Masks Off: Inner Freedom For People-Pleasers and Perfectionists

Most of us have developed coping strategies throughout our lives because we did not know how to deal with pain in a healthy and effective way. So many times when we are triggered by someone or something we resort to our coping strategies. This is not always a bad thing as these strategies served an important purpose- to protect us in some way. As we grow and evolve we do want to learn how to go inward when we notice our triggers and ask ourselves what does this wounded part of ourselves really need? There is almost always a wounded part of ourselves that needs to know that everything is ok no matter what is going on in our lives. This part of ourselves probably needs self-compassion and self-love. Deb actually shares that it is an act of self-love when we deal with our triggers in a compassionate and loving way. This is what she does for her clients time and time again. When we can learn how to hold ourselves in a loving and compassionate way then we can begin to heal. Deb has so much insight and wisdom on this topic and you won’t want to miss this one.

“The people who trigger us to feel negative emotions are the messengers. They are messengers for the unhealed parts of our being.” ~ Teal Swan

Go to our Teachable Online School and check out our courses including our signature FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course https://masksoff.teachable.com/courses

Deb Blum is a Self-Love + Authenticity Coach and Certified Global Sisterhood Facilitator. She also is in the process of launching A Better Life Academy (a repository for courses and online products that she creates on her own and with others) and The Self-Love Sanctuary (a paid membership group). For nearly a decade, she worked with women to create a better life for themselves, to suffer less and feel more fulfilled, and to become more effective and empowered. She is also the show host for her own YouTube Channel and co-host for the Parenting 3.0 Podcast. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband of 19 years and her two teenage sons.

To get your Free Gift, “Trigger Trail Buddy”, from Deb go to: https://debblum.simplero.com/trigger-trail-buddy-lp

You can reach Deb Blum at:

https://debblum.com

https://www.facebook.com/deb.blum/

[email protected]

To Contact Us:

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

Episode 85

In the previous episode, Kim and Tia talked about how we navigate the “storms” in our lives. Often times, there are lessons to learn from these storms. One of those lessons is learning that we cannot calm the storm and we can only calm ourselves. Sometimes though, it is very difficult to calm ourselves while we are in the middle of a storm. We may expect ourselves to handle things differently than we actually are and we put more pressure on ourselves. Very often, our inner child gets activated when we are in the middle of a storm or perhaps, we just are exhausted because the storm is strong and severe and surviving it takes a great deal of energy. In either case, if you are struggling with how, you respond when you are in the thick of a massive storm, just give yourself permission to just be; however that looks.

“There Are Days I Drop Words Of Comfort On Myself Like Falling Leaves And Remember That It Is Enough To Be Taken Care Of By Myself.” ~ Brian Andreas

Go to our Teachable Online School and check out our courses including our signature FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course https://masksoff.teachable.com/courses

To Contact Us:

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

Episode 84

How do you respond when you feel that you are in the midst of a “storm”? Do you try and control everything around you or do you take one step at a time? Do you try and control people, places and things, or do you focus on what you can control? What can you actually control? The only thing in life that we really have control over is ourselves and how we respond to outside factors. Sometimes the storm we are in is inside of ourselves. Kim and Tia talk about how outside events are mirrors to things we need to learn and grow within ourselves. Sometimes the storm inside ourselves is a result of how we respond to external events. To hear more tune in and listen.

“You can’t calm the storm, so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.” ~ Timber Hawkeye

Go to our Teachable Online School and check out our courses including our signature FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course https://masksoff.teachable.com/courses

To Contact Us:

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

Episode 83

Do you feel that your relationships with others whether it be a boss, significant other, children, friends etc… are healthy? Do you show up as real and authentic in these relationships? Or, do you wear a relationship mask? To hear more about what it looks like to wear a relationship mask, how we develop a relationship mask, and often lock ourselves in a cage of the relationship mask, listen in. Listen in as Margot shares her knowledge and expertise on relationships. She has worked with countless women to help them move from entrapment to empowerment in their relationships and in their lives.

Listen in for three key takeaways.

“Silence is the key to connecting to your heart.” ~ Margot Zaher from her book “The Golden Cage - from entrapment to empowerment”

About Margot Zaher:

Margot Zaher helps women in stagnant relationships break free of unhealthy patterns and reclaim their power so that they can experience deeper levels of connection and intimacy.

She holds a Masters in psychology, and is a certified professional coach, hypnotherapist, psychotherapist, and EMDR Facilitator.   Margot, the creator of the Women’s Empowerment Academy,  has helped hundreds of women reclaim their power in intimate relationships. She’s the author of the Amazon bestseller “The Golden Cage: from entrapment to empowerment” where she guides readers to identify and break free of Life Cage’s, including relationship ones.   After going from being stuck in troubled relationships to manifesting her soul mate, she uses her experiences to help women shift unhealthy relationship patterns, and tap into their inner power and guidance to create their dream relationships.

Margot is the creator of the Relationship Reset Bootcamp, an online 14-day LIVE program that teaches women stuck in stagnant or unhealthy relationships how to break free of toxic patterns and reclaim their power so that they experience greater love, connection, and intimacy with their partner.  Visit www.RelationshipResetBootcamp.com to learn more.

Get a free gift that helps you transform your relationships at www.RelationshipResetGift.com

Connect with Margot:

FB page:  https://www.facebook.com/MargotZaherCoaching

IG: @Margotmindsetcoach

Twitter: @margotZaher

Linked In:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/margot-zaher-2451111/

Clubhouse:  @margotzaher

To Contact Us:

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

Do you ever find yourself in one of those head spaces where you feel like you are in a total fog? Do you feel like you are flying circles in an airplane that won’t seem to land. Or perhaps you feel like one of those pinball machines and you are bouncing all over the place. Sometimes it can feel like life is just coming at us. Maybe we have many things that we are trying to juggle and on top of all of that, we may be having a conflict with someone important to us or maybe we are showing up in a way that does not feel good. Whatever the muck is that you may be feeling the best thing to do in those moments is to have grace and self compassion and to realize that this is the current reality for this moment in time. To hear more of this conversation tune and listen to Kim and Tia as they share their own struggle with this very topic.

“What the head makes cloudy the heart makes clear.” ~ Don Henley

Go to our Teachable Online School and check out our courses including our signature FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course https://masksoff.teachable.com/courses

To Contact Us:

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

Do you ever feel like you are stuck in looping thoughts or a pattern or behaviour that never goes away? Are you stuck in depression, anxiety, or addictive behavior? Do you find yourself in a situation where you feel stuck or trapped? Perhaps you are trapped in particular roles or expectations. Maybe you feel like a victim. If you answered yes to any of these questions, listen in as Kim and Tia discuss both the dark and light side of any situation and how we really have the power within us to free ourselves from the prison that we find ourselves trapped in.

“Freedom is of the Mind; I went to prison but never let my mind go to prison.” by Archie Williams

YouTube Video we reference in the episode: https://youtu.be/ShgOH1u78XA

Go to our Teachable Online School and check out our courses including our signature FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course https://masksoff.teachable.com/courses

To Contact Us:

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

One of the hallmark symptoms of co-dependency is enmeshment and caretaking. The truth is that we are only responsible to take care of ourselves and those that truly cannot take care of themselves. What we often do that may get us in trouble is to take care of people that should be taking care of themselves. When we do this we take away their own inner power to know what it feels like to take care of themselves. When we take our hands off the wheel and really focus on ourselves and not on others all the time, we give ourselves and others the opportunity to grow. Listen in to hear more about what Tia and Kim share about this.

“Don’t give so much of yourself to others that you end up losing yourself.” ~Anonymous

Go to our Teachable Online School and check out our courses including our signature FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course https://masksoff.teachable.com/courses

To Contact Us:

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

Episode 78

If you try to avoid pain, you are not alone. We are wired to move away from pain and move toward pleasure. The issue is that as we move away from pain, we often avoid it or push it down and run from it. That can create a whole host of issues in our lives including anxiety, depression and addictions as well as unhealthy relationships. In this interview with Janet, she speaks about how we can face our pain and how we can heal from it. She explains that pain is a portal to healing. When we heal, we can experience more joy, freedom and empowerment.

Listen in for three key takeaways and more!

· What is an important question to ask ourselves (@ ~ 13 min)

· Why journaling is helpful for releasing pain in the moment (@ ~23 min)

· How to find presence and move away from anxiety (@ ~39 min)

“Feeling the sensations and pain is like touching the bottom of the deep end of the pool. Once you do, you can push off, come to the surface, and breathe again.” ~ Janet Philbin

Janet is offering a free inner growth and awareness healing guided meditation - click here https://www.janetphilbin.com/guided-meditation to gain access

About Janet Philbin:

Janet is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Hypnotherapist and Certified Conscious Parenting Coach. Janet helps adults heal from the emotional pain and trauma of their past. She is the owner of Janet Philbin, ACSW a private psychotherapy and hypnotherapy practice. For 21 years Janet has been successfully helping people recover from their emotional wounds and change their lives with the power of transformational healing and hypnotherapy.

She’s the author of, Show Up For Yourself: A Guide to Inner Awareness and Growth. Her book offers readers a framework to heal their emotional wounds and become emotionally whole once again.

Connect with Janet:

[email protected]

https://www.facebook.com/hypnosisforhope

IG: @janet_philbin_LCSW

Website: JanetPhilbin.com

Go to our Teachable Online School and check out our courses including our signature FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course https://masksoff.teachable.com/courses

To Contact Us:

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

Do you find it easy or difficult to hold a boundary with others. Do you get so stuck in your position that you build a wall between you and the other or do you cave easily because you are afraid of upsetting the other. Boundaries are difficult and can nurture a relationship or it can hurt relationships. It is also important to realize that boundaries can be fluid and can change if we live in the moment and allow each moment to determine our decisions. If you want to hear more about boundaries and how to show up with them listen in as Kim and Tia deconstruct the topic of boundaries.

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges” ~ Joseph Fort Newton

Go to our Teachable Online School and check out our courses including our signature FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course https://masksoff.teachable.com/courses

To Contact Us:

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

Episode 77

Are you in resistance to the “as is'' especially if that reality is painful? Do you move away from pain and continually seek out pleasure? Our minds are wired to avoid pain and move toward pleasure but the problem arises when we resist pain. This is a problem because when we resist pain we cause more suffering in our lives. We can not know joy without knowing sadness and we can not know freedom without knowing pain. It is through contrast in our lives that we grow if we allow it. So, we invite you to embrace the pain in your life and be open to healing and facing the pain. The benefits of healing our pain are well worth it.

“Contrast is not ‘bad’ since the contrast we experience still causes us to learn and grow.” ~Alaric Hutchinson

Go to our Teachable Online School and check out our courses including our signature FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course https://masksoff.teachable.com/courses

To Contact Us:

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

Episode 76