Lusty Library: A Spicy Romance Book Podcast

We may have finally found it: The book that is so goddamn steamy, you’re going to need windshield wipers for your eyeballs and a fire extinguisher for your pants! Join The Dames as they drag their pal Moll headfirst into the Omega-verse with Heat Clinic by Alexis B. Osborne. 

We’re talking heats, Alphas, Omegas, AND, a sexy-as-hell Heat Minder Beta who will surely get your temperature to rise.

After everything we’ve read. After everything we’ve survived. After all the questionable literary decisions we’ve made as a group… could Heat Clinic finally cause one of our hosts to stare blankly into the void, clutch her pearls, and whisper: “Is this book actually too smutty for me?”

The Lusty Library theme song - "Cantaloupe" by RA

Website: thelustylibrarypodcast.com
Instagram: @the_lusty_library_podcast
Facebook: The Lusty Library Podcast
Bluesky:@lustylibrarypod
Email: [email protected]

Left unsupervised, Joey and Birdie went feral on the internet and chose chaos. The Dames unearthed the weirdest, most unhinged books known to mankind. Then, naturally, they decided to put them in a literary cage match.

Welcome to the FIRST EVER BATTLE OF THE UNHINGED BOOKS!

Birdie’s Pick: Unhinged by Vera Valentine — an erotic paranormal romance. Because apparently humans are too boring. Why not fall for a sentient door with questionable anatomy and the very real possibility of splinters in your tender bits? Can you consider it foreplay?

Joey’s Pick: Pounded by Produce by G.M. Fairy — a monster romance parody featuring two priests, fresh-picked juicy produce that will have you wondering why you're looking at your next salad as a sexual threat.

Will Joey the resident smut slut come out victorious in this battle, or will Birdie the smutling-in-training be able to take down the queen?! Listeners: Your vote will decide who takes the crown! Cast your vote at Lusty Library Podcast on Facebook & Instagram, or @lustylibrarypod on Bluesky.

The Lusty Library theme song - "Cantaloupe" by RA

Website: thelustylibrarypodcast.com

Instagram: @the_lusty_library_podcast

Facebook: The Lusty Library Podcast

Bluesky:@lustylibrarypod

Email: [email protected]

Secrets? Check. Hot garage boys? Unfortunately, yes. Vintage cars? A whole damn parking lot of 'em. Enough sexual tension to send your Pinterest board into a full shrine of old cars captioned with men's names in pink cursive? You already know.

Join The Dames as they unpack all the drama in the viral BookTok sensation Flock by Kate Stewart. This episode features an alarming amount of enthusiasm for fictional men who should legally require a warning label. Meanwhile, Birdie spends a suspicious percentage of runtime spontaneously screaming "HOT!"...Leaving Lexx and Joey to quietly wonder if she's joined a cult! 

The Lusty Library theme song - "Cantaloupe" by RA

Website: thelustylibrarypodcast.com

Instagram: @the_lusty_library_podcast

Facebook: The Lusty Library Podcast

Bluesky:@lustylibrarypod

Email: [email protected]

Congratulations to us! We have officially reached 50 episodes, which is honestly terrifying because this podcast should've been put on a watchlist around Episode 3... and yet, here we are. Completely unsupervised.

Join us Dirty Dames as we celebrate this wildly unnecessary milestone the only way we know how: with cocktails, cake, chaos, and enough collective delusion to convince ourselves the morally gray guy with the dagger collection is actually "just misunderstood."

Whether you've been here since Episode 1 or you accidentally hit play because your thumb slipped, welcome. You're one of us now. Therapy has a waitlist, but this episode is available immediately.

Cheers to 50 episodes of cackling, feral book boyfriend debates, questionable opinions, and enough internet evidence to ensure we'll never be elected to public office. We regret almost nothing. And if you take away one piece of advice from this episode, let it be this:

If he doesn't kneel, call you "baby," worship the ground you dramatically stomp across, and look at you like the moon personally clocked in just to light your face...close the book. DNF the man and return him to the bookstore!!

The Lusty Library theme song - "Cantaloupe" by RA

Website: thelustylibrarypodcast.com

Instagram: @the_lusty_library_podcast

Facebook: The Lusty Library Podcast

Bluesky:@lustylibrarypod

Email: [email protected]

This episode features haunted mansions, supernatural chaos, unbearable longing, deadly trials, emotional damage, and an MMC who could absolutely ruin your life...and somehow you'd still be screaming, "But he's so romantic!"

Join The Dames as they descend through all nine levels of hell with Phantasma by Kaylie Smith, the BookTok-favorite dark fantasy romance packed with gothic horror, deadly competition, and "I can save him" delusion. By the end, every red flag will look suspiciously green.

Side effects may include excessive giggling like Victorian women who've glimpsed an exposed ankle, shouting "I'd risk it all" out loud to no one, and adding yet another morally questionable man to your book boyfriend roster. Enter the mansion, and leave your common sense—and your standards—at the door.

The Lusty Library theme song - "Cantaloupe" by RA

Website: thelustylibrarypodcast.com

Instagram: @the_lusty_library_podcast

Facebook: The Lusty Library Podcast

Bluesky:@lustylibrarypod

Email: [email protected]

Nobody expected a gothic Victorian romance to get everyone acting unhinged, but The Poisoner by I.V. Ophelia has managed to do just that! 

Birdie was done the moment she saw the cover. Before anyone had been poisoned, bitten, or betrayed, she was already kicking her feet and twirling her hair.

Meanwhile, Lexx is fighting for her life against a gloriously unhinged take on the knot trope all while her historical fact-checking genes activate around Chapter 3 and immediately begin demanding answers. 

And Joey? Well Joey has strapped on her adult bib and settled in at the all-you-can-eat buffet of banter, happily feasting on every sarcastic exchange and tension filled verbal sparring match. 

The Lusty Library theme song - "Cantaloupe" by RA

Website: thelustylibrarypodcast.com

Instagram: @the_lusty_library_podcast

Facebook: The Lusty Library Podcast

Bluesky:@lustylibrarypod

Email: [email protected]

Somebody call the FBI because Joey is breaking every rule of the podcast and bringing out her all-time favorite dark romance novel for this episode.  Join The Dames as they binge-read their way through The Risk by S.T. Abby.  If you like books packed with serial killer chaos, revenge plots, and one wildly unhinged FMC you would absolutely help hide a body for, then Captain Joey would like to formally welcome you to her team.

The Lusty Library theme song - "Cantaloupe" by RA

Website: thelustylibrarypodcast.com

Instagram: @the_lusty_library_podcast

Facebook: The Lusty Library Podcast

Bluesky:@lustylibrarypod

Email: [email protected]

Want to meet the coolest mom ever? This Mother’s Day, The Dames welcome Lexx’s Mum for a heartfelt conversation full of her sage wisdom you won’t want to miss. Travel back in time to 1983 small town Dalton Montana courtesy of Bluebird Gold by Devney Perry. Can The Dames discuss the plot like respectful intelligent humans or will they find themselves fully derailed by vivid mental images of thick-thighed Sheriffs breaking up bar fights in Wranglers so tight they should come with a warning label?  Be serious. You already know the answer.

The Lusty Library theme song - "Cantaloupe" by RA

Website: thelustylibrarypodcast.com

Instagram: @the_lusty_library_podcast

Facebook: The Lusty Library Podcast

Bluesky:@lustylibrarypod

Email: [email protected]

Birdie claimed part two was “for closure,” which is hilarious because there is no closure in this episode, but rather the continuation of a rapid, irreversible descent into the cult of male/male hockey romance...

In this special Part-2 Episode, The Dames reheat Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid for another glorious hour, all while making utterly lewd hydration choices. At this point, Birdie has dropped all pretense of normalcy and is fully feral. Someone should probably check on us- but honestly, don’t. We’re exactly as gone as we’ve always been, just louder about it now.

The Lusty Library theme song - "Cantaloupe" by RA

Website: thelustylibrarypodcast.com

Instagram: @the_lusty_library_podcast

Facebook: The Lusty Library Podcast

Bluesky:@lustylibrarypod

Email: [email protected]

Birdie held the podcast hostage and threatened to quit unless we read this book immediately, so obviously we folded like a cheap lawn chair. Join The Dames as we body-check our way into Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid. Is it an obsession? A commitment? A lifestyle? A cry for help? Birdie says it’s just “devouring positive content,” which apparently means consuming hockey romance at a pace that concerns medical professionals. Anyway, helmets on. We’re smashing into the boards and Birdie is absolutely in heaven.

The Lusty Library theme song - "Cantaloupe" by RA

Website: thelustylibrarypodcast.com
Instagram: @the_lusty_library_podcast
Facebook: The Lusty Library Podcast
Bluesky:@lustylibrarypod
Email: [email protected]