Love is for anyone who chooses to have it.  But unless you're one of the very lucky few, it doesn't "just happen," or come to us when "we least expect it."  If you're past the age of 30, you've likely endured many heartbreaks and romantic dry spells. If you're enduring one now, you can feel defeated, if not downright depressed.  But what if you're not in the mindset to manifest, or you can't override what's happening in the moment?  No need to put on a happy face. In this episode, I give you a reframe that is going to get you back in the game, no matter how desolate or desperate your reality may seem. 

Nine months ago, 26-yr-old Amara told me she was “too clingy, needy, and emotional” in her relationship.  After our discussion, Amara took action. She is now at a much better place with her boyfriend, Tony, but continues to question if she is “asking for too much.” Tony says he feels Amara “doesn’t appreciate him,” so he is unwilling to move forward with getting engaged.  On this episode of Make Him Wonder, I explain what Tony needs from Amara to feel safe to get engaged and help Amara reorient her thoughts towards what is realistic to expect in a relationship.

33-yr-old Esme and 37-yr-old Ivan have been dating for 6 weeks. Despite all indicators that Ivan wants to move forward in a relationship, Esme is concerned that once the two have sex, the positive momentum could abruptly stop. Wondering what will give her the best chance of Ivan wanting her for his forever “one,” and not distancing, Esme comes on Make Him Wonder to find out when it’s okay to spend the night and have sex for the first time.

It was love at first sight for 30-yr-old Lucia when she saw 23-yr-old Brian performing on a street in her city. Artistic and sweet, Lucia viewed Brian as different from other men, both younger and older, and let herself fall hard.  Now, only 3 weeks later, Lucia is feeling intense anxiety over Brian not showing up for her in the ways she expected.  On this episode, Paula helps Lucia explore her struggle with anxious attachment, as well as manage Brian’s behavior, and her own expectations.

35-yr-old Christine, reached out to her ex, 35-yr-old Maurice, who lives in another state. He responded positively and has been consistent, but Christine continues to sabotage her chances by openly questioning Maurice on his level of interest. On this episode of Make Him Wonder, Paula outlines what changes Christine needs to make regarding her self-love, so that she can see Maurice’s attention in a positive light and manifest the positive outcome she desires.

36-yr-old single mom, Madison, slept with 31-yr-old Mike on the first date. But despite Mike’s continued pursuit and behavior that suggests he’s thinking of Madison as a possible girlfriend, Madison can’t quell her anxiety and negative thoughts. Despite trying hard to text and behave in ways that show her self-worth, Madison made a big misstep on social media that caused Mike to ghost her. In this episode, Paula gives Madison the text she must send to rectify her mistake and allow Mike to move forward.

42-yr-old Skylar has been in no-contact with 44-yr-old Jason for five months. Recently questioning herself, Skylar wants to know if reaching out will lessen her chances of getting back together.  To her surprise, I coach Skylar on why and how she should be reaching out to increase the possibility of Jason feeling safe to return, and to restart their relationship.

36-yr-old Pippa had a great, connected relationship with 31-yr-old Dan.  With so much in common, things starting-off right, and Dan wanting to spend most of his free time with Pippa, she was blindsided when he went awol.  Finding out that he had started seeing someone else, Pippa went-off on Dan, and now she’s blocked.  Wanting to get back on track, Pippa comes on Make Him Wonder to get Paula’s coaching to understand when things changed for Dan, and what to do to get him back desiring the commitment he did in past.

After three years of having an affair with 46-yr-old married man, Jim, 43-yr-old Morgan’s dream of Jim being separated finally came to pass.  But instead of Jim being freer to be with Morgan, he has retreated.   On this episode of Make Him Wonder, Paula discovers that there is much more to the story of Morgan and Jim than what she was initially told.  More than a “simple” love triangle, the effects of this affair are wider-reaching and complicated.  Not for the faint of heart where marriage is concerned, Paula attempts to help Morgan sort out her feelings and feel hopeful about a future with the man she loves and desires.

44-yr-old Darlene had been separated for 18 months when she began a FWB relationship with 40-yr-old divorced, Paul. Despite telling Darlene he loved her and didn’t want to let her go; Paul wasn’t ready for commitment. On this episode of Make Him Wonder, Darlene returns to ask me what her last words to Paul should be, and how she can begin dating again with an ex-husband who is still making advances.