While Simon serves a one-week suspension, the rest of us shit talk him and eventually ENTER OUR SUSPSIONS about his identity as a Hollywood fimmaker INTO THE PUBLIC RECORD. We talk NBA free agency, which, frankly, is a bit of a snooze, but eventually we get our SEA LEGS under us and deliver the STRAIGHT DOPE about tennis dreamboats, which of us has the best voice, the history of the high-five, Mikal's Gatorade sobriety, and how Mikal should feel about Colin Kaepernick.

Mike's shower curtain: https://www.amazon.com/Galaxy-Animal-Design-Polyester-Curtain/dp/B00Y2IDS96/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1499367999&sr=8-7&keywords=funny+shower+curtain

Simon's shower curtain: https://www.amazon.com/Slothzilla-Shower-Curtain-Climbing-Animal/dp/B00I53704S/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1499367999&sr=8-4&keywords=funny+shower+curtain

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After six months of SWEET ANTICIPATION, Mikal finally has cause to bring up Brook and Robin Lopez, the NBA's most famous set of twins. Mike wants to know if Mikal's friend liked his Lonzo Ball joke, Simon gets compared to Jimmy Butler and wants to know if that's praise or defamation, and we illuminate upcoming Connor McGregor/Floyd Mayweather fight. Then, at America's behest, we CRANK UP our SPORTS EXPERTISE to LEVEL 11 in order to bring you STRAIGHT DOPE on the way tennis matches are scored, which leads to a series of BONUS THESES about tennis grunts, ball boys, Steph Curry's mouthguard, grass vs. Klay, and other junk about stuff. Finally, we ask the tough questions about baseball and, inevitably, wind up talking about nipples. Plus: Mike admits he was once too embarassed to purchase boxing gloves, we (sorry) test the mechanical fortitude of the PROBLEMATIC SPEECH COUNTER, and much, much more!!!

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Dave texts us some vibes in absentia but is otherwise ON SPORTS HIATUS AGAIN in the Nordic woods, so the original sports pals grit our teeth and serve up another JAM-PACKED hour of topical sports analysis: Mikal eats burritos on the beach, THE BOOK OF HENRY gave Simon a hangover, Rafael Nadal is the best on Klay Thompson, it's unethical to ask NBA players to stop throwing things in baskets during the offseason, LeBron James: Bladder Analysis, WIMBLEDON IS COMING UP and we know how to spell Wimbledon and Wimbledon does or does not include a free breakfast, and we enjoy the visual ASMR of hydraulic press videos live on the air. Plus: THE PROBLEMATIC SPEECH COUNTER, THAT'S FRIENDSHIP, LET'S GET SERIOUS, and much, much more!!!

@makeroom4sports

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The three founding SPORTS BROS convene a meeting of the original MRFS triumvirate and go WHOLE HOG on the week in "sports" "news": Steph Curry's air dump! The male stripper and chihuahua who performed at halftime at the Oracle Arena this week! And other junk! Then we spend ten minutes falling in love with Justin Bieber's sports tweets, permitting their obscure beauty to shine a light onto our own OFFICIAL PODCAST MISSION STATEMENT. Due to a complicated legal situation, we spend about ten minutes TALKIN' NHL HOCKEY, which, in a sinister twist, leads to an exchange in which Mikal declares he will only stop snacking on-air if Mike spanks himself. And then--more junk! Mike tells an embarrassing story about a late-night mistext involving "Whomp There it Is" by Tag Team, we fantasize about Grayson Allen having elective leg surgery, Mikal breaks some news about Charles Barkley, and Simon reports on Gatorade Gum, Big League Chew, and something he claims is real called Qwench Gum. We'll try harder next week.

Help us help you:

@makeroom4sports

makeroomforsports on Instagram

The three founding SPORTS BROS convene a meeting of the original MRFS triumvirate and go WHOLE HOG on the week in "sports" "news": Steph Curry's air dump! The male stripper and chihuahua who performed at halftime at the Oracle Arena this week! And other junk! Then we spend ten minutes falling in love with Justin Bieber's sports tweets, permitting their obscure beauty to shine a light onto our own OFFICIAL PODCAST MISSION STATEMENT. Due to a complicated legal situation, we spend about ten minutes TALKIN' NHL HOCKEY, which, in a sinister twist, leads to an exchange in which Mikal declares he will only stop snacking on-air if Mike spanks himself. And then--more junk! Mike tells an embarrassing story about a late-night mistext involving "Whomp There it Is" by Tag Team, we fantasize about Grayson Allen having elective leg surgery, Mikal breaks some news about Charles Barkley, and Simon reports on Gatorade Gum, Big League Chew, and something he claims is real called Qwench Gum. We'll try harder next week.

Help us help you:

@makeroom4sports

makeroomforsports on Instagram

We gather around the Skype-glow in the cold light of Saturday morning to recap Game 4 of Calves/Boringers and chat about Dwayne Wade's outfit, the Warriors' PB&J situation, LeBron James' self-pass, Steph Curry's air dump, Draymond Green's phantom technical foul, and Zaza Pachulia's general terribleness. We also come up with a bunch of new nicknames for Iman Shumpert that are likely to shake you to your very core.

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The gang tracks down Dave, who calls in from Finland while on SPORTS ASSIGNMENT, and we get distracted for the first twenty minutes jibber-jabbering about Salibandyliiga (a.k.a. floorball) (a.k.a. we don't know what it is), curling, jai alai, eSports, and the USA Rock Paper Scissors League, the end result of which is our DEFINITIVE SETTLING of the issue of popular and unpopular sports whose participants have or do not have a sense of humor about the sports themselves. In the second half of the show, Mikal offers a heartfelt (?) admission that he is addicted to Gatorade, and we SOMEHOW, with no regard for our own basic BIOLOGICAL NEEDS, also serve up the final word on Shaquille O'Neal's 1999 dunk on Chris Dudley, the 1965 Koufax/Marichal/Roseboro kerfuffle, common Saved By the Bell plot points, Mr. Met's delightful obscenity, and Kevin Durant dunking on everybody. Then, AT LONG LAST, Mike offers his delirious Marxist perspective on sports viewing and we premiere Mikal's NBA Finals theme song, a Lynchian masterstroke that requires of you a lot of time and at least one diaper.

Plus: THAT'S FRIENDSHIP, PROBLEMATIC SPEECH COUNTER, LET'S REPHRASE THAT, and much, much more!!!

Shaq's rude dunk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ICBi-ku-G0

Catfish on the ice! https://theringer.com/2017-stanley-cup-finals-penguins-predators-catfish-throw-6aa380f6e6c4

Koufax/Marichal/Roseboro:http://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/13463881/juan-marichal-hit-john-roseboro-bat-ugly-baseball-brawl-50-years-ago

Help us help you: [email protected]

The gang tracks down Dave, who calls in from Finland while on SPORTS ASSIGNMENT, and we get distracted for the first twenty minutes jibber-jabbering about Salibandyliiga (a.k.a. floorball) (a.k.a. we don't know what it is), curling, jai alai, eSports, and the USA Rock Paper Scissors League, the end result of which is our DEFINITIVE SETTLING of the issue of popular and unpopular sports whose participants have or do not have a sense of humor about the sports themselves. In the second half of the show, Mikal offers a heartfelt (?) admission that he is addicted to Gatorade, and we SOMEHOW, with no regard for our own basic BIOLOGICAL NEEDS, also serve up the final word on Shaquille O'Neal's 1999 dunk on Chris Dudley, the 1965 Koufax/Marichal/Roseboro kerfuffle, common Saved By the Bell plot points, Mr. Met's delightful obscenity, and Kevin Durant dunking on everybody. Then, AT LONG LAST, Mike offers his delirious Marxist perspective on sports viewing and we premiere Mikal's NBA Finals theme song, a Lynchian masterstroke that requires of you a lot of time and at least one diaper.

Plus: THAT'S FRIENDSHIP, PROBLEMATIC SPEECH COUNTER, LET'S REPHRASE THAT, and much, much more!!!

Shaq's rude dunk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ICBi-ku-G0

Catfish on the ice! https://theringer.com/2017-stanley-cup-finals-penguins-predators-catfish-throw-6aa380f6e6c4

Koufax/Marichal/Roseboro:http://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/13463881/juan-marichal-hit-john-roseboro-bat-ugly-baseball-brawl-50-years-ago

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This week, Mikal is OUT RIDING FENCES, Simon is not sleeping well, Mike's headphones won't cooperate, and Dave has wifi problems: STRAP IN, AMERICA. Throughout this horrifying hour we pull the thread of America's SPORTS SWEATER and offer the final word on all the sports issues keeping you up at night: single-payer healthcare, LaVar Ball's brilliant hijinks, the Clinton campaign's downfall, the beards of the NBA finals, and President Erdogan of Turkey. Because of a court mandate, we also do TOP PLAYS OF THE WEEK, LET'S GET PERSONAL, GUT FEELINGS, THAT'S FRIENDSHIP, and LITERALLY thousands of other segments.

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This week, Dave completes his METEROIC RISE from guest all the way to host because Simon is on sports sabbatical. The remaining GENTLE BROS wade through the shallow waters of the world's most pressing sports news and carry those matters through their own psychological fogs, the end result of which is a JAM-PACKED romp including many of your favorite segments: LET'S ANALYZE IT, LET'S GET PERSONAL, THAT'S FRIENDSHIP, and, of course, TOP PLAYS OF THE WEEK. We spend half of the episode talking about Kevin Love and the other half Googling the names of hockey players. Also, this week features a white-hot MRFS listener-submitted theme song by the Ujj Family Band. DON'T MISS IT.

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