holiday movie that was given, but not chosen: Thanksgiving (2023).

Thanksgiving - a holiday stuffed with toxicity, violence, anxieties, and delicious food - and with those traditions in mind, Andy and Philip pile their plates a little too high by trying to provide therapy to the Simmons family of Blood Rage(1987). We definitely have our work cut out for us as we attempt to chew through this feast of generation trauma, complete meltdowns, gleeful psychopathy, and definitely not cranberry sauce.

It’s that time of year again where many of us feel an obligation to spend time with people we never chose to be around, AKA our families, so Andy and Philip want to soften the holiday season by providing some much needed counseling to horror families in need. First up, we sit down with the Le Domas family of Ready or Not (2019), to encourage some honest communication about the trauma of growing up in a household that has an inconvenient pact with Satan.