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In this short Mindful Moment episode, I’m sharing a story from a recent family dinner — where a simple conversation question led to a much deeper reflection on emotions, thoughts, grief, and what it really means to “feel our feelings.”

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in life is that our feelings are created by our thoughts — but as I discovered while talking with my son, that idea can sometimes be misunderstood.

There are emotions we are meant to feel — grief, sadness, heartbreak, disappointment — especially in times of loss. Those feelings are not problems to be solved or avoided. They are part of being human, and they need space to be processed.

But there is also another kind of suffering — the unnecessary pain created by unhelpful or untrue thoughts, rumination, self-criticism, and the stories our brains tell when they run on autopilot.

In this episode, I reflect on:

• the difference between necessary emotional pain and unnecessary suffering
• why resisting uncomfortable feelings often makes them stronger
• how grief and sadness need to be allowed — sometimes only a little at a time
• the seductive pull of “wallowing” days and familiar sad music
• how confirmation bias can spiral a bad day into overwhelm
• why acceptance can ease suffering — even when circumstances can’t change
• gentle ways to get curious about the thoughts underneath emotional discomfort

And I share a few simple questions you can ask yourself when a dark-cloud day appears:

• What am I feeling — and can I allow it instead of fighting it?
• What thought might be contributing to this feeling?
• Is that thought true… and is it helpful?
• Is there a kinder, more compassionate thought available to me right now?

Some days we can shift perspective.
Some days we simply sit with the feeling and let it soften with time.

Both are okay. 💛

If you’ve ever had one of those heavy days where nothing is “wrong,” but your mood just feels flat, tender, or heavy — this episode is for you.

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