Love, Life, Legacy: A Show About Sex

Marriage is an institution that brings order to society and is the cornerstone of a family. Marriage, more than its societal significance, matters as it shapes and helps couples grow individually into a better half for each other.

People nowadays believe that divorce or breaking up is the remedy they need even if there is a minor inconvenience in a relationship. When they get into a major disagreement with their partner, they immediately believe that they are not matched. Sometimes we only want to stay for the good times and feel it necessary to leave when things start to get bumpy. Whereas those minor inconveniences and arguments are what strengthen the relationship, it is what allows the couples to learn from each others' mistakes in order to prevent them in the future. When we understand why marriage matters in our relationship, family, and most importantly, to God, we will see that those painful moments are simply challenges that actually make our marriage even more beautiful.

In this episode, Andrew and Benjy talk about why YOUR marriage matters, its impact on society, as well as why we should commit to the marriage process. They also discuss the importance of understanding the two worldviews about marriage, limiting beliefs, and what international marriage is all about.

When singles express an interest in marrying, many people will tell them that marriage is difficult, creating a misconception about marriage and discouraging them from doing so. Singles should remember that there is no such thing as an easy or flawless relationship; what matters is our commitment to the good and even difficult times with our spouse, and how it will mold us into the person we want to be.

Listen to Episode 121 to learn more!

Show Notes

• Committing to the process of marriage [1:47]
• The purpose of marriage [3:00]
• The difference between the two worldviews about marriage [3:48]
• Marriage allows you to grow into the person you want to be [10:57]
• How marriage can impact society [19:38]
• Limiting beliefs [22:29]
• What is international marriage all about? [24:38]
• Why does YOUR marriage matter? [31:48]

When we were young, we often felt the need to belong and be accepted. The feeling of being unwanted is a hurtful experience. Many people who feel unwanted as a child perceived this as a traumatic event in their lives, which often leads to developing an unhealthy habit that also leads to addiction, such as porn addiction. People engage in this harmful habit because it comforts them and gives them a sense of belonging in some ways. We are social beings, and it is natural for us to want to belong. It is important that we feel wanted as it has a huge impact on us and how we view life, as well as giving us the powerful feeling of being chosen. After all, we are social beings, hence the need to relate, commence, and interact.

We do things, and we even change ourselves, to make people want us. Some people do bad things even though they don't want to because they have a strong need to be wanted. What we don't realize is that we are only damaging ourselves when, in fact, we don't have to do anything to be wanted by others; God, the ultimate source of unconditional love, is simply waiting for us to allow ourselves to be wanted by Him, and that is the most powerful feeling we can ever feel in our lifetime.

Whenever we feel unwanted, we can always reach out and open up to someone. Instead of focusing on this bad emotion, let us remember that we can always turn to God.

In this episode, Andrew and Benjy Andrew and Benjy talk about our need to be wanted, the powerful feeling it brings us, and why we should allow ourselves to feel wanted by God. They also discuss the importance of having genuine inner peace and having a reciprocal relationship with God.

Single people should understand that the need to be wanted is a necessity and that they should not deprive themselves of something so fundamental in their lives. Spend time with people who make you feel loved and validated. Married couples, on the other hand, should work together to find ways to meet each other's needs and ensure that their partner is never neglected.

Listen to Episode 120 to learn more!

Show Note

• The powerful feeling of being wanted [6:05]
• Allow yourself to feel wanted by God [17:55]
• When is the best time to go to God? [21:33]
• Unconditional wanting and love [24:31]
• The significance of having genuine inner peace [27:40]
• How important it is to feel wanted as a single person and as a married couple [31:17]
• What does a reciprocal relationship entail? [30:33]

There are times when we are all burned out and want to escape reality to the point where we will go to any lengths to avoid what we are experiencing and feeling. Some of us create a certain type of habit over time as a form of escape, while those who acquire harmful habits and routines become reliant on them.

Fantasizing can help us escape reality as it allows us to create blissful, picture-perfect scenarios in our minds that are somewhat far from our true realities. People fantasize as it is a genuine aspect of our lives. Fantasizing or daydreaming can help us improve our problem-solving and creative abilities, as well as encourages our minds to think of something that isn't familiar to us. It's perfectly normal, but we need to recognize when it's harmful and no longer serves us.

While fantasizing has many advantages, it can also be harmful to people who consume porn as their habit. The porn industry not only exploits and disempowers women, but it also disrupts our minds and is a reason why people develop unhealthy sex fantasies, which can damage a relationship, especially a marriage.

In this episode, Andrew and Benjy talk about what fantasy is all about, its harmful impact, and the difference between healthy and unhealthy fantasies. They emphasize fantasy as a means for turning a person's vision into reality. They also discuss the terrible truth of the porn industry, as well as how the porn industry constantly degrades and exploits women.

Listen to Episode 119 to learn more!

Show Notes

• What is fantasy all about? [4:26]
• The difference between visualization and fantasy [9:06]
• The harmful impact of fantasy in a loving relationship [13:10]
• Pornographic portrayal scenarios are a losing proposition for women [18:35]
• The sad reality of the porn industry [24:15]
• Fantasy is meant to be used as a tool to create more reality [27:14]
• The difference between healthy fantasy and unhealthy fantasies [28:14]

Japan is regarded as one of Asia's culturally conservative countries. Japanese culture is rich in rites and traditions that primarily value family honor, and keeps a careful balance between tradition and modernity.

Because of the importance of family honor in Japanese culture, there are many topics and issues that are not publicly discussed in Japan, one of which is sexuality. Even when media depictions are scrutinized and regulated, sexualization in the media continues to develop. The porn industry in Japan is labeled as a "business" that benefits the economy. Yet, it has a negative impact on how people see sexuality and women's reputation, as they are exploited. Because sexuality is shaped by culture and society, it is critical that people understand how these harmful factors affect and even destroy family values.

In Episode 118, we are joined by Luke Higuchi, Pastor of Georgia True Family Community Center in Atlanta, a Japanese yoga instructor, and a teacher of Buddhism's prospective life practice with Christian faith. He focuses on reaching out to Japanese people around the world, particularly in their own nation, and helping people who are battling addictions, such as porn addiction, through High Noon and their programs.

He shares his unique and inspiring story of how he learned about High Noon, and how it changed his unhealthy habits and transformed him into a man of God. And how High Noon helped him overcome his fear of sharing his story with the public and embrace it as his calling to help and inspire other people to overcome their addiction and develop sexual integrity.

There are times when we desire to change our destructive habits but are hesitant or embarrassed to tell anybody or ask for help. And that step was enough for God to perceive that we needed him on our journey; little did we know, he had already planned for us to meet people who would have an impact on and transform our lives for the better.

Listen to Episode 118 to get inspired and learn more!

Connect with the Guest:

• [email protected]
• YouTube

Show Note

• Overcoming porn addiction [4:36]
• High Noon Summit and the beginning of a new life [12:56]
• Overcoming the struggle of opening up to other people [17:00]
• Why is it difficult for Japanese people to talk about sexuality? [19:45]
• The impact of Japan's culture on why Japanese people are reluctant to discuss taboo topics [24:55]
• What is happening in the Japanese realm of High Noon? [32:06]

"Trauma is not what happens to you. Trauma is what happens inside you, as a result of what happens to you." - Dr. Gabor Maté

Addiction usually comes from a place where a person is in need of something and is getting that need through their addiction. It provides a person with temporary relief and happiness, but it has negative repercussions, to which the person will return repeatedly.

There are certain times or situations in our lives that are so devastating and deeply scarring that we develop trauma that is deeply rooted in us, as a result of them. The traumas in the past that we do not face and resolve will hinder us from being genuinely happy and living a fulfilled life.

Rather than turning to addiction, resolving our trauma can help us understand what we truly need and how to fulfill it with the right things; turning to God and surrounding ourselves with the beautiful things in life, such as genuine people who can inspire and help us on our healing journey. Our wounds will turn into the best and most beautiful part of ourselves that we didn't even know existed when we heal; healing may take time, but we should trust the process.

In Episode 117, we are joined by Carina Cunningham, as she shares the explanation of addiction, according to Gabor Maté, how it is connected with trauma, as well as, the process of understanding the wisdom of trauma. She also talks about the difference between healthy attachment and unhealthy attachment among children and what is healthy attachment among adults.

High Noon is a wonderful group of people who encourage one another to break free from addiction and live a happy, purposeful life.

Listen to Episode 117 to learn more!

Show Note

• Addiction according to Gabor Maté [5:23]
• The downside of overworking [11:51]
• Why should we let ourselves feel and release negative emotions? [17:28]
• What is trauma? [21:18]
• The process of understanding the wisdom of trauma [24:07]
• The difference between healthy attachment and unhealthy attachment among children[27:10]
• What are the healthy attachments among adults? [33:06]
• Finding a healthier way to connect with people [35:51]

We are the ones who create the future of our world. Our choices, habits, and behaviors have a significant role in shaping the world we want to live in. It has an impact on and defines society's so-called standards; what our society considers natural or normal.

There are many unhealthy things that are seen as normal in our society, and one of them is the normalization of porn consumption. The porn industry has developed throughout time as the internet has grown in popularity. People have come to rely on it for their satisfaction, which has led to addiction. Porn is destructive and promotes the lowering of women's reputations. It gives people an erroneous vision of what sexuality is all about. It is harmful not just because of the addictive behavior it fosters, but also because of the values it promotes. Instead of wasting our time and energy on things that do not serve us, we can invest our time and energy in things that will help us grow and lead us to a life filled with true happiness. Our small actions can have a significant impact on our society.

It is up to us to decide whether we want a healthy environment in which we may live a fulfilled life or one in which we are encouraged to partake in "normal" things that are not actually beneficial for us.

In Episode 116, Andrew and Benjy talk about what impact our sexuality has on humanity's fate as well as how we can contribute to creating a better world. They also discuss how porn has a negative effect on our perceptions of sexuality, as well as how High Noon can help and be an essential piece of someone's recovery from porn addiction.

High Noon is one of the organizations working to make the world a better place for all of us. It's a group of people who help one another in developing sexual integrity, developing healthy habits, and permanently eliminating porn and masturbation from their lives.

Listen to Episode 116 to learn more!

Show Notes

• Sexuality plays an important role in this 'new world' [5:17]
• What does decentralized sexuality entail? [7:37]
• A dynamic society [9:20]
• What impact do our decisions have on the world we live in? [17:13]
• Our small part has a big impact on the entire society [22:12]
• Your recovery matters [22:45]

There are habits that make us feel comfortable; habits that let us escape a stressful life. Because this habit has become our comfort or routine, we don't bother to assess whether it is healthy or not, or we realize it is a bad habit, but won't admit it to ourselves or others.

It is always up to us to decide on the kind of life we would want to live; whether we want an isolated life where we use addiction or a bad habit as an escape, or a life filled with people who will help us overcome our struggles and push us to find joy in the chaos.

Living a life free of bad habits and addiction begins with the decision to draw a line in the sand where we go beyond what we consider to be our 'limit.' It's when we've made the decision to go to a point where we're willing to go to any length to grow and heal.

In Episode 115, Andrew talks about what it means to draw a line in the sand in order to break free from a bad habit or addiction, as well as the value of self-love.

There will be seasons in our lives when we don't feel as connected to ourselves as we usually do, times when we can become hard on ourselves in our desire to 'perfect' ourselves. Yet this ends up hurting us. Self-love is a practice, not a goal. It will be difficult to practice self-love if we punish ourselves for our mistakes rather than learn from them. The greatest amount of love we have should be poured on ourselves.

Listen to Episode 115 for more!

Show Notes

• The value of self-love [0:41]
• Breaking free from porn addiction [3:31]
• How to overcome the bad habit in our lives [6:18]
• The line in the sand [9:25]

Traditional teachings serve as a guide in our lives as well as a foundation and basis in many areas of society. Being able to build a greater awareness of the world through having a deeper comprehension of traditional teachings is vital as it allows us to discover how things work in real-life situations and how we may apply those teachings to our contemporary lives.

The Torah is the most important document of Judaism, and Jews have relied on it throughout history. It continues to play an important role in Jewish people's lives and provides important guidance.

As the Jewish community places a high emphasis on family values, sex and marriage are intimately connected wherein sex should only take place within a marriage at the right time and with the proper intent.

In Judaism, love should be selfless, as love isn't through what we're receiving, but it's actually through how much we're giving to the other person. It is important to have a stronger and higher connection with each other before beginning a relationship as they view marriage as a significant aspect of our lives. Marriage isn't just about men and women becoming one, but more than that, it is the beginning of a closer relationship with God, who witnessed the union.

In Episode 114, we are joined by Rabbi Daniel Bortz, widely known as The Millennial Rabbi. He spent his teenage years studying Jewish wisdom and gaining a greater knowledge of it. He also explored Biblical, Talmudic, and Jewish mystical teachings in schools around the world. After earning his Rabbinic degree, he created an organization called SOUL X Academy that focuses on cultivating profound soul connections among adults through the experiential events they offer. He is a captivating speaker and experiential guide who shares the beautiful things he has learned while exploring Jewish wisdom with today's generation, the millennials.

Rabbi Daniel shares with us the mystical teachings of Jewish, the significance of marriage, and how sexuality is viewed from the Judaism perspective. He discusses the negative impacts of pornography and how a Rabbi like himself can help someone who is struggling with addiction. He also talks about the importance of having a positive mindset in life and the value of separating work from home and family.

Listen to Episode 114 for more!

Show Notes

• What is Jewish mysticism all about? [2:16]
• The importance of marriage in Jewish mysticism [5:39]
• Focusing on self-improvement as a way of preparing for a relationship [7:17]
• The religious Jewish approach on finding a partner [9:36]
• Marriage from the Judaism perspective [14:13]
• The significance of learning about the Torah [16:57]
• Happiness is a byproduct of living a meaningful life [18:48]
• What is Mikvah all about? [21:52]
• The significance of sexuality from a spiritual lens [32:34]
• What is Kabbalah all about? [40:02]
• How does the Jewish community deal with pornography? [40:48]
• How does a Rabbi help someone who is struggling with addiction?? [43:48]
• The importance of having a positive mindset [51:15]
• Jewish people see home as the holiest place on Earth [55:23]

It can be comforting to do things that we are familiar with and sometimes we just let things be because we are scared to take a hard look at ourselves and see if the way we're living can make us a better person or not. Other times, we know our habits and attitude aren't good, but it's difficult to admit it because we're afraid to leave our comfort zone. Change will not come to us; there will be no right person or time for us to make that change as we're the ones who will seek it out - it comes from our willingness to actually do it. Change begins the moment we step out of our comfort zone.

We are who we associate with, so we must carefully select the people with whom we spend our time and energy. It is vital to surround ourselves with people that empower, encourage, and help us in being the person we aim to be and living a meaningful life.

High Noon is more than simply an organization; it is a community of genuine individuals that are prepared and willing to be part of someone's journey to self-improvement and healing.

High Noon offers programs to help individuals overcome their porn addiction while also developing sexual integrity; they also provide programs for married couples, singles, and parents. These programs are made up of courses that will guide people on their journey, and whether they will work or not is still up to us.

In Episode 113, Andrew and Benjy talk about High Noon and how it functions. They also discuss the significance of commitment for people who want to make a difference in their lives, as well as how High Noon may serve as an accountability partner.

Listen to Episode 113 to learn more!

Show Notes

• High Noon is a community [3:22]
• Breaking free from porn [7:42]
• Does High Noon work? [13:23]
• The Northstar goal [18:13]
• The importance of understanding the process of restoring oneself [20:42]
• The value of testimonies to the community [23:50]
• The five virtues of High Noon [27:13]
• What High Noon is set up for? [30:18]
• High Noon is an accountability partner [30:58]

Having social anxiety is more than just being uncomfortable around people - it involves fear that one might be judged or criticized negatively, which results in being self-conscious and losing confidence to show their true selves. Having the courage to interact with others can be frightening at first, but it will benefit us in many ways and bring out the best version of ourselves in all aspects of our lives.

It's difficult to live with this anxiety because it hinders us from experiencing the unexpectedly amazing experiences that people around us can possibly bring. Connecting with people who inspire and push us to become the person we want to be can allow us to see life in a new light. Most importantly, connecting with genuine people can save us from self-destruction and become a blessing to the lives of those around us as well.

In Episode 112, Andrew and Benjy talk about how to deal with social anxiety as well as the importance of socialization in our lives. They also discuss how significant it is to have an accountable community to provide us warmth and guidance.

Learning to step outside of our comfort zones and try new things might be intimidating at first, but it does not mean we should avoid doing so simply because it is unfamiliar. One of the best things we can have in this lifetime is to have people with whom we feel comfortable being ourselves, and High Noon is an accountable community where we can meet people who will help us become the person we want to be and live a fulfilled life.

Listen to Episode 112 to learn more!

Show Notes

• The significance of sociality in our life [1:05]
• The struggle of having social anxiety [5:18]
• Social anxiety can be self-destructive [12:40]
• How to connect with people [18:57]
• The importance of socializing with a moral based community [23:28]
• High Noon is an accountable community [25:39]
• Isolation isn't healthy and should be avoided [28:35]
• Don't be scared to grow into the person you want to be [29:21]
• The secret to life [34:35]