Love, Life, Legacy: A Show About Sex

Culture is a way of life that shapes every aspect of society. It has a significant impact on how we see ourselves and other people, as well as what we hold to be morally right and wrong. Our society greatly affects the choices we make, often without us even considering if such choices are helpful or detrimental to our wellbeing. However, the decisions we make can also have an impact on other people and eventually have a positive or negative impact on society.

Hookup culture has become a social issue not just because it promotes premarital sex, but also pressures people to engage in risky types of casual sexual activities. Considering how much society can influence our choices, those who don't hook up may eventually do so in order to fit in or have a sense of belongingness, while those who do so feel the need to fulfill their emotional needs and use it as a way of seeking a romantic partner. Hookup culture is dangerous as it increases the likelihood that young men and women would either commit sexual crimes or become perpetrators.

The issue with hookups is not so much with the individuals who engage in it as it is with the cultural forces that shape sexual relationships. The first and most important step in determining what has to change is to identify the underlying causes of this. As culture is a form of collective awareness, many of us must work together to change the toxic culture and bring about the changes we have been envisioning for years.

In this episode, we are joined by Shay Ryan Douglas, the star of Netflix documentaries Liberated: The New Sexual Revolution and Liberated: After Spring Break. Shay motivates his listeners to live life to the fullest and pursue their greatest aspirations. His stories, which he draws on from his own life experiences, let people see things from new angles and gain confidence, motivating them to do their best.

He shares with us the two documentaries' main focus, his transformational journey. He talks about the hookup culture that exists in America, as well as how and why he changed and became a man with sexual integrity. He discusses what it really means to be liberated and what his greatest mission is for the world and himself.

Listen to Episode 131 to learn more!

Connect with the Guest:

• Instagram

Show Notes

• What is Synchrodestiny? [4:14]
• What does fulfilling the American dream mean? [5:48]
• What happens during Spring break? [10:31]
• Why do we self-shame? [19:12]
• The rite of passage [20:57]
• The journey of transforming into an individual with sexual integrity [27:01]
• A shift in perspective that leads to a deeper understanding of sexuality [33:39]
• The significance of a healthy spiritual and sexual connection to the world [37:57]
• The impact of our consciousness on the people around us [50:24]
• What does the liberated version of you look like in terms of sexuality? [52:14]
• Why is it important to be honest with your emotions? [54:32]

Digital technology has revolutionized the way we live today and is now a fundamental aspect of everyone's lives. However, as we spend so much time online, many problems crop up, one of which is the negative impact on our wellbeing, especially our mental health.

Many of us overthink things that are beyond our control and that cause us to feel negative emotions. We linger on the same negative thoughts and emotions too much, which affects how we let bad habits - like porn addiction - into our lives. We strive to escape reality and find the connection we crave with other people or things, and we often neglect to connect with what and who is actually worth connecting to - our true selves.

Too much of everything is bad. Therefore, it's important that we know when to disconnect from our thoughts, social media, and our devices, and be able to reconnect with our bodies, emotions, and spirituality.

In this episode, Andrew talks about why we shouldn't get trapped in our own heads, the healthy things we should engage in to re-establish connections with other areas of our lives, as well as the importance of constantly growing emotionally and spiritually. He also discusses why it's important to limit our usage of technology and social media.

We already have it tough, so why not take time to enjoy the simple things? Spend time with our true selves in a way that allows our minds to deepen our understanding, be challenged, and broaden our views of what is real and what isn't, and our hearts to learn to appreciate even the smallest details of the people we love, to accept different types of people, and our spirituality to become in line with our true purpose.

Listen to Episode 130 to learn more!

Show Notes

• How much time do we spend in our own minds? [2:43]
• How much time do we spend on our emotions? [5:01]
• Why are we unable to get out of our own heads? [5:45]
• Why do people seek out porn? [8:14]
• Healthy things we should engage in to re-establish connections with other areas of our lives [9:23]
• The importance of constantly growing emotionally and spiritually [10:26]
• The negative impact of spending so much time in our heads [11:32]

We all want to be the person we aspire to be in the future, to be fulfilled in life, and to be better people than we are now. But the real question is: does this align with the people we are today, and with the habits, we have in our lives right now? Sometimes our ambition and eagerness to live up to the ideal of the person we hope to become someday cause us to deny the unhealthy habits we have and to be ashamed of opening up to others. As a result, we don't get the help we need to change or let go of those habits in our lives.

As humans, we sometimes struggle to manage our emotions. When we experience negative feelings, we often look for ways to control them, which causes us to develop bad habits like porn addiction. A person becomes dependent on porn because they allow themselves to think that their emotional state and their porn habit are related, making it impossible for them to quit. We must learn to deal with our emotions without associating them with a habit that limits our ability to grow.

In this episode, Andrew and Benjy talk about the value of emotional self-awareness, the reasons we shouldn't conflate our emotions with sexuality, and how to make our lives significant and purposeful without turning to porn for fulfillment. They also discuss how "turn-ons" can be customized, the significance of commitment to a long-term relationship, and the negative impact of social media's so-called beauty standards.

Many people are being misled into using social media as their standard for many things, including what is beautiful or not, and this can have a negative impact on how men perceive women or their spouse in a relationship - and vice versa. When we commit to someone we truly love, we wouldn't spend our time looking for things that they lack, but instead would spend it learning new and beautiful things about them. We would always find a reason why we shouldn't let go and would strengthen our connection with God at its center.

Listen to Episode 129 to learn more!

Show Notes

• Why does someone conceal unhealthy habits? [7:07]
• Why do people continue a habit they don't want? [10:54]
• Why is being emotionally self-aware important? [12:27]
• Why shouldn't we conflate our emotional state and sexuality? [15:43]
• How can you simply separate your emotion from sex? [19:10]
• Porn is not the only reason why someone becomes addicted to it [20:58]
• Create a new opportunity for yourself to tell a story instead of porn [23:09]
• How 'turn-ons' can be customized [26:38]
• The significance of commitment to a lasting relationship [28:34]
• The harmful influence of social media's so-called 'standards' on what is viewed as beautiful [30:31]

Let your old self die and recreate yourself in the likeness of who you'd like to be.

- Andrew Love

We're all at different phases in our lives right now, and while our paths may differ, one thing is certain - we'll all end up at the same place, for the same goal, which is to become the best version of ourselves. There are many things we must give up along the process, many fears we must face, and our old selves we must let go of.

Most of us are scared to face our biggest fears and this is what's hindering us from growing. We cannot force ourselves to face our fears right away. But we can always take our time, take small steps, and if we are afraid to face them alone, we can always turn to a community that can genuinely help and motivate us on our journey, such as High Noon. We can't grow unless we face the things that scare us the most, and once we have the courage to face them, we can certainly meet more challenges and explore new things fearlessly.

Our habits define who we are as individuals. We can be readily influenced by a variety of things that can become our habits because of the environment in which we're in. Allowing ourselves to get rid of unhealthy habits that aren't beneficial to us is a key step toward rebuilding ourselves. It can be tough and painful to let go of our old unhealthy selves, but we should look forward to meeting our best selves. Reaching our desired destination and being able to look back and be proud of the journey we took is the best part of our new, fulfilled lives.

In this episode, Andrew and Benjy talk about why it's important to let go of our old selves and the benefits of doing so in terms of restoring and seeing a different version of ourselves. They also discuss why we shouldn't be afraid to face our biggest fears, especially if we do it with a community that can help us with our identity transformation, such as the High Noon community.

Listen to Episode 128 to learn more!

Show Note

• What does the "death of your old self'' mean? [4:27]
• What keeps us from letting go of our old selves? [5:48]
• The effect of our surroundings on the habits we develop [9:28]
• The misconception about porn [10:59]
• Why should we allow ourselves to try new, healthy things? [15:01]
• Why should YOU join the Ascend Program? [23:20]
• YOU have to do the thing that scares you the most [24:52]
• Why shouldn't you be afraid to open up to the right people, and community? [26:32]
• What does an identity shift entail? [29:04]

Some people are so enamored with their habits that they are unaware of what kind of habits they allow into their lives. They are unconscious, that their habits are controlling them and preventing them from progressing as they are way too comfortable with them. While many of us are aware that our habits are unhealthy. But we don't know how to let go of them or lack the courage to do so because they are such an integral part of everyday lives. However, we know deep down that we must let go of them in order to grow and become better individuals.

Our habits play a significant role in defining who we are. Our characters mirror the habits we have in our daily lives. Therefore, it is important that we only let habits into our lives that are in line with who we want to be as individuals. Whatever phase you're in right now, it's fundamental to assess our habits and determine which habits are helping us in our growth and which habits are hindering our growth and, ultimately, destroying us. Because of this, we will be able to identify which habits we'll continue to allow into our lives and which habits we'll need to let go.

In this episode, Andrew discusses what the three stages of self-awareness in porn recovery are and how they can help a lot of individuals break free from the addiction. He also talks about how self-awareness can help YOU in overcoming your porn addiction, as well as how our decisions play a role in letting habits into our lives.

Many people turn to porn anytime they are stressed, insecure, or don't feel like living their life; they perceive porn as a source of comfort, despite the fact that it is extremely destructive to their wellbeing and has corrupted their perspective of people, particularly women. We all experience a bad and painful aspect of life, and we may feel the need to disconnect from it from time to time. However, as we disconnect from the world, we should engage in habits that are worth investing our time and energy in, habits that do not prevent us from growing and evolving, habits that help ease our stress while still finding a reason to be positive and love life even more.

Listen to Episode 127 to learn more!

Show Notes

• How can being self-aware help YOU in overcoming your porn addiction? [0:47]
• The "unconscious" stage [2:37]
• The "becoming self-aware" stage [3:28]
• The "ahead of yourself" stage[5:55]
• It is YOUR choice to allow certain habits into your life [9:50]

We are afraid to face certain battles in our lives alone, as well as to tell others about them for fear of being judged. Battles we badly want to finish and win, but we lack the courage to do so. God gives the most difficult battles to his strongest soldiers; we should never feel alone or afraid, and we should always assure ourselves that God is with us through all seasons and phases of our journey.

Every journey is tough and sometimes can be bumpy, but one thing is certain: it will be beautiful and worth it. There are moments when we feel like giving up or that we are not making progress, and it is essential that we have someone to talk to who can provide us with the encouragement and inspiration to keep going. Including our family in our journey has to be the most meaningful part of it. Having them as our support system is one of the important aspects of our healing and continuing this journey confidently.

Having a community of individuals who can motivate us and who are also on the same journey as us is very beneficial for us, especially when we feel like we are failing. High Noon will play a significant role in helping us in our sexual integrity journey to ultimately let go of any addictions or bad habits that are hindering us from progressing. High Noon provides programs to help people in overcoming their porn addiction while also establishing sexual integrity.

In this episode, we are joined by Joshua Fontaine, one of the High Noon community's most powerful testimonials. He talks about how he was able to break free from his porn addiction and live a fulfilled life with sexual integrity, as well as the individuals that inspired him and were a key part of his journey, such as his family and High Noon. He discusses how he discovered his own self-worth and how his transformation in just three years was massive and impactful.

Many of us struggle to find or realize our own worth, and we are less confident in ourselves and believe that no one deserves us but we must remind ourselves that only we can heal and make ourselves whole again during this time. The instant we shift our lives' trajectory and begin loving and valuing ourselves, we will be able to see ourselves like others do and find an accountability partner. A partner who will hold our hands through every step of our lives, a partner who will make us fall in love with ourselves and see the world in a more meaningful light.

Connect with the Guest

• Gmail

Show Notes

• Josh Fontaine's first encounter with High Noon [4:36]
• The beginning of the journey towards building sexual integrity [08:20]
• The uncertainties during our journey [10:44]
• Having the determination to keep making progress[18:31]
• The significance of having people who will motivate us [20:31]
• Choosing an accountability partner [36:40]
• Why we should allow ourselves to recognize our real worth [40:29]

Every one of us has a lot of work to do and a lot of responsibilities to do in our daily lives. The feeling of being motivated and productive is what keeps us going, and it's what keeps us smiling even when we're tired. Many of us go through phases in our lives when we don't feel like ourselves and aren't motivated to accomplish the things we normally do. Our attitude and energy levels shift abruptly. In situations like these, our first instinct is to simply wait for things to return to normal, for fate to be on our side once more.

We must remind ourselves that we are simply humans and that it is okay to not be okay. It's alright to feel this way, but we shouldn't stay like this for too long. We need to find the strength to get up and do something about it rather than wait for things to happen. We should nurture an environment where we can clear our minds, relax, replace bad energy with a positive one, and once again be our amazing selves.

Understanding what we need in times when our mind/heart state isn't at its best is powerful as we know how to get back up and progress. The 21-day challenge is one of the most effective ways to shift our energy and re-establish momentum in our lives that allows us to perform at our best again. It's a great way to assess and change our state, and it's one of the best things we can do in response to our own relapse.

In this episode, Andrew talks about the purpose of this podcast, and how we can rapidly change our state of mind/heart. He also touches on what the 21-day challenge is all about, its purpose, and how it is helping him on his journey.

Listen to Episode 125 to learn more!

Show Notes

• The purpose of High Noon's Love, Life & Legacy Podcast [0:24]
• How can we create a new positive energy? [5:13]
• Understanding the purpose of the 21-day challenge [7:24]
• What process will have the greatest impact during a 21-day challenge? [10:18]
• The North Star Goal [13:17]

It takes a lot of effort and sacrifice to get into a committed relationship, which is why we must prepare ourselves for it. We all have different ways of preparing ourselves and working to be a better half for our future spouses, but one thing we should remember is that loving ourselves even more will allow us to love someone as best we can.

The idea of writing letters to our future spouse about what we are doing, our thoughts, feelings, sacrifices, and efforts is the best way for us to not only love and better ourselves, but the person who will receive it will know how much we want them to happen and our entire personality even before we meet them.

It may seem strange to write letters to someone we have never met and have no idea who he or she will be, but investing our time and energy into a relationship with whom we have no idea how things will turn out will help us strengthen our commitment and lay the foundation for the love and effort we will provide to our future spouses.

In this episode, we are joined by Andi and Karen Pock, a newlywed couple currently in a long-distance relationship. Andi, who is currently based in Germany and has been a huge part of the High Noon community, was inspired to write letters to his future spouse without knowing who she was back then. When he and Karen married, he gave Karen the letters.

Andi explains why we should write letters to our future spouse, how it impacts him, and how it strengthens his commitment. Karen describes how it felt to get those letters and how they helped her learn more about him and his past.

Listen to Episode 124 to learn more!

Show Notes

• The purpose and reason for writing a letter to our future spouse [12:17]
• What impact can writing letters to our future spouse have on our commitment in a relationship? [17:35]
• A wonderful tool for getting to know your spouse better [25:20]
• The goal of High Noon [29:12]
• The significance of envisioning the future in the present [31:23]

We all reach a phase in our lives where we are at a crossroads and are unsure of what we want. We're lost, and there's a part of our existence that feels empty, and we yearn for anything to fill that void.

Unfortunately, we sometimes waste our time and energy trying to fill that emptiness with things, habits, or people who will eventually ruin us. Making ill-advised actions and decisions for the sake of superficial fulfillment often leads to our demise.

When we take the time to fully understand what it is that we truly want and have clarity on our true purpose in this world, we will not waste our time and energy and will instead fill the void with so many beautiful and good things that only God can provide that are truly worth our time and energy.

The North Star Goal is one of High Noon's programs that can help us start working on ourselves and our goals no matter where we are in life. There has been a higher level of success with the North Star Goal approach by identifying one's purpose, goals, and how we want to show up in life.

In this episode, Andrew talks about how to figure out what we really want, what our purpose is, as well as where we should devote our time and energy. He also discusses how the North Star Goal, as well as other High Noon programs, can help us in starting to focus on ourselves and our goals in order to fill the void in our lives.

What is it that you actually want? It may seem like an easy question, but it is the most difficult to answer, as even ourselves don't know what we want, but we are willing to sacrifice everything to figure it out and get the wholeness we seek in our life. This phase or journey can be difficult, lonely, and painful. But one thing is certain: it will be beautiful as long as we hang in there and surround ourselves with people who can help and guide us, like High Noon, on this rocky road called life.

Listen to Episode 123 to learn more!

Show Notes

• High Noon's Programs [1:18]
• The North Star Goal [2:18]
• Turning the void in our lives into something we're passionate about [4:44]
• Vessels to help us reach our full potential? [7:32]
• Figuring out what we truly want [13:35]

In our lives, there were times when we didn't understand our actions and the things we did cause us trouble because we didn't think much about what we were doing or the decisions we were making. As we mature in life, we learn that those experiences were necessary for us to grow and become better people. The beauty of maturing in wisdom and growing old with grace is learning from our mistakes so they will not happen again.

Many of us are constantly reminded of our younger selves and the things we would have done differently if we had known better at the time. Our younger selves serve as inspiration for us to strive to be better people for the sake of others, but mainly for ourselves. People typically ask us, "If you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?" This question makes us reflect on moments when we failed and how much we have grown since then. Most of us imagine how different our lives may have been if we had acted differently earlier in life.

May we never forget that, no matter what happens, we should always cherish what we have accomplished and who we have become. And if we are at any crossroads in our lives, let's make sure that we make choices that our younger selves will be proud of.

In this episode, Andrew and Benjy talk about what advice we should give to our younger selves, the lessons we should learn in marriage, as well as trusting God in our journey. They also touch on the importance of having a cause in our lives and finding our sense of purpose.

Listen to Episode 122 to learn more!

Show Notes

• If we could talk to our younger selves, what would we tell them? [3:07]
• Why should we trust God with our marriage? [7:01]
• The sensation of being valued [8:52]
• Men's journey on finding their genuine identities [16:32]
• Having a cause is fundamental to the experience of life [23:32]
• Finding our sense of purpose [28:56]