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Mark Queppet
Mark Queppet episodes
- UM Coaching Call: College Productivity, Finding Your Path and the 80/20 Principle
Hey guys, back with another Vanguard Coaching Call where I record a coaching session I did with one of my Vanguard Community members.
In this call we cover college productivity, finding your path in life, and some advanced discussion of the 80/20 principle.
I hope you get a lot out of this call, and if you've got any topics that you'd like to see me coach people around, feel free to drop a comment. Otherwise, don't forget to like and subscribe!
52 min - Handling a partner who is a dysfunctional drama queen
How to deal with a spouse who is a needy drama queen who is in constant crisis
Having a significant other who behaves like this can make it nearly impossible for you to focus on yourself and your own goals.In this video I'll tech you the general strategy you'll need to employ to get both yourself and hopefully your spouse, on the right track@UniversalMan Hi Mark, My spouse thrives on crisis. Things are late, last minute, and rushed. Some of this is to be expected with 2 toddlers. But it goes beyond that. She needs a constant assistant , either me, a family member, or friend. If I try to make plans, they are squashed by the impending doom of whatever the crisis of the day is. How do I plan around this? I want to be consistent, responsible, and reliable.But I don’t know how to play on a team with constant crisis management. Because I’ve had issues with escapism that she takes very personally, I don’t know how to stand up to her because I’m always the bad guy. Practically, I become child care while she deals with her crisis. I don’t get my work done, I don’t get my exercise, and after a few days of this, my drive burns out and I’m back to confronting escapism.*** AnswerFigure out exactly what you want***** Focus only on changing yourself and what you can control***** Cannot be abstract, otherwise nothing will change***** You want protected time to work out and work on yourself***** Figure out exactly what that looks like***** Explain what you want with zero apologiesPresent a plan to get that***** Present a plan****** Childcare for kids***** Talk it through with herAccept that you'll likely need to poke the bear***** She'll feel like a victim***** Probably try and shit on you and turn you into the bad guy***** She's used to bullying you - some of it justified, some of it not***** Refuse to cede the frame on the unjustified stuff***** If she claims she'll do better and then doesn't, then change the plan***** Accept whatever faults you have, but refuse to let her tarnish your intentions hereBe stronger than her emotions#MarkQueppet #UniversalMan #Masculinity #Coaching #Productivity #Integrity17 min - Do you pass the "deep victimhood" test?
Most guys today realize that a victim mentality is the path of weakness and failure.
It's the idea that things are happening "to" you and that you lack any agency over your outcomes.Basically, it's focusing on the things you can't control and blaming them for your circumstances.This is in opposition to an "ownership" mentality where you focus on the things you CAN control, and doing everything in your power to succeed.I've seen a lot of guys on a self-improvement journey gain the capacity to avoid "surface" victimhood where they are whining about things being unfair etc.And don't get me wrong, this is definitely an improvement.The problem is that some guys make the mistake of thinking that when they cut out the surface victimhood, they are done.However, there is a DEEP form of victimhood which flies under the radar that is still extremely limiting but trickier to spot.Here's a little test I've come up with to spot even this more subtle form of victimhood:When you are in a state of challenge, simply ask yourself "What fantastic opportunity is this situation presenting me with?"If even asking this question annoys you, pisses you off, or makes you roll your eyes - DING DING DING you're harboring victim energy somewhere deeper in your system.If you think on the question and you can't come up with an answer, then sound the alarm because you're a victim to unconscious impulses.Those impulses might even be GOOD, but if they are unconscious then you don't own them.Every challenge is an unconditional opportunity for growth.True ownership is universally anti-fragile.You don't need to necessarily feel GOOD about what you're dealing with, you just need to be willing to consciously own the reality of the goods you are pursuing and the costs of their pursuit.If you can't honestly embrace and own what you're doing, then you need to CHANGE WHAT YOU'RE DOING.Don't get me wrong, I'm not pretending this is easy.But I'd argue it's way easier than living as a victim, that's for sure.UYAP,Mark Queppet#MarkQueppet #UniversalMan #Masculinity #Coaching #Productivity #Integrity11 min - If I could only build ONE habit it'd be this one
A good question can unlock the universe.
As a coach, I make a habit of collecting them.One that hit me the other day was:If I could help someone build only ONE habit, what would it be?Based upon all my experience, the answer jumped out at me: centered self-talk.This is basically the practice of bringing the best OF yourself, TO yourself.In other words, it's the act of showing up as a leader and friend, and engaging yourself in conversation, problem solving, reflection, and motivation.I've found that most guys have pretty good leadership and friendship skills already.They know how to help people solve problems, handle emotions, and even inspire others.Even if you're not world class at any of those things, most guys at least get the basics.The tragedy is that so few guys actually share that power WITH THEMSELVES.All you need to do is tune into your emotions, see what they are saying, and then respond to them.Sometimes you need to solve a problem or make a decision.Sometimes you need to sort through your goals, plans, and priorities.Sometimes you need to process negative emotions and give yourself encouragement or affirmation.Sometimes you just need to remind yourself to lighten up and laugh!In short, the best habit is to regularly take the time to pay attention to yourself!Personally, I try to do this in my own head whenever I have a down moment.The biggest issue is that centered self-talk can be so fluid and amorphous that it can be difficult to really practice it enough to internalize the habit.The simplest method is to have some structuredjournaling/voice memo discipline where you sit down and have a meeting with yourself every day.If you get this down, you'll find that this not only solves a huge chunk of your problems, it will automatically will lead to you building additional positive habits.UYAPMark QueppetP.S.The best way I know how to build that voice is through daily interaction with a trusted community like the Vanguard. We have restructured the Vanguard Elite tier offering and by using code NEWELITE at checkout you can grab a literal once-in-a-lifetime discount to sign up for just $35.75/mo14 min - Onlyfans Empowers Women by…
No doubt you've heard about what Onlyfans is.
But in case you haven't it's basically like Patreon but for porn.The idea is that people can pay to subscribe to you and then you share lewd pictures and videos with them.There have been a number of high profile celebrities who have gotten on the platform and apparently there are now over one million "creators" on there.Basically, the platform is just digitized prostitution made easy.I suppose it is only "fair" that women should be empowered to devalue their sexuality just as easily as men.In times past, men had to develop morals and character to live in harmony with their sexuality.This maturation occurred through the disciplining of their wild polygamous instinct through a committed relationship for the sake of raising a strong family.This act of self-mastery not only benefitted the man by bringing him peace and fulfillment when done healthily, but formed the cornerstone of society through the construction of solid families.However, internet pornography has allowed guys to avoid this maturation by keeping a virtual harem of women in their pockets.Onlyfans now offers the same degeneracy but in a feminine form.Instead of being polygamous (wanting to mate with many people) women are primarily hypergamous (wanting to mate with the person with the highest status / most resources).Previously, women were forced to mature by sacrificing the resources and attention of all the other men and learning how to accept, support, and nurture her husband and children.Now, she can get adulation and money from as many guys as she's able to entice.I'm quite confident they will find exactly as much satisfaction down that path as men have found in porn.This is not progress, this is degeneracy.Be a part of the opposition.UYAP! (Unleash Your Apex Potential)Mark Queppet#MarkQueppet #UniversalMan #Masculinity #Coaching #Productivity #Integrity14 min - Universal Man Coaching Call: Porn Addiction, Channelling Motivation and Iteration
Today I'm going to be trying something a little different.
Instead of my normal video, I've recorded a coaching call that I recently had with a Vanguard member, Jun.In it we talk about how to shift from a vacuous and insecurity based mentality where you are primarily motivated by fear and self-resentment into a radiant dignity based mentality where you motivate yourself through gift, play, and ultimately - love.Honestly it might not be the best first video of this type because it holds a decent amount of "advanced" material... but who knows - I'm hoping it will really click with some of you!Listen to me coach her on Anchor.UYAP! (Unleash Your Apex Potential)Mark Queppet1 hr 22 min - Why you SHOULDN'T talk about your goals (and when you absolutely SHOULD!)
There are two main camps when it comes to talking about your goals:
One camp says you should shout your goals from the rooftops for all to hear.The other side says you should keep them private and to yourself - letting your results speak for you.Arguments as to why you shouldn't share your personal goals with others:If you talk about your goals all the time, you can get the "high" of success without ever actually doing anything. An example would be the guy who loves how cool it makes him feel to talk about how he is an artist, entrepreneur, or whatever, but never actually produces anything.When you let other people in on your plans, changing direction or experiencing failure can seem more painful or difficult. If you keep it to yourself you'll be able to work through challenges and changes without dealing with anyone else's expectations.Other people can often have opinions that can create doubt or confusion and ultimately hold you back.Arguments for why you SHOULD share your personal goals with othersIf you tell people your goals, you have extra accountability. When you make a commitment in front of others, you are essentially tapping into motivation by putting your reputation up for collateral.In talking to others, you have the opportunity to work out your plans with the feedback of others and potentially grab some good ideas.By talking as someone who is going to do something, it helps you internalize that action as a part of your identity (assuming you actually follow through).I see the value in both perspectives, and so not surprisingly, my opinion is somewhat down the middle:Share your goals to the extent you are certain about you sticking with and accomplishing themOnly share with a small group of people who you trustDon't just tell them once, maintain rapport and accountability to talk through challenges, failures and changes of directionUYAP! (Unleash Your Apex Potential)Mark QueppetP.S. If you want an ideal environment for getting support and accountability on your goals, then the Vanguard could be a perfect upgrade to your process.#MarkQueppet #UniversalMan #Masculinity #Coaching #Productivity #Integrity15 min - Why videogames are holding you back
I've been a hardcore videogame player most of my life.
Recently though, I've had to come to terms with this choice:I could either unleash my potential...ORI could give up gaming.I don't believe it is possible for me to have both.Now I don't think this holds true for every person all of the time, (check the video version of this post to hear my more nuanced take) but in general I believe that videogames ultimately hold you back.Because here's the reality:To the extent that your neurochemical motivational system (dopamine, serotonin) is hooked into the fun of gaming, it is NOT hooked into the game of winning in real life.If your brain constantly is getting candy in the form of videogames, then the meat and veggies of real work and real progress will seem far less palatable.If you really want to see what you can do in the world, you can't just be willing to tolerate your ideal path, you need to be HOOKED on it.So for example, imagine that feeling of being hooked into a good game.You keep thinking about it, and are willing to play it for hours.Imagine if you had that SAME energy for the things that actually moved you forward in life.Imagine if real life was your game where you were leveling up your mind, your body, your finances and your relationships.Real life IS the greatest open world game that exists...The problem is that it is also the most hardcore game with the highest learning curve.As long as you've got these easy and fake virtual games to fall back on, you'll never want to play the real one.At some point you'll have to decide, where do you REALLY want to level up?UYAP! (Unleash Your Apex Potential)Mark Queppet13 min - My secret breathing trick for waking up early
What if you could gain a full hour of extra time per day that you could devote to anything you wanted that was free from distractions and full of energy?
Well you can get that hour, or even more, by simply getting up earlier!You can use this time for a workout, writing, prayer, or some important side-project that you don't have the energy for later in the evening.As someone who has chronically struggled to get up with my alarm, here's a special technique I've developed to help me get out of bed at the right time!1. Set one alarm ten minutes BEFORE you actually want to wake upThis can be on your phone on your nightstand - it just needs to make you open your eyes in bed.2. Set another alarm for when you ACTUALLY want to wake upYou can use your phone, but if you really struggle to wake up, this is best set on an old school alarm clock that you plug in somewhere that you cannot reach from your bed.This requires you to physically get out of bed to shut it off.3. When the first alarm goes off, START BREATHING DEEPLY and/or HOLD YOUR BREATHThe breathing oxygenates your brain and starts to wake you up. If you got enough sleep, this alone is usually enough to get you out of bed within a few minutes.If you DIDN'T get enough sleep, then that's where the breath-hold comes in. If you hold your breath as long as you can (don't hurt yourself or anything, just make it uncomfortable) it will send a spike of adrenaline through your system waking you up even further.4. Turn your brain on by beginning to think about the dayStart imagining yourself up, dressed, and going about your day. Imagine how good it would feel to already have crushed your morning routine. If you have something you are looking forward to or want to take care of, think of that as well.5. When your second alarm goes off hold your breath till you're out of bed!If you aren't out of bed already, then once that second alarm goes off play a game where "there's no more air in bed."Just hold your breath and your body will produce that natural adrenaline spike and you can use that to throw the covers back and get out.UYAP! (Unleash Your Apex Potential)Mark Queppet11 min - How To Beat The Dopamine Industrial Complex
It's no secret that the dopamine industrial complex (Facebook, Google, Twitter, Netflix, Reddit, MSM etc.) want to hack your brain to extract your resources.
If you let them do this then you'll lose time, money, and a significant amount of happiness.
It's only natural to think that walking away entirely might not be a bad idea.
However, I think very few people actually do this though because they don't want to miss out on all the GOOD that these companies can bring you.
Connection with people, learning cool new stuff, and some genuinely entertaining content are a very real part of what these companies offer.
What if you could just take the good from them without letting in all the bad?
Well I believe that's possible if you follow these four rules:
1. Have other shit to do
This is the most important thing.
As long as you have more important stuff to focus on, you can easily set up your relationship with the dopamine industrial complex where YOU are taking advantage of THEM and not the other way around
It's only when you are addicted to their drugs and playing their game that you're going to be in trouble.
2. Limit your exposure to their feeds and notifications
Content feeds are where the algorithms lurk, looking to pull you down rabbit holes of AI generated manipulative suggestions.
Avoid the scroll through their feeds as much as you possibly can
Notifications are what they use to interrupt you and pull you into their world.
Mute them and only look at the apps when YOU decide to.
3. Follow a small number of individuals/communities and unfollow everyone else
Bypass the noise of the hacks and wannabes and just go to the best creators and communities.
Bookmark them individually and avoid the feeds to get to them when you want.
4. Wait until you hear about something to look it uP
Don't just scroll stuff waiting for something to grab your interest.
Wait until something is big enough hear from other people before you even give it your time.
If it's important, you won't have to go looking for it.
UYAP! (Unleash Your Apex Potential)
Mark Queppet
12 min
About Mark Queppet
From the publisher's feed
I'll help you stop screwing around with low value escapism so you can win where it matters and become a man you admire.