Mama's Daily Dose

Save this one for when  you have a bad day!

We all have bad days. Bad days are going to happen. There are times when you can be positive and push through the muck and there are others where you simply need to sit back and accept your bad day.

Today is NOT my day!

Last week, I had one of those days. I woke up in crappy mood, wasn't feeling great, had all this stuff to do, hurt my toe, got stung by a wasp...and the hits just kept coming!

I finally said, "I'm having a bad day!" I told my kids and asked for a little grace that day.
 
I accepted the bad day and lived in my bad day. And you can do that. That is totally acceptable.

However, this is the key here - know that it is YOUR bad day. Don't go spreading it to others and blaming others. You can let them know, "Warning - I'm having a bad day!" But don't go trumping on other's days.

You are totally welcome to your bad day, but you don't need to pull people in with out.

The same with your kids! Often we can expect more out of our kids when it comes to their moods. But we all have bad days - babies, kids, adults...even dogs and cats!

Let your kids know the same - they can have a bad day, but it is theirs to have.

Next time you or your kid is having a bad day, accept it. Live in it. You don't always have to be positive there is value in acceptance.

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

"Lessons are caught not taught" - Ed Mylett

Do your kids like to copy what you do and say?

That whole, "do as I say, not as I do" doesn't really work in real life!

I know this happens ALL the time around my house. It's basically like living with 2 parrots! I realize my 5 year old uses the word "like" ALL the time...that's what being from California will do to a person. Not to mention some of the explicit words he's repeated as well.

But there are also times they mimic the good. When they say "please" and "thank you." When they start doing a workout on their own, or when they sit down and "read" a book.

Whether we like it or not, they are always watching and picking up on what we are doing (or not doing).

What is something you want to see your kids or say? Start exemplifying that today. The changes you want to see in your kids start with you.

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

Discipline is a part of parenting. Certainly not the best part, but a large part of it.

John Wooden (famous UCLA Basketball Coach) said, "we must remember why we discipline." We discipline to to learn and grow, not to punish.

There are so many different "parenting strategies" - gentle, free-range, positive and the list goes on. No matter your style and whether you prescribe to a specific strategy there is some kind of discipline involved in your parenting.

I know I've reverted back to punishment style:
"Why did you do that?"
"Think about what you did!"

And I've done it to myself as well. I've punished myself for mistakes I made and stewed in my guilt.

This strategy didn't help me or my kids. It left both of us feeling upset and sad because we can't change the past.

We must remember why we discipline both ourselves and our kids. And that is for us to learn and grow and do better in the future.

Instead of punishing yourself or your kids; acknowledge the mistake and ask:
"What did I/you learn from this?"
"What can I/you do better next time?"

This puts you and your child in control. You can't change the past, but you can change the future. Discipline allows you to make better choices in the future while punishment leaves you hanging in the past.

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

There's no getting around it - being a mom is tough and requires hard work!

There's no hack. There's no magic wand. There's no book. Being a mom takes hard work, consistently, over time.

Often people are searching for the easy way.
What is the "hack" to make this easier?
How can I do this quicker?

Anything worthwhile takes time, energy and effort. If being a mom, starting a business, winning a gold medal were easy then they wouldn't be so fulfilling.

Often it is the hard work over time that makes goals and achievements worthwhile.

Think back to an achievement you are really proud of....
Did it happen quickly?
Did you find some "hack" on the internet to get you there?
Was it easy?

More than likely - the answers are "no." So, what did you do? How long did it take?

Take entrepreneurship and small businesses. It is estimated that it takes about 7-10 years for a business to be successful! That is lots of work right there.

It took Mozart 10 years before he produced something popular.
Took Steve Jobs about 20 years to become really successful.
Took Walmart 7 years to open a second store and 25 years rapidly grow!

If you want to reach your goal, become successful, reach achievement - the work needs to be there.

Look at one area of your life you want to improve upon. Pick one, small action you can do today to make it better it. Keep doing that action over and over. See how the little actions, over time, with consistency add up to the hard work needed to become successful and reach your goals.

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

The day is starting off rough - you having dishes piling up, the laundry is overflowing and the to-do list doesn't seem to end. You feel like you haven't gotten anything done!

You feel like you should or could be doing more! You should be further along than you are now.

There is so much out there for you, Mama. AND at the same time you have already achieved so much in your lifetime thus far.

Often we get caught up in what we want to do, that we forget all of our achievements to date.

Make a list of 10 achievements in your life. Anything! From the time you were born up until now.

Keep the list somewhere you can grab it easily for those time you are feeling a little less than. Remind yourself of all the cool achievements you already have!

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

Have you ever made a to-do list with so many items on it you know you could never get it done in one day? Then you feel like you didn't accomplish anything because you didn't complete your list that was totally impossible to finish anyways?

A to-do list can keep you on task. It can ensure you don't forget important appointments. It can be beneficial when you are realistic about it.

I used to load up my to-do list! It had 15 things on there in addition to the daily tasks I do everyday and keeping 2 tiny humans alive and somewhat content. At the end of the day, I only checked off a couple items and scribbled out the date, changed it to tomorrow and added more tasks for the next day that I was sure to leave incomplete.

When we set unrealistic goals, or in this case to-do list. You are setting yourself up for disappointment and failure. You get 5 out of your 15 items completed but you still feel like you didn't REALLY get anything done because there are still 10 things left incomplete.

What if you list only had those 5 things and you checked them all off? How would you feel then? Pretty darn good!

Take out your to-do list and bring it down to 1-3 items that you KNOW you will accomplish today. Set yourself up for success!

In Episode 307 we also talked about how to break down your to-do list so you feel more accomplished without actually doing more. 

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

“For this one magical moment, all seems right in the world, and you feel pretty sure that your kids are not, in fact, going to grow up and be serial killers.”
- Kristy Woodson Harvey The Southern Side of Paradise

You're not always going to get this mom thing right, but there are those times when your kid says or does something and you know you got SOMETHING right.

Parenting is not all rainbows and sunshine, but every once in a while there is a rainbow and sunshine after the storm.

It doesn't happen all the time, but know that it will come.

I was having a crappy day and I picked my 5 year old up from camp and he handed me a "thank you" card that he made. He told me he just wanted to thank me for all that I do!

That was one of those moments, that I was sure I did something right along the way in this motherhood journey!

You won't get everything right, but no one does. When you make a mistake ask yourself what you learned from it and what you can do better next time. Use this with your kids as well.

And enjoy those rainbow moments when you know you did something right!
 

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

Where will you get the biggest return on your time and energy?

As moms, we often like to be the memory makers. We like to plan events, vacations, and traditions so our kids can have these wonderful childhood memories.

But sometimes, all that hard work results in a total flop and leaves you feeling upset that you put all these resources in and no one enjoyed it or appreciated it!

We went on a weekend beach trip. I was so excited to get to the beach, build sandcastles, play in the water, eat ice cream and enjoy fun times with the family! It didn't go that way...at all. The kids were upset, tired (they barely slept), I was frustrated and to top it all off...the ice cream shop was closed!

I thought the weekend was a total flop.

At Sunday dinner we always go around the table and say what our favorite part of the week was. Both my kids emphatically said the beach!

So maybe, all the work was worth it. I just didn't see it in the moment.

If you aren't sure where to put your time and energy to make memories, or if it is worth it; ask your kids what their favorite part of the day/week was. Look for similarities or patterns and that is where the work is worth it.



www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

You just planned an awesome day for the kids! You're ready to go and you know it's going to be the best day ever...and then the kids are complaining, you get frustrated and all your hard work seems to be for nothing!

There was a snow day here in North Carolina (doesn't happen too often) and I was so excited to take the kids out! We were going to build a snowman, go sledding, throw snowballs and have the best morning ever. We spend 25 minutes getting all our snow clothes on, we run out there ready for a great time... and then there is fighting, complaining, and everyone just wants to go back inside.

Instead of putting my time and energy into a "fun" snow morning, maybe we should have stayed inside and watched TV while I enjoyed a nice, hot cup of coffee.

You know those times when you think its going to be so much fun, and then it isn't? And you start wondering if all the work you put into these events is even worth it?

Maybe it is and maybe it isn't...

Here's a way to find out - ask your kids what their favorite part of the day was at the end of the day.

That snowy day, both my kids said playing in the snow. I was taken aback. But ya know what, they didn't remember all the effort to get ready. They didn't know what my expectations were. All they knew was they went out in the snow and had an amazing 2 minutes before everything went downhill.

Often it is our expectations that are the real letdown.

Today, go into in activity without expectations of the outcome. Put the time and energy into planning something without predicting what it will bring.

Put in the work and be open to the outcome. 

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

As a mom you put so much time, energy and resources into raising your kids; but we don't always see the payoff right away.

Often we have to put the work in and wait for results that we don't quite know when they will appear!

Let's say you have a garden, and you decide to plant some peonies (full disclosure I know nothing about flowers, this is what I had at my wedding and one of the few flowers I remember the name of...)

Anyways, you put the seeds in the ground, cover them up and water them.

Then you wait. And you water. And wait, water, wait, water...

You keep tending to it because you know at some point these beautiful flowers are going to bloom; but you just don't know when!

Keep putting in the work, Mama. And if you are having a tough day, week or month; know that good sh*t is on the way. You may now know when it will appear, but when you keep showing up, it is bound to show up too.

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett