Make Room For Sports

We welcome our friend Norith Soth, who offers a taxonomy of lovable losers and helps us theorize what in the world happened to James Harden in Game 6. Then we ROLL UP OUR SLEEVES and educate ourselves about back surgery, Simon and Mikal's live WNBA experience, free throws in general, a whole bunch of other junk, and the week's TOP PLAYS. On the bright side, Mikal records while driving through a loud rainstorm, so this is by far our most relaxing and sleepable episode yet.

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Listeners: this is a strange episode. Mikal, who called out sick with the barfs, is guilted into calling in after we started, but his call causes Skype to splinter into several different conversations between or among random combinations of the four of us. Somehow, Simon managed to record a̶l̶l̶ some of them, and we've since spent what a pilot makes in a year in order to edit them into one dimension-busting hour of DEEPLY INFORMED "sports" "analysis," i.e. fifty-five minutes of HOOPS BLABBER that gives way to Simon's report on his night at a Muay Thai event at a Burbank hotel.

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Mike berates the NFL draft LIVE FROM PHILADELPHIA: there's a zip line, and the draftees like helping kids, and the traffic was bad. We learn the difference between the films DRAFT DAY and BACKDRAFT, shit talk Malcolm Gladwell, and then decide to talk about quarterbacks for fifteen minutes even though football season is five months away. But eventually–mercifully–we roll up our sleeves and get to the TOP PLAYS OF THE WEEK. Then we decide to learn a thing or two (but no more than two) about tennis, and we help Mikal brainstorm for his new song about the NBA Playoffs. But most important, this week we make podcast history by introducing the PROBLEMATIC SPEECH COUNTER so we can finally become passably decent citizens.

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Our last episode was so replete with errors and misgivings that we spend about twenty minutes this week making amends with America and the world. Then we crack into the HOTTEST SPORTS NEWS of the week: Grayson Allen is returning for one more year of trips and giggles, Blake Griffin has Blake Griffin'd his big toe, what's up with Rondo?, and lots of gum flapping about Houston/OKC. Things take a problematic turn into the world of gangs and sex, but we get back on track with some TOP PLAYS OF THE WEEK.

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Our last episode was so replete with errors and misgivings that we spend about twenty minutes this week making amends with America and the world. Then we crack into the HOTTEST SPORTS NEWS of the week: Grayson Allen is returning for one more year of trips and giggles, Blake Griffin has Blake Griffin'd his big toe, what's up with Rondo?, and lots of gum flapping about Houston/OKC. Things take a problematic turn into the world of gangs and sex, but we get back on track with some TOP PLAYS OF THE WEEK.

Do it to it: [email protected]

We are joined by the suspiciously knowledgeable and charming sports expert Albro Lundy, who puts us through the paces and brings our various ineptitudes into stark relief. After exhausting our baseball knowledge talking about the Marlins' celebrity feral cat, most of the episode is Albro and Dave going full HOOP NERD together in what is, hopefully not for worse, our most professional-seeming episode yet.

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Baby Dash is back on the scene! We have a totally gauche conversation about how much money everyone makes before moving on to the TOP SPORTS NEWS of the week, mainly: Yadier Molina or Tom Brady eats glass or gets a baseball stuck to him, or neither, or something. For some reason, Simon and Mikal role play a patient/therapist scenario, during which the SPORTS BROS get up to date on the best practices in handling panic attacks. After that, things get hard to describe, but for the record: Mikal can't stop thinking about animals that die on the field of play, we're confused about what happens in Detroit or Cleveland or New York, Simon hails from a town of perverts, and we allocate no fewer than four minutes to a delineation of the virtues of CAT NECKTIES.

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Without any regard for our own emotional wellness or audience preference, in what is surely a WORLD HISTORICAL RECORD, we offer a SECOND EPISODE this week: Mike and Mikal pitch a HOOPS MOVIE to Simon, Dave and Simon square off to see who can name more sports in a minute, Simon and Mikal preview the WNBA season, Dave disambiguates the NBA MVP race, and we settle some long-standing feuds and slights. We end up where we always do: talking about the facial hair of the Golden State Warriors and accusing each other of various degrees of political incorrectness.

Stand up and be heard: [email protected]

Without any regard for our own emotional wellness or audience preference, in what is surely a WORLD HISTORICAL RECORD, we offer a SECOND EPISODE this week: Mike and Mikal pitch a HOOPS MOVIE to Simon, Dave and Simon square off to see who can name more sports in a minute, Simon and Mikal preview the WNBA season, Dave disambiguates the NBA MVP race, and we settle some long-standing feuds and slights. We end up where we always do: talking about the facial hair of the Golden State Warriors and accusing each other of various degrees of political incorrectness.

Stand up and be heard: [email protected]

It's April Fools' day, but Mikal is wearing compression pants FOR REAL. Mike wins the TOP PLAY OF THE WEEK CONTEST in an apiological tour de force, we talk--yet again--about the difference between Warren and Jimmy Buffett, update America about MARCH MADNESS, and articulate our despair about how long and potentially boring baseball season might be. Plus: Simon lectures his friends about how to chew tobacco and develops his theory of no-pants baseball, Dave improves the show exponentially by keeping a shot clock, and (we're sorry) MUCH, MUCH MORE!!!

Helpful links:

Mikal's full NCAA song "Don't Drop the Ball"

https://soundcloud.com/nastymillionaire/ncaa-march-sadness-dont-drop-the-ball-official-ncaa-theme-song

Article and video about Jamarion Styles:

http://usatodayhss.com/2017/video-florida-middle-schooler-with-no-arms-hits-buzzer-three

Bees on the baseball field:

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/ct-bees-swarm-spring-training-game-20170331-story.html