Make Room For Sports

Only Simon and Mikal show up for the episode and it's unclear if they cover Sports News or not.  They do discuss prunes and O.J. Simpson.

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The first episode of 2018 in which all four of the MRFS guys manage to show up.  And they really regret it.  After a few months sabbatical, the sports groove is gone.  Too bad since Simon managed to set up an interview with Tom Brady, who talks way too much about Giselle and some other semi-offensive stuff, while the MRFS guys are mysteriously quiet. The episode also features brief commentary on Duke's loss, which can be blamed on Grayson Allen.  The guys honor Sports Day, the beginning of the sports year, which everyone knows is every March 25th.  Mikal gives a sneak preview of his book report on the biography of MLB hero Roberto Clemente.  Mikal also tries to share some knowledge on lesser known sports such at Wife Carrying and Chess Boxing.  And the most average sized NBA player is revealed!  We apologize in advance.

We're back with another hour of the most true sports facts permissible by law, including some thoroughly on-brand stories: Blake Griffin's injury at the hands of JaVale McGee, the Brown's 0-16 parade, the Chiefs second half debacle, and Jon Gruden's catch phrases. PLUS: why do voice's crack, Joel Embiid and Markelle Fultz went to the mall, Weekend at Bernie's theory, Dr. J is OK again, what's up the score 33 in football, Andrew Bogut got released, and Bills and Bengals fans are doing something or other with buffalo wings.

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We recorded this episode MERE MINUTES after God smote the knee of Carson Wentz, and as result, Mike's emotional state is so compromised that his weird vibe settled on the whole crew, resulting in our most PROBLEMATIC and DEPRESSING episode ever. Simon regales us with his story about the clock malfunction at the Clippers/Wizards game he recently attended, we re-break the news of the time M. Night Shyamalan compelled Bryan Cranston to spank Tony Parker, and bumble through a segment on the Daryl Takahashi cat saga. Then Mikal finds a website about NBA cats and uses it to teach Mike something about being a man, who subsequently offers a SHOWSTOPPING REFERENCE to John Keats and half-recalls a story about Kevin Durant Hiding from Demarcus "Boogie" Cousins. At the end, and with the force of ONE THOUSAND WINDS, Mikal brings forth a Gatorade Hot Five Top Five.

Our mysterious fan from Hong Kong emerges with a guest spot on today's episode and teaches us about Chinese sports, Canadian sports, Badminton, the Grey Cup, and watching the NFL in China. To our delight, he surprises us with his sports knowledge, shares some childhood details, and talks about brushing his teeth. Simon accidentally stumbles upon an idea for a great movie premise, Mikal is only vaguely problematic once or twice, Demarcus "Boogie" Cousins is mentioned exactly once, and we field a Chinese Dragon Racing team.

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Another week, another epic episode of sports news delivered by the only people left who understand sports.  Simon comes out strong as we discuss Eli Manning being euthanized, old school colognes like Drakkar Noir, the flammability of Brut, the sadness of watching the Sixers blow a strong lead, the possibility of Joel Embiid's top-notch shit talking actually being a sign of some deep-seeded insecurity, Mikal hearing a beeping sound no one else hears, TJ McConnell being worth it, what the coach said to Giannis Antetokounmpo that made him say the F-word, how virginity affects sports play, and the introduction of the theory that everyone on the 76ers is a virgin.

The Sixers swelled and then punctured America's heart in their loss to known ISIS supporters the Golden State Warriors, but that's okay because our despair is zinger-friendly. Mikal gives a Gatorade addiction update, we talk about microphones for some reason, and then, around the halfway point, things heat up: we figure out the LiAngelo Ball thing, Dave provides a few consumer safety reports (it's likely you've consumed glass), and we spend, unbelievably, more than ten minutes distinguishing between Jusef Nurkic and Nikola Jokic. At the end, with nowhere to turn, we see who can name the most animals in fifteen seconds.

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