Make Him Wonder

41-yr-old Elaine recently rendezvoused with a former love who she hadn’t seen in five years, who lives in another country. Despite being told he’s not ready for marriage now, Elaine feels there may be a future this time around. On this episode of Make Him Wonder, I explains the mixed-messages Elaine sent when agreeing to see her ex, and what she can say now to find out if he can possibly be ready for the commitment and family she desires.

After 2 years of one heartbreak after another, including 2 pregnancies, 43-yr-old Lynn realizes 43-yr-old Mike is not ready, willing, or able to make her a priority.  While knowing that she must move on, Lynn struggles with the anxiety associated with blaming herself for the breakup. In this episode of Make Him Wonder, Paula gives Lynn the key to unlock what is holding her back from fully moving on and discusses if, and when, it is possible to find romance with another when continuing to be friends with an ex.

The most common reasons for divorce include infidelity, addiction, financial conflicts, and basic incompatibility.   My divorce was not for any of those reasons, and precisely the reason that my ex and I have been able to forge a friendship. In this episode of Make Him Wonder, John and I take a look back at the how and why of our parting, and I round it out with some stats about friendship following the dissolution of a marriage. Should exes remain friends?  The answer to that question has as many answers as there are couples, but one thing is certain: If both of you are not 100% on the same page, have new partners who aren't cool with it, or if you have any unresolved feelings of wanting to get back together, it will not work, nor is it a good idea.  I count my blessings on all fronts, and via this conversation, I find out that my ex does, as well.

Recently out of a 6-yr relationship, 40-yr-old Jasmine finds herself wondering if her accommodating ways allowed her ex to put her in the “fun-girl” category and may have kept the couple from going the distance.  In this episode of Make Him Wonder, Jasmine and I take a deep-dive on how making things easy for a man doesn’t offer him enough challenge, and what every woman can do subtlety and energetically to increase a man’s interest from the start.

39-yr-old Jolie is recently out of a situationship with 40-yr-old James. Jolie says she would have liked to have been married with children, by now, but finds it hard to be attracted to men who want a family life. Feeling frustrated and fearful, Jolie comes on Make Him Wonder to find out why she might be self-sabotaging, and what she can do to increase her chances of fulfilling her desires and destiny.

32-yr-old Brianne says it’s a pattern of hers to have men “very interested” from the start only to end up “walking away” after she “harasses” them when she doesn’t receive the time and attention she wants. 42-yr-old Carl is no exception. A military man and away a lot, Brianne lets her anxiety get the best of her.  On this episode, hear how Brianne falls prey to her emotions that make Carl the bad guy, eroding his desire to make things official.

Go big or go home!  In Season Four, Episode One, I outline how playing it small may be hurting your chances of having the most fulfilling life and love, long term. If you're out there dating, be sure to listen so you see the big picture as it relates to dating and having a life-long mate.  

48-yr-old, Kelley, was in an 8-yr relationship with 41-yr-old, Corey. After sustaining several breakups, Corey moved out a year ago and began seeing a woman from work. But Kelley has kept Corey in her life financially, emotionally, and physically, believing that being a friend on good terms will help him to see that the two are meant to be together.  On this episode of Make Him Wonder, I explain my Lure-Him-Back approach, and how Kelley can turn back the clock on her relationship for the desired ending she deserves.

29-yr-old Daniella met Dan at a club and went home with him the same night.  After several great dates, and seemingly interested for more, Dan pulled back.  Shortly thereafter, while away on business, Dan asked Daniella to fly to be with him, yet he didn’t follow through. Not hearing from Dan for weeks, Daniella seeks clarity on possible next steps. Paula explains what Daniella can do to have a chance to be dancing with Dan, again, like when they first met.

Understanding men is about more than relating to them intellectually, emotionally, and sexually.  It encompasses knowing our fundamental differences and handling them in the most effective way.  This allows us to have the best experience and give men the best of ourselves in return.  Handling a man's wandering eye effectively helps him to understand what is best socially for the sake of your relationship.  On this episode, I expose interesting research that will help you relate to your man's experience of being a man, in order to help you experience the best of him.